I was seething today and I don't seeth very often.
I go to a knitting group. A person in a wheelchair turns up with their carer. Room has to be made and one knitter was asked to move to another seat to make way for the carer. The wheelchair is next to me. When coffee time came someone made this person a coffee in a mug they had with them. I now have to get involved as he/she cannot reach the table to put it down. They then get a carton of special milk out and fill the mug to the brim. Not wanting this over me some was tipped away by another knitter. In the meantime at two different times two knitters tried to get this person knitting without success. Later the lady who runs the group notices the carton of milk on the floor spilling out over the carpet. The lady who runs it gets down on her knees she's over 70 and cleans the floor up. The carer so called does absolutely nothing and isn't sitting next to her charge, I am.
Of course being an all inclusive group we have to let anyone in who wants to come. I know it sounds unkind but this person was not capable of knitting in any shape or form. This carer knows she can have any easy ride and rest by bringing this person along and basically dumping them there while she has a relaxes.
Strangely enough I have another example from the day before (which probably added to my annoyance today).
DH and I were on a bus and a wheelchair with carer got on. After a little while there was the ghastly smell of some greasy take away. It became evident the man in the wheelchair was eating it. He then tried to attract the attention of his carer who had earphones on and it took another passenger on the bus to poke him as the man in the chair had dropped the food all over the floor of the bus. The carer did clear up after a fashion, but did he think it was a good idea to give food to someone with limited capacity a meal on a bus....I question where they get these people from and why aren't they doing the job they're paid for.
My experience of a carer for my husband was awful. I find this is quite common. The problem is that Social Services outsource to the cheapest provider who do not provide staff training and so some carers have no idea of even the most basic health and safety. Of course some carers are good, but not all of them.
Mad gran - too easy?!
I do wonder why on earth a conversation wasn't had at the time rather than all this seething!!
Was anybody actually talking to either 'the carer' or 'the person'? As Stella, Sam and others have posted it doesn't sound a very friendly or welcoming group. What a shame!
Well your group dies not sound caring or inclusive ...
And as for the bus incident just the way you’ve written it shows no compassion or understanding...
I hope your or yours are never in this position
I entirely agree that its about time that carers were given the living wage. In our paper today it was announced that Aldi were going to increase their hourly pay for staff. That will take it well above the rate paid by care providing organisations round us. Recruitment and retention is already a major problem for the charity I'm involved with.
Well of course Room has to be made - we are talking about a person here, who would rather just walk in and sit on a chair, the same as everyone else. Unfortunately she has to come in a wheelchair - it's large, not easily manoeuvrable, potentially embarrassing when people have to move to make space.
Ok, so she wasn't able to knit but maybe it was something she used to love to do and surely she would be welcome as a part of a likeminded group?
People need to realise some disabled people are just not suited to an environment which is very cramped - I totally disagree with this statement. We should be inclusive to all.
Next week/ next year it could be anyone of us in that same situation and I'd personally hope I'd be welcome in a group such as this.
We may also be unlucky enough to have a Carer who isn't particularly conscientious too, though in my experience a lot of them are exceptionally good. It's about time we learnt to value 'care' and pay people a living wage. It's no wonder some of them don't put their heart and soul into it- the pay is abysmal.
loopyloo you got there before me. The wheelchair user was described in the OP as this person, he/she, they, but actual gender never referred to. How odd!
My daughter has risk assessment but they are undertaken for each outing but covers nearly every situation for her needs. The building would or should be accessible for a wheelchair, so on that score no risk assessment needed. Fire, well there should be fire exits etc and a notice showing how to leave the building etc. As the building is geared up for the disabled I don’t see need the for a risk assessment.
"This person" in the wheelchair didnt have a very good afternoon it seems. Presumably she he had a name and a gender but it was not acknowledged. I understand your frustration with the carer but it would have been a way to teach her a caring and inclusive attitude.
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My recent experience of carers is over the last year for my FiL. The carers have been excellent. Any problems we've had have been down to the office staff and the shortage of carers. In our experience carers are trying their best and it does not surprise me at all that so many leave the job. Carers are just not valued in our society.
The carer should do the job, yes, but part of a person in a wheelchair going out, out anywhere, is for a change of scene and a change of faces, whatever might happen in the way of stuff spilt, others irritated etc. Whether or not she could knit is not the point here IMHO.
I can see the point of those who just wanted a quiet knit as well.....
Gosh! I've read all the comments and I'm blown away by the determined effort to think the worst of the OP.
I've been a paid carer (in my later years after retirement) NOT for any relative or as agency staff but in a private capacity. My salary was either a mixture of the person paying me out of their care allowance or paid by family members. My earnings have been as high as £980 for a 10 hour day (1 week on 1 off, living in for the week on) which did not include cooking or cleaning, for a lady paralysed from the waist down and needing hoisting etc and as little as £350 npw with use of a car and suite of rooms for an elderly gentleman with Alzheimer's. I've worked with carers from around the world and very few, VERY few are uncaring carers. One male Trinidadian carer was so caring that he even talked to and apologised when moving him, to the old gentleman we were laying out. I am still in touch with this marvellous man who is now married to a Polish lady carer.
Most private carers are very well paid. I sourced my work through The Lady magazine and thoroughly enjoyed my second career.
I meant to say that the carer/volunteer may have felt awkward if she herself felt excluded from the group?
The ‘carer’ or the volunteer who accompanied the lady in the wheelchair may have felt rather uncomfortable, too?
Like another poster has already mentioned, the venue would have had to be risk-assessed before the outing could take place, I would’ve thought.
It’s very possible that the person accompanying the lady in the wheelchair was a volunteer, but she would’ve/should’ve been aware of the person’s needs.
'A wheelchair got on the bus'. Was there not a person in the wheelchair?
Cloths, ot clothes ?
It’s strange, but so often it doesn’t occur to a person to simply speak up in a polite manner. What would be the problem in simply saying to the person in the wheelchair something like ‘oh dear, I’ll get your carer’, or turning to the carer and saying ‘excuse me, the lady has spilled X on the floor’ and if necessary ‘we keep the clothes . . . ‘. Instead, so many people grumble on and on about something someone else is doing or not doing, without addressing it!
Maybe the lady in the wheelchair didn’t want todo anything on the first visit, just sit and watch and listen. I went to a patchwork group and did nothing, just sat and watched what was going on and seeing if it was something I wanted to do. Also someone made me a drink and I am not in a wheelchair. Just maybe this lady wanted to do the same and the carer understood this or had been told that was want she wanted before she went. So the carer took a step back. It happens with my daughter who despite needing a carer would just like sometime to feel like the rest of society and anyone who thinks carers are lazy, paid or unpaid, well just try it for a day.
Incidentally if you do see a carer you are concerned about (especially if they are with someone with learning disabilities or someone with difficulties communicating) then report them! You can usually find out where they’re from.
My son was out with 2 carers recently who moved very close to him as they walked past a dog. Anyway the carers were reported by the dog walker who for whatever reason didn’t like what they saw. The carers had actually done exactly the right thing - he does need people either side of him near dogs. The thing is they didn’t mind being reported as they were pleased people care enough to report if that makes sense.
People have also over the years reported when theh have observed things that shouldn’t have happened. My husband and I have always been incredibly grateful.
Thanks for the groupon suggestion Wilma - always on the look out for that sort of thing!
My personal & professional experience has little to do with it tbh.
It just isn’t acceptable to say inclusion is ok up to a point for disability any more than it’s okay to say equal opportunities for women are ok up to a certain point, or including people from other cultures is okay up to a certain point.
There is no reason for someone sitting quietly in wheelchair to be excluded from a social knitting group.
True WilmaKnickersfit but sometimes playing Devil’s Advocate just earns you a kicking from both sides.
I haven’t read your post yet Annie but I’ll backtrack and do that now. However I can’t imagine it would be anything but reasonable.
annsixty there's nothing wrong with playing devil's advocate and your posts seemed perfectly reasonable to me.
If Nesumi had explained her very understandable stance earlier in this conversation, I would also have understood where she was coming from.
I am still very angry with replies to my post but I would not have tried to play Devil's advocate so strongly. I do always TRY to see both sides.
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