AIBU to expect my daughter not to be fined

My children all had 2 weeks off school each year for holidays throughout their primary education - looking at the heap of qualifications they now have, it clearly did them no harm. We used to take them to France each year and they learned lots about language and culture as well as having a good time.

As weddings are cheaper on weekdays, there are 12 weeks of school holidays which could be considered over term time.

I believe that the head can take in the child’s current attendance record in the decision whether to fine or not so I suspect he is taking a hard line to stop any arguments and discourage other parents from taking their children out.

Most schools do very little important coursework in the last week before the end of term so I don’t think it would be harming her education to take a couple of days off at the end of July.

I think the fact that this carries a criminal record is deeply wrong and should only be reserved for persistence absence after all other avenues have been pursued. It affects the relationship between school and parents. It should be left to the discretion of the Head especially for an odd day or two. The same arguments aren’t used when schools are cloased for a little snow.
My GCs’ school is very lenient, esoecially for family reasons.
My niece’s Primary aged children in Quebec are being allowed a whole term off without any problem to go travelling around the world in the autumn.

The Head can make concessions, and family weddings abroad are usually accepted. I have twice seen this happen at my Garandsons school to both him and his friend.

My great nephew in Scotland is to be allowed to have several weeks' absence in April to visit his granny in New Zealand. For long haul trips like that, it's so much cheaper for parents to take children before they are old enough to pay an adult fare. And there's not much point in taking children to the Southern Hemisphere in our summer.

The state is taking over family life, undermining parents and causing needless worry to people.

Traveller friends went away before Christmas and came back end of Feb and the school says not a word, as it is 'part of their culture'.

We need to stand up for our own culture a bit more.
A child's place is within its family, we are already told what they must wear and eat.

Many parents find that due to work demands they cannot get holiday dates together, or in school break times, are they to forgo family holidays then?

The Human Rights Act states we have a right to family life, we need to ensure that doesn't just apply to perverts who don't want to be deported, but is also there to allow us to have rights of passage and normal family life.

Memories are very important to life and psychological well being over a lifetime.

Pay the fine and deduct it from that other racket 'school funds'. parents are too slow to exercise the powers they have left. Schools work for us, not we for them. The lack of respect shown to parents is an epidemic now.

Parents prop up the school with their support, we don't have to do that.

I was in school in the 50's we managed well enough with one book between 2 or even 3 children, very few other resources and cold classrooms. Teachers now really do need to address their own value, they have become little dictators.

I know children in our village school who had a couple of days off for family wedding and were not fined. It is arbitary and unfair.

Is it possible that they think it's not a "close enough" relative. It's your daughter's sister in law.. So that makes it your granddaughter's aunt. Maybe they look at this sort of thing. Especially now with so many blended families.

The arbitrariness of the decisions is indeed unfair.

But I do not think the teachers' values are wrong; they just have OfSted on their backs about every tiny detail of school life. Their values , which are in the main sound, count for nothing.

On the subject of text books, the two GC who are at secondary school and have no text books at all! I guess that makes their bags a bit lighter, but there is nothing like having a book to delve in, to go off at a tangent and explore what is within the pages. They get photocopied sheets of individual chapters/topics to take home.

The head of my grandchildrens school is not allowed to give permission for holidays so when requested permission is always denied BUT she has discretion with fines and provided permission was requested no fines are imposed. Fines are however imposed if no permission was requested and the school becomes aware that absence is due to holidays. It always seems a very anomolous state of affairs to me.

It is annoying and any good headmaster would be flexible but the best way is just for her to have two days off feeling ill! Not a problem when teachers want extra training days is it? I bet some of them are ‘ill’ on those days or still away on holiday.

Fines are disproportionately heavy on poor families and head teachers do have some leeway. Why should parents who can afford a fine, be allowed to flout the rules what example is that for children?

I also abhor the 'non uniform' days when you can pay to go to school and wear your ordinary clothes, in order to support a charity of the school's choice. For a family with 3 children that is quite a slice of a low budget, another way of showing that rules are there to be broken, if you have the money.

Children learn bullying in school from the teachers. They are weeded out for attention if their family is poor, or neglectful, and then subjected to subtle but damaging treatment. We have now institutionalised buy your way around the rules just to make it official.

Apparently £24 million pounds worth of fines were collected last year for absences in school time in England and Wales. (Including truancy and term-time holidays)
But some authorities didn’t impose any fines at all.
How fair is that?
It’s a crazy rule. The last two days off in the last week of term means they might miss a class party, a video and a Final Assembly, but very little more.
Holidays and big family celebrations have major educational and emotional significance to children and build important childhood memories.

GracesGranMK2

You've misread the OPs question.
The child in question is the grand-daughter of the OP and the woman getting married is the sister-in-law of the OP's daughter. In other words, the soon to be bride, is the sister of the OP's daughter's husband.

If everyone expected their child to be excused when it's not a case of illness, then classes would be all over the place and school attendance is important when schools are rated.
Could you stay to look after the child and take her to school whilst the parents attend the wedding?

I'm totally against lying...about anything.
Imagine this...the child goes to the wedding after the mother say's she's not well in order to dodge a fine but the school know it's a lie. When back at school, a teacher or another child might ask if she's better and poor child might blurt out the truth or not say anything. It teaches children that there are lies and there are lies. They can't differentiate.
I always taught my children that lies are far worse than admitting that you did something wrong and they received a heavier punishment for lying to cover up rather than telling the truth, however awful it might seem.
I'm probably on my own her but I don't care. The truth is what matters because it's aligned with trust.

Another stupid law. Definitely time to have a sick day.

Best not to ask, just do it. It's amazing here, where I live just how many children have tummy upsets etc. on the last days of term.

The problem is that missing lessons puts children behind and their teachers are pressurised by OFSTED and management to ensure the missed lessons are compensated for. The child's compromised performance is also recorded in school exam data which affects the school's reputation and funding.

Having said that, if you don't care then have the time off and pay the fine.

Personally, my solution would be to get OFSTED and management off the teachers' backs and allow some leeway.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

My Grandson ended up on a red warning cos he dared to catch chicken pox, and the very day he was going back produced another spot. Some of these rules are unsafe medically.

Wow quite a bit of anti-teacher feeling here! The teaching staff have nothing to do with it. It's the head and governors who make decisions, and no, the teachers do not take time off on day closures! They have a certain number of professional devt hours in a year, and have to record how they're spent.
Having a child miss a day of lessons, when the other pupils are in school is nothing like a day closure when the teacher just makes up the work across the next week or two's lessons.
Sorry if I sound cross, but .... there is so much misrepresentation of what goes on in schools these days.
I suggest mum asks school for the absence pro-forma, fills it in, writes a formal letter to the head asking for a day off, quoting daughter's attendance percentage (it should be on her report), explaining her aunt wants her to be a bridesmaid, that it's the first big family get-together since daughter was little, and sends a copy of the form and letter to the chair of governor and if that doesn't work, a copy of both to the Local Authority

Forgot to mention the anti-traveller feeling. I used to work in a school with a substantial traveller community. I genuinely don't remember any bother in the ten years I was there.

Good grief, the school shuts for the summer the very next day. It’s not like the middle of exams and the little girl is going to be a bridesmaid. The head teacher does have a certain amount of discretion and he should use his common sense here. I’ve worked in schools and believe me, not a lot of work goes on in the last few days of the summer term. Many schools close early on the last day as well. The HT is being totally inflexible and is not looking at each individual case on its merits.

Theadvice from the NAHT on what might be considered exceptional scircumstances says Absences for important religious observances are often taken into account but only for the ceremony and travelling time, again, not for extended leave. This is intended for one-off situations rather than regular or recurring events.
In other words your DGD might be allowed one day , but not 2
It is crazy and has effectively removed choice from the teacher who would know the child best