MawBroon Oh my dear Girl! I am so sorry! I thought Paw meant your 'Pa' as in father. No, I'm still quite new, so I haven't read anything about you. You must be in dreadful pain. Like yours, my husband died very suddenly. He was in his mid 50s, it was 11th November, so when poppies come around I can never stop feeling the pain. My husband died before my parents, and it was long ago, but it is like yesterday in so many ways. I'm so very sorry for you MawBroon and I do hope my replies, which were quite "teacherish" as I tried to get through my first experience of explaining the first discussion I initiated, did not hurt you. I thought you were just being extra feisty! I really am so very sorry for any pain I may have caused, I would not have done it for the world. I was also very wobbly about the email and her sarcasm because it happened at my own mother's funeral, so, I learned of his death, was derided, all while waiting for the hearse with my mother's coffin. Probably it combines to be bigger than it really ought to be. I honestly think now I've talked to everyone, I can get over it now. I really did forget why I didn't see the email, that it came from their business address. It was by chance my DD phoned and I asked her if she remembered anything about it and she said. It's of no matter now. What matters is that you take care of yourself. They say it's hard the first year, but you need to be extra kind to yourself for the rest of your life in my experience. Let's be friends. We have something so big in common. Who cares about my stupidity over an email? Take care of yourself and really, I am sorry if I hurt you. With much love