Gransnet makes me feel lonely

I often feel the same Jam, quite often my comments on a thread are ignored and it can feel a bit hurtful, but I try not to take it personally as it's not deliberate.

I find when I actually ask a question or ask for help, people are really good and try to help. Maybe you were just unlucky with your thread, last time.

I do understand how you feel, and I think that's why there are a huge amount of lurkers who have perhaps tried once or twice and been put off posting. Why not make the effort for one month to post more, just small comments etc, and see how you feel then?

Hello jams, its odd, isn’t it, how we can feel excluded from something that is, well, virtual. We can’t reach out and touch it but it has the same impact as a group of people in a real life situation. You really aren’t alone. I can acknowledge many of the feelings you describe in myself from time to time. It’s easy to overlook a post, not deliberately but through busyness or preoccupation, rare for it to be deliberate. Please don’t give up, keep posting, you’ll feel more comfortable soon I’m sure.

I've regretted some things I've said and felt a bit stupid and that's when I'm glad it's anonymous but on the whole it's fun to post and I think most people are very welcoming, don't be afraid to say what you think, keep it lighthearted and def avoid the hardcore arguers but don't feel lonely, you've taken the first step in joining so enjoy the company!

Yes jamsidedown, I know exactly how you feel. In the past I have felt ignored and annoyed at how cliquey some of the threads can feel. Some posters can be pretty horrible too, especially on the politics threads.

I have avoided the site for periods of time but I do find occasional threads are interesting and some posters are genuinely knowledgeable so I come and look when I have time. I read through the live threads and occasionally I post if I think I have something helpful or useful to say. I've taught myself not to expect a response and not to care too much if I don't get one.

I think of it now as like a small town cafe where a hardcore bunch of people who know each other well will barely look up when you enter the room. A few kinder souls may be willing to converse but if they're not sure how long you're staying they may not bother unless what you have to offer is scintillating!

I imagine that spending a lot of time on the site means that eventually one gets known and accepted. It's a bit like real life! I hope you've got other avenues for making contact with people because I do agree that relying on a forum, this one included, can leave you feeling lonely. I believe some threads are supposedly friendlier than others but I haven't investigated enough to discover which ones. All the best.

'Ello 'Appy

Hard is'nt it jams. Yes I often feel like you but don't feel it is anything to do with gransnet just my own lack of confidence. Silly I know when you can be anonymous on this site. Huggs from another loner.

Hi jamside - I just had a scootch round to find the earlier thread you started (about volunteering) and had a wry smile as the reason I didn't spot it at the time is because I spent the whole of Tuesday with a homeless chap, in my role as a voluntary caseworker for a homeless charity.

Don't be put off because you didn't get a response - keep posting and people will get to 'know' your online persona and hopefully you won't feel lonely here for long.

I don't post all the time but dip in and out and generally like browsing. Do give it another go most posters are nice and when someone is in genuine distress there is a lot of empathy and support. You may have just been unlucky with your previous topic. Welcome !

Hi Jams. I have started threads that didn't take off, have posted a comment that has stopped the thread, and, worst of all, started a thread where people disagreed/challenged me. That made me feel stupid and careful about future posts. But, somewhere along the line, I have felt more comfortable and feel as if I have an equal place on GN. I still don't post often, but only because someone else has said what I also felt. If ever you need support, you will not be lonely. You will have all the regular posters and more. You will have seen that if you've been lurking. I think you will attract many posts now!

Hi Jamsidedown I’m sure a lot of people feel like that about GN. Very few people responded to a thread I started probably because the topic was quite a serious one and generally (with a few notable exceptions) people on here prefer either the trivial or the downright contentious. An exception is if you are in genuine pain and hurt, then you may well get lots of support.

But generally most like to talk about themselves.

If you want a reply then if you can be deliberately provocative that should do the trick. Though of course you may not like the replies, but better than being ignored???

I’d suggest you jump right in and start posting.

Welcome.

I think there are people using the site that have known each other for years, in person in some cases, but everyone is friendly. Some people know all about other members families, and so on, but its just because they've used the site for a long while. Hello, by the way!