Son in law travelling while my daughter is expecting baby

Lots of people are in this position. My DH was in the Royal Navy and away through most of my first pregnancy. All our family were 400 miles away. My mother came to stay the week before I was due and DH managed to get home at the last minute (200 miles), he was then called back to his ship a week later (after mother had gone back home). Everything was fine. I'm sure your DD will be fine, with your support.

Yes, you are being VV UR. I didn't read your post properly the first time and presumed SIL's promotion meant he would be away for several weeks if not months.
For cryin' out loud, where's he going... in search of the source of the Amazon?
I can't believe anyone could be so mean to their AC (and that comes from the original 'Hardhearted Hannah' as far as my offspring are concerned)
Transverse pregnancy??? My last baby went through 360 degrees on a weekly basis. Get a grip do !
Why did you agree to do so much for them in the first if you aren't prepared to go the extra mile.place?
... and more

Please don't argue with your daughter. Keep your opinions on their arrangements to yourself, it's not your business.

There isn't anything to say who started the argument. They can spring up from anywhere. I wouldn't like it to be assumed that I would take up the slack, either. That said, a discussion would have been the way to go, before son in law accepted the job.

I think starting an argument with your heavily pregnant daughter wasn't very nice. If she goes into labour I daresay she could phone for an ambulance.

Gosh I don't want to sound judgemental but I wouldn't dream of arguing with my DD being heavily pregnant. Transverse baby or not. Just saying.

another here who didnt have much input from my OH when I was pregnant as he was building a business for OUR security .That was our choice and I took my babies to work with me ,one at 8 days old.Sometimes work HAS to come first ,sad ..but unavoidable ,and as its a new job I wouldn't expect he'll get paternity leave either so if you aren't prepared to help you'd better let them know now so they can make other arrangements.In a perfect world it would all be different I'm sure ,we're a long way from that

Did you want the sil to ask your permission to change his job ?
If you are so resentful of having to do school runs and other things then why do you do it and why on earth did you argue with your heavily pregnant daughter who probably now knows she cannot rely on you if she needs to in the next few weeks .
I think you behaved in an incredibly irresponsible way towards her .
Unreasonable ...yes you are .

I don't understand why you've argued with your daughter about this. What's done is done and maybe your D and SIL are playing the long game regarding job situations in the future.

If you don't want to help out then you must tell them asap so that they can make other arrangements.

Has SIL been motivated to change jobs by arrival of second baby therefore thinking long term about the the family's prospects? Did the young family move close to you for support and did you encourage that - and you were a little younger then. Will your SIL take some leave when DS2 arrives. Think about the answers. Think also about the positives and the important part you play in DD's life. Now is not the time to discuss this with her but mull it over quietly with OH. Emotions will be running high and it is best to keep calm and carry on as normal for now. Emotional worry will not be good for DD. Knowing the baby is transverse, while concerning, means that the medics are well aware and will be looking out for her - better than not being prepared. The time will perhaps come when the extent of your role is reviewed, calmly, I hope. I have a feeling that once baby arrives safely and you are less worried about mum and baby you will feel more positive. I wish I had had a mum as supportive as you are. You sound wonderfully supportive, just needing to know you are not being taken for granted. I hope youwill update us.

This makes me wonder how I ever managed with DH being away for months on end with work and no parents nearby to help, although they did come to stay when I was due. Does your DD work as well; is that why you have to help out so much? I could not have worked outside the home at that time but I know that so many young mothers have to do so these days to make ends meet.

Perhaps your SIL saw an opportunity with work that he just couldn't turn down although the timing is not the best.

Be kind to your DD, she does need your support and will probably be unhappy if you criticise her husband. It's a difficult one, perhaps if she is not working she will have to learn to organise herself and cope, if she does work then you may need to have a frank talk later on before she returns after maternity leave if you feel you can't continue to offer so much support.

But I don't think that now is the time, at the end of a difficult pregnancy.

I don't think it is up to you to comment on their domestic arrangements. Sorry but you probably don't know all the reasoning behind him taking the new job, they may well have made a joint decision.

Yes, you probably are being taken for granted but have you told your DD how you feel about that? How did this situation come about? They may think you like helping out as much as you do. They are lucky to have you but not if you are so full of resentment.

Now is not the time to discuss this with them, there is far too much going on.

Difficult one. If this was a chance for promotion then I can understand him changing jobs. It’s unfortunate that he has to travel for work at the same time as the birth is due. But this happens sometimes. I’m sure you’ll be able to support your daughter and hopefully his travels won’t keep him away too long. Please look forward to your new grandchild and don’t fall out with your daughter.