Or even a bit precious? Mother of the Bride outfit.

When my DS married, the MOG and I consulted to ensure that we didn't buy the same colour and we both felt comfy in our outfits (apart from the shoes lol).

When my DD was getting married she asked to go shopping for my outfit with me. We chose a bright dress and a toning jacket which could be worn after to other events or even work. Her MIL is not the same generation as me and so was unlikely to be dressed in a similar way. Yes, it is the brides day but they usually want their Mum and MIL to look and feel good too.

Perhaps in future it will teach you to keep your mouth shut if you find something to wear that you don't want others to copy but, honestly, anyone could have found the same shop and outfit by themselves without your help if it is the sort of place people go to for special occasion clothes.

So sorry Marion somehow thought your son was getting married. As mother of the bride you will be even busier, hosting the whole event. And you and your daughter get to choose the theme colours! Have a lovely, lovely time. When is the wedding?

Dear Marion, dressing important events has always been a nightmare for me. My younger daughter’s wedding fifteen years ago was a nightmare, the mother of the groom is size 8, very dramatic, athletic and arty and I am size 20 and even then had mobility problems.
I think that the key to all this is “to your own self be true”.
Comfort is another thing to consider very carefully. These days weddings are a marathon, lasting late into the evening. I had two pairs of smart shoes, heels to wear for the ceremony and meal, flats to change into for the evening and dancing.
IMO the bride should be the only person wearing white or ivory. I was at a wedding where the mother of the bride entered the chapel wearing a full length white ensemble and everyone thought the bride had arrived and stood up. She was very embarrassed.
Choose your colour from what suits you best and make sure it doesn’t clash with the themed colour for the wedding, bridesmaids dress whatever. Also as you will be photographed with the bride’s family you should blend with her mother’s colour. Don’t worry about what your friend is having, on this occasion she is an also ran honoured guest.
I personally have a problem with spending a lot of money on clothes to be worn once, but if you fancy something expensive, why not?
At my daughter’s wedding I liked my outfit, felt comfortable in it and didn’t have a lot of time to think about what I looked like. As the mother of the groom you will have your invited guests to look after and also the groom and groomsmen.
Above all make sure you enjoy it. We have very few of these grand occasions in life.
I must say looking at the photographs afterward I thought I looked very matronly, but that is what I am and our children love us for what we are after all.
I do hope this advice isn’t obvious and patronising, it isn’t meant to be.
Hope you find something you feel fabulous in!

I understand how you feel. I bought an outfit from Monsoon as I went to one of the queens garden parties. Every other outfit was the same or similar ( I'm exaggerating of course) but I decided that next time I'd be more particular in what I chose.

have I missed the point here? I am presuming the other lady wont be coming to your daughter's wedding, so it wont matter if your outfits come from the same shop, and also you said your daughter's wedding was the first one. If you've found an outfit/shop that you love, go for it............! You are not being precious. Good luck!

Your DD’s wedding is first, therefore everyone who sees both outfits will think the other woman copied your good taste.

To be honest I told everyone (well family and MOG) what I would be wearing when I was MOB at daughter's wedding as I was terrified that someone would wear an identical outfit which would have beeen embarrassing! It was from a well known high street shop. I don't understand the need for secretiveness!

i found out from both my DILs what colours their mums where looking at and what her colour theme was and went from there I am lucky that I can get away with most colours.During the last 8/9 mths prior to the weddings I tried on many outfits and looking on line almost everyday e-bay gives loads of ideas,I found both outfits from well known outlets and knew as soon as I tried them on they where for me,regardless of what anyone else choice to wear and DILs where happy too.
Have you thought of looking at a Agency that does hiring you can spend the whole day there trying on and mixing and matching accessories its worth a try to get a piece that no one else has or seen on display in a store.

It's not the same wedding and her's is after your's so either people will not notice or think that she copied you. If there aren't many shops to choose from, there is a strong possibility that she would find the same shop anyway.
There is nothing you can do about it so just enjoy choosing what you like. You know it won't be totally exclusive.
It sounds as if you are worrying a bit generally and have focused on that. Try to find a way to relax and just enjoy the wedding preparation.
Good luck with the weight. I started to lose a bit at the end of the Summer and seem to have put it back and then some so I'm going to have to be more careful now.

I appreciate it's a big day for you and you're probably getting stressed about everything BUT, yes you are being too precious. Anybody could buy the same dress so what's the problem? My sister recently went to a wedding where another guest was wearing the same dress. To break the ice sis went up to her laughing and told the other woman how much better she (the other woman) looked in the dress - the other woman turned and walked away without a word.

If you find an outfit which you like which flatters you I don't think you can ask for much more. Try not to compare yourself with others - there'll always be times when you either come out better or worse (but probably only in your own over-critical eyes), just try to enjoy the day.

I can't understand your problem - it's not as though you're going to the same wedding so why on earth are you bothering what she'll look like in a similar outfit to yours? If you wanted to keep it secret, why did you share it in the first place - everyone knows even their best friend can be tempted to share. Why are you worrying that she'll find out what it cost - you'll know what hers cost! Just park the worries, they're very trivial in the great scheme of things. Get yourself a beautiful outfit you feel comfy & look fab in - size 14 is hardly massive! - and enjoy your daughter's big day. Who cares what anyone else has bought for another wedding!

Well done on your diet Marion. Could you get a message to mother of the bride to let her know which outfit you have your eye on so she can avoid it? But ask her not to tell anyone else. If she's a reasonable person she will understand. And bear in mind accessories often make an outfit. I think bright contrasting accessories look stunning with, say, navy.

Come on, of course it's the bride's day, but it's still a big deal for the bride's mother too. Guests will look at what the bride's mother and the groom's mother are wearing and it's always been that way.

I envy those of you who don't understand why the OP might feel less confident in a size 14 than a 10. And I can understand what the OP's getting at if she's visualising her friend wearing the same outfit even if it's at a different wedding. Not everyone is body confident and I am surprised that more people can't acknowledge this instead of ridiculing the OP's feelings.

No one has mentioned what your DD thinks. Why not ask her to help you choose? It is her day after all. My DiL had a lot of choice in what I wore to their wedding and it was good to know I didn't clash with her mother. Other DiL and I discussed colours for the same reason.

I certainly wouldn't worry about what someone else is wearing to a different wedding.

Marion Halcombe - of course you want to feel good on the day - but really ... how would knowing that somewhere else in the universe on an entirely different day, somebody who you don't know other than as a friend of a friend, might be wearing the same thing, and looking better than you? You are being more than precious - it's ridiculous - you must accept that somewhere - maybe even in your own street - you have neighbours who have the exact same clothing items as yourself. If this doesn't bother you then what you are feeling about the MOB outfit is jealousy that somebody else may wear it better than you - but you'll never see it so why worry? Congratulations on losing 2 stone by the way.

People like that are so irritating and you know they have done nothing wrong. Grrr When you want to share your brilliance and someone else thinks they can just take it for themselves. It’s just humanly annoying and wrong. I have no useful comment to make on mob or mpg outfits. I wasn’ particularly pleased with either of mine. So good luck. And keep looking and keep your mouth shut such a shame though. But I have fallen foul of this phenomenon often.

Unless you are going to HER daughter's wedding and she YOUR daughter's wedding, why are you worried? She is hardly likely to pick the same outfit and so what, if she knows the approximate price of your outfit...you'll know hers. Goodness me. I'd rather be a size 14 than a skinny 10. A competition it ain't. It's all about YOUR DAUGHTER. Keep to a sensible 'diet and buy some good underwear which will smooth out the curves and make your dress look even better.
Great skin, a new hair-style perhaps (a few weeks before to get used to it) and a professional to do your make-up. Go out there, enjoy the day and smile smile smile.

Well at least you know the style that you like. You could just quietly look for the same sort of style in a different colour/fabric (that works for your 'colour season') and not let other people know what you have chosen. You clearly have good taste if the other person admires your choice. We all feel a bit vulnerable as MOB, I can understand your anxiety.
The internet will save you masses of legwork and then you can refine your final choices down and reserve two or three outfits to go and try on and buy your favourite in the appropriate shop.
The other alternative is to take a picture of your chosen outfit to a dressmaker and have something made, although that makes me a little nervous as you have to buy the finished article even if it is not quite as you had envisaged.

oops meant to say its your day too!!

I don't think your precious marion its a huge event emotionally and unless you feel that you are looking your best its easy to let the day overwhelm you. Be sure you buy the outfit you really want and its comfortable as well as stylish. If you can get some more wear after if well and good but I wouldn't make that my main reason for buying it. Both my MOB outfits never got worn again but it didn't matter it wasn't the point of buying them. I hope its a great day.

Worry about what you are wearing and not others.
Such problems some people have!

Totally agree with granny haggis, fat pants! will help keep everything under control especially as the day goes on, we’ve just had a wedding too, it is really hard finding a dress, go to the dressy shops that specialise in mob wear and chances are someone else is wearing the same thing, then they know how much you paid, then you re thinking did I spend enough.
Essential to try it on and feel a million dollars in it, own it, like lots of others have said, make it your own with the accessories, pair of stylish comfy shoes, bag, jewellery.
Have a wonderful day

If the other person isn't going to be at your daughter's wedding why is it a problem?

I am a size 10 and it is simply wrong to assume that the same clothes will automatically look better on them.

I was once trying on an outfit in a communal changing room and was disappointed with the way it looked. Then another person walked in about a size 14 and tried on the same outfit. \it looked 100 times better on her. We laughed at having the same good taste and then I said - quite truthfully - "Oh, so that is how it is supposed to look"!!!

If you love the outfit and don't want to spend time searching for another one, go ahead and wear it at your daughter's wedding.