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Why are we no longer ‘sad’ ?

(9 Posts)
Whethertomorrow Thu 29-Oct-26 15:47:47

When I was reading about Prince Harry (not a bash at him) saying he was depressed for 2 weeks after leaving UK for Canada it started me thinking about being sad as opposed to depression.

Nobody seems to say ‘I was sad about…’ anymore. It’s always ‘I’m depressed’. I always thought depression was a long term thing where there is no light in your life, it’s hard to function and every day is a complete struggle. My poor BIL was depressed for years and ended up hanging himself because he couldn’t cope. That to my mind was depression.

When my husband died after 7 years of stage 4 cancer, I was devastated and sad, very sad but I don’t think I was depressed. Perhaps I’m hard headed but I had to keep going and fighting to get things done.

I’m sure grief is experienced differently for everyone but does describing it as sadness or depression make a difference to how you feel.

Does saying “I’m sad about X” make people regard you differently than if you say “I’m depressed about X”. Would they try to cheer you up, be kinder, softer to you, more amenable towards situations if you were sad rather than depressed?

Has depression become so common place that people almost dismiss it as a nothing really wrong diagnosis, much like a backache complaint is dismissed as malingering?

Just my own muddled thinking on a damp dull afternoon. I would love to hear your thoughts if you’d care to share them. Thanks for reading.

MartavTaurus Thu 29-Oct-26 16:14:50

I don't know, but I'd say depression is bigger and longer lasting than sadness. Sadness is probably a part of it, but it is not all consuming and not destructive.

I guess we can only measure it by our own experiences, and although I have been immeasurably sad on a couple of occasions, I have never been depressed, and I would never play any cards to get sympathy.

JenniferEccles Thu 29-Oct-26 16:16:06

I have been thinking this for a long while now.
You are quite right. Nobody describes themselves as sad, miserable, feeling down or unhappy. They always claim to be depressed.

I guess people feel it carries more weight in that they have a ‘condition’ which requires treatments, usually antidepressants, a sick note off work along with benefits.

Of course it goes without saying that true depression must be awful, and people suffering from it long term most definitely do need help, but there are certainly far too many others who have jumped on the mental health bandwagon, probably because it can’t be disproved.

MT62 Thu 29-Oct-26 16:28:32

I feel sad when I walk round parts of my town, one part that I partly grew up in, to see the state of the streets. I feel sad at what has happened to the people that took such great pride in their homes.
I think if I dwelled on it too much I would become depressed.

Sago Thu 29-Oct-26 16:32:22

You make a really good point.

I have been severely depressed 3 times in my life, I have been sad hundreds of times.

I find it very upsetting perhaps even insulting when people use the term depressed instead of sad.

CarrotTop Thu 29-Oct-26 16:36:21

Yes, I hadn't thought about that but it's true, few people want to be seen as merely "sad" now. It's almost as though sadness isn't bad enough, we have to turn it into a life-changing incapacity in order for it to count. Maybe part of the trend is due to every other tv show being followed by an advice line link: "If you or anyone you know has been affected by the poor stricken Bake-Off contestant dropping her sponge cake on the floor, here's a phone number . . ."
It's almost as though we're being systematically trained up to think like victims and, yes, it does grate a bit. I was brought up to know that bad things happen and we have to get on with life anyway. That's not real depression, though, and I don't think it does genuinely depressed people any favours by pretending it is.

MartavTaurus Thu 29-Oct-26 16:37:55

MT62 I think it's good here to give tangible examples of out sadness, so others can see how deeply we feel. You have to face that sadness in your environment every day

I'm currently back at our house in Cornwall where our young dog should be with us on holiday, but he tragically died in July. I'm beyond sad, I've cried on the beach and in the shower, but I likewise am not going to dwell on it too much, I don't want to be depressed.

Jaxjacky Thu 29-Oct-26 16:38:23

I use sad, fed up, a little down to describe how I feel sometimes as opposed to happy, glad or cheered.
Don’t think I’ve ever said depressed.

Sar53 Thu 29-Oct-26 16:40:04

Sago I totally agree with you. I too have been severely depressed in the past. Hospitalised twice.
I wouldn't wish depression on anyone , it is the most dreadful feeling and I don't ever wish to return.
Feeling sad is so very different.