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Or even a bit precious? Mother of the Bride outfit.

(108 Posts)
MarionHalcombe Wed 10-Jan-18 18:58:18

My daughter gets married later this year , I haven't bought anything yet as I need to shift the Christmas pounds, however I have found exactly what I want. I shared the website of the shop with my closest friend who in turn shared it with a mutual friend who is also due to be a mother of the bride after me.
As you can guess she now also wants a dress from this shop, which is very limited in its stock.

So my aibu or precious questions are...

I don't want her to get a similar outfit as she will look better than me, I'll be trying on my size 14 picturing her in her size 10 and feeling dispirited.

I'd rather she not know how much I've paid - there aren't any exact prices on there.

And finally I was hoping not to tell anyone what i was wearing but the style will be known if not the colour.

As I've written that I think that I may be being a bit over precious. Opinions? Thanks.

MissAdventure Wed 10-Jan-18 19:05:39

Honestly? Precious. smile

Iam64 Wed 10-Jan-18 19:06:32

I've never been a fan of Big Weddings. One of my daughters had a BW some years ago and I found myself a somewhat reluctant MOB.
I chose an outfit that didn't leave me looking like the Lady Mayoress and in which I felt comfortable.

It's up to you of course, what course of action you choose to follow and I do accept that being MOB brings its own pressures. Yes I do think you're being a bit over precious but I do sympathise. Have you watched Frozen, I have grandchildren of a certain age so I've seen it more times than I can count. The key song LET IT GOOO, LET IT GOOOO provides good advice in many situations x

tanith Wed 10-Jan-18 19:08:13

In the bigger picture who will actually care? It's not as if it's the same wedding ?

Niobe Wed 10-Jan-18 19:10:05

I don't think you are being over precious at all. The wedding of a beloved child is a very important occasion in any ones life. I had already bought one outfit when my husband suggested we were too early to get a train home so we might as well go into a few more shops to kill some time. You can probably guess where this is going because I saw 'The One' in the next shop we entered and ended up buying it too.
If you haven't yet bought an outfit just carry on looking and this time don't share it with anyone.

MarionHalcombe Wed 10-Jan-18 19:12:48

Iam64, it's not really a big wedding?

willsmadnan Wed 10-Jan-18 19:19:08

Has anyone actually told you it's the bride's day? You're supposed to be witnessing your daughters wedding, not strutting the catwalk.

tessagee Wed 10-Jan-18 19:20:48

I've been mother of the bride once and mother of the groom three times and can honestly say I've never liked any of the outfits that I ended up wearing but if I were you I'd keep on looking. There's still lots of time and new stocks arrive regularly. Good hunting!

janeainsworth Wed 10-Jan-18 19:23:53

For my two DDs weddings I bought dresses from Coast.
Thousands of other women must have bought them too.
Was I bothered? No.
It sounds as though you’re jealous of the mutual friend’s size 10 figure.

janeainsworth Wed 10-Jan-18 19:26:23

With any ‘outfit’ it’s not the dress that’s all that important.
It’s what you wear with it and the accessories that you choose that make it personal to you.

Iam64 Wed 10-Jan-18 19:32:19

I described our family wedding as big because it was a more formal do than had ever happened with family and friends previously. It had half the guest list of many other weddings we've been involved with in recent years.

MarionHalcombe Wed 10-Jan-18 19:38:49

I'm very envious of anyone with a shape that looks good, size 10 or 20. I've lost almost 2 stone but am not a good shape if you know what I mean.

I do know that it's her day, she's going to be a radiantly happy and beautiful bride, that doesn't mean that I don't want to feel good in myself on the day and when I look back on photos.

Feelingmyage55 Wed 10-Jan-18 19:38:52

Probably off the point but I never remember people's outfits only happy faces and happy atmosphere. I do worry about what I wear though which maybe doesn't add up.

Eglantine21 Wed 10-Jan-18 19:44:08

1. You will look better at size 14 than she will at size 10. Truly. Work those curves!

2. It doesn't matter if people know what you paid. Your money!

3. There's only really six basic styles in women's clothes. It's the accessories that make or break. Really work on those.

Wear the outfit you love with confidence. ?

lemongrove Wed 10-Jan-18 20:51:42

Just avoid the MOB look, it’s ageing.
Being a vision of pale blue etc just isn’t me ( have had a few weddings under my belt now! grin and went for things that suited me and suited the time of year.Clothes that I could wear again at no huge cost either.I felt ‘me’ and relaxed.

paddyann Wed 10-Jan-18 23:14:14

I agree with LEMONGROVE I've been MOB twice and wore things that I could wear again in fact I have a jacket thats now 16 years old from D's 1st wedding that I still wear now and again .I bought from high st retailers dress and jackets that could be worn together or seperately in colours that I wear a lot .Anything ellse would have been a total waste of money .The only proviso when choosing MOB is making sure MOG doesn't wear the same colour as far as I'm concerned ..its a bit like all the men wearing the same kilt .Looks like a unifrom ..or a pipe band .lol

Jalima1108 Wed 10-Jan-18 23:16:28

The only things I didn't keep were the shoes!

MawBroon Wed 10-Jan-18 23:33:17

Precious? Where do you get that from?
If you want an entirely unique outfit, you will have to pay couture prices.
Who is to say she will look better than you?
Will lots of the same people be at both weddings?
Don’t be a dog in the manger , it’s a free country and she has a perfect right to turn up in a puce miniskirt or a bin bag if she so pleases.

Coolgran65 Wed 10-Jan-18 23:43:09

I've done 4 weddings. None were typical MOB or MOG. One was a soft falling trouser outfit from M & S. Others were ankle length, and one was worn twice as I liked it so much. Lots of the same people were at the two weddings where I wore the same outfit. I just changed the jewellery. Wear what you love and walk tall.

Maggiemaybe Thu 11-Jan-18 00:52:21

I've been MOB three times, and the third time, after a couple of fruitless shopping trips, ended up wearing a dress that I knew I'd love and feel great in because I'd bought and worn it the previous NYE. smile It sounds as though you've found your own perfect outfit, and that's all that matters. Why worry about what other women choose to wear at other weddings?

WilmaKnickersfit Thu 11-Jan-18 01:34:21

MarionHalcombe I don't think you're being precious, just human.

I can imagine how you feel and if it were me, I would try on the outfit and if it's everything you imagined then buy it. If it's not perfect or you're not going to be able to put out of your mind the image of the other woman wearing it, then I think I would look for something else.

DevilsDumplings Thu 11-Jan-18 04:13:52

Crumbs. I thought it was the Brides special day. The shop sells to whom ever wishes to buy. It’s not exclusive to you.

Take your focus away from yourself and place it on the Bride. It’s about her not you.

I’m sure whatever you wear you look great !

suzied Thu 11-Jan-18 09:01:15

I’d worry if it was the same wedding , but a different wedding? It’s later this year which gives you a lot of time to think about it. I made my own outfits for my childrens’ weddings, so I knew no one else would be wearing the same thing. One was navy blue, the other dark fuschia, so no MOB pastels. You could hire a seamstress to make you an outfit if you want something special.

PamelaJ1 Thu 11-Jan-18 09:14:55

Can’t get my head around these MOB outfits.
I’ve been MOB twice and went out of my way to buy something I looked fabulous in?but were wearable later. Like Jane one of mine came from coast the other from a small shop in town. I still wear both. I do find that cutting edge fashion is sooo over rated!

Pamaga Thu 11-Jan-18 09:49:02

You're not going to be at the same wedding are you? Why worry? Why should a size 10 look better than a size 14 anyway? I wouldn't say you are being 'precious' but I think you are worrying over nothing. Buy a dress you like that you will feel comfortable in. What does it matter if someone at a later wedding buys something similar? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery after all. Enjoy the wedding x