Pitfalls & benefits of anonymity?!

I rarely post, but have a look in to catch up most days. I would find it difficult to be other than I am in my my everyday life, and I’m often amazed at the reactions of some of posters - it makes me wonder what they’re like in person!

It is only here have I been mocked for spelling errors or attacked for having a different understanding of a word to the attacker. Had plenty of disgreements on other forums but never encountered the bullying which takes place here

Ailsa, I'm so sorry you were treated like that, but glad GNHQ tackled it.
I'm glad of the anonymity, only my DH knows I'm on GN and that is only because I had to tell him why I was disappearing to Edinburgh for the meet up. Offloading worries without upsetting my family is such a bonus.
I wouldn't dream of being rude or attacking other posters, as I would hate it to happen to me. I'm just the same on here as real life. (Well maybe not when I'm in the Argy cafe in my other persona)
It is upsetting when some posters "attack" other posters in the disguise of a "robust" discussion. I just can't understand why they are like that.

jenpax is so right - on my first post over a year ago I was attacked so badly by a number of people, and it nearly destroyed me - therefore this is only my 2nd post on here. It would appear that there are a huge lot of vicious women on here - I think it is atrocious - and destructive and very hurtful. You "ladies" should be ashamed of yourselves.

Same here as in RL. Still miss the group I belonged to for over ten years with aol. But some lovely people here

To you too.

Thank you Wilma, and Happy New Year to you.

PS There was a thread on here recently and if that had been the very first one I read, I would have been out of here like a shot. It featured frequent posters and reading the posts I felt like they were speaking in a different language all of a sudden. Talk about undercurrents.

Ailsa that's a pretty awful thing to have happened to you. I'm glad GNHQ helped, but sad it was necessary.

I am the same whether online or in RL, I am afraid I call a spade a shovel and probably come across as brusque. I am afraid I don't go in for pussy footing.

I;m totally unidentifiable on here , from other sites of which I'm a member, and none of my friends or family know I'm a member of this site or that in fact I have this user name. , so in theory I could be as rude as I liked if I was that way inclined , however in the several years I've been a member I just read this site and never commented on any thread as Im quite shy. Finally I plucked up the courage to post on an innocuous thread..and a member who has posted in this thread immediately attacked me in a mocking manner calling for another member to do the same. That person is on this thread saying they are not rude to anyone.

As it was my first post I wasn't about to permit anyone to bully me from my very first post so I reported this person to admin who were horrified and apologised profusely ..and then admin changed my user name for me.. so that I couldn't be attacked again...

I still rarely post on here due to that person's unwarranted attack on me who ultimately apologised but spoiled the forum as a potential friendly face for me ..

I've never considered this question before.

I agree being anonymous means you can be more open, but I am well aware I have a tendency to want to be liked, so I am not likely to be rude, brusque or anything like that here in the virtual world or in the real world. Very occasionally my halo slips and I say something I immediately regret - and then apologise.

I have to be careful and remember that not everyone is my friend. I do struggle with the forthright manner of some posters because it doesn't feel right to me, but that's my problem not theirs. I've always been opinionated and spent my working life in support/advisor roles, so it's natural to me to suggest what someone can do even if they never asked!

But there's a difference for me between GN and the other online places I post. I learn a lot from being a member of GN. There's such a huge range of life experiences here, partly because of the age of the members - basically from about 50 and upwards - half a century of living in some cases. I'm at the younger end with no children/grandchildren and only one of my close friends had children (child actually). Despite how heated discussions can become, I love the way on GN we can talk about anything and share our opinions. I'm sure the anonymity aspect gives lots of posters the chance to discuss subjects in a way not available to them in real life.

As much as I enjoy posting here, I suspect I get more from reading posts than writing them.

?Nannytee

I think I behave and 'speak' exactly the same on here as I do elsewhere and I would feel very sorry if people were to find me rude or overbearing. I am however fairly forthright in real life, but possibly slightly less so on here simply because, as others have said, I don't know the wider circumstances of people's lives.

NannyTee

Psychologists could have a field day, there's plenty of data to analyse ??lol

I do not think anonymity makes me rude. but as others have said it does enable one to be more open. Although I am aware that I have close friends now whom I met through GN and that also one or two family members who follow GN and know I am on it, have sussed out whom I am from the style and content of my posts.

I am careful not to post anything about friends and family members that might be instantly identifiable and will sometimes tweek any personal anecdotes to make sure that people mentioned in them are not identifiable.

Yes Bridgeit . Totally understand

Agree NannyT & MissAdveture, I don't belong to any other social media sites for that very reason, but even on here what started out as enjoyable suddenly seems at times a little bit cruel & judgmental, then before I realise I am starting to behave the same! hopefully I can keep away from the more vitriolic threads which can be quite seductive. Humans are such strange beings !

I find myself reading more than commenting. Just don't want to put my big clumsy foot in the works.

Sometimes when threads are made about quite awful issues, you get to see just what circumstances some people are living with. I would hate to think I had upset someone who was already having a difficult time.

I'm probably more careful than I would be face to face when I can gauge reactions to a comment and instantly correct any misunderstanding. Still put my foot in it though.

mollie you are just as lovely in real life

What nina says.

Not you ninathenana, in general. See!prime example haha.