To not tell them yet?

We all need support in times of worry so please tell them ASAP ?

Tell them, and apologize for your reactions but most importantly, don't lose any time you have with your grandchildren. You may be well, but then you may not be, but you don't want to give them the impression you were a difficult granny because they will only remember how you were with them not the reasons you had for your behaviour! This may sound blunt but let your nearest and dearest in and let them experience giving their love and understanding rather than putting the barriers up. My very best wishes for a good outcome.

Your DDs know something is wrong and upsetting you so they react by stopping you from seeing your Dgs? This is mean and unkind. Tell them what the problem is and that it has been particularly upsetting to not see your Dgs.

Clearly your DDs would rather know what's wrong, and I would hope give you lots of support.

Hope all goes well on Wednesday

Your children are all 15 years older than the last time you were seriously ill, so things are different on that score. Your numb reaction is common, it's a shutting down of emotion to enable you to cope. You did have the awful experience of your ex buggering off last time, maybe you think your children will do that this time round? I thought it dreadful at first that you are being blackmailed (or is it bribed?) into telling them by GC visits being withheld, but maybe that's just a marker of how desperate they are to all know the truth and it's the best way they can think of to get to it.

Best of luck - stupid expression I know but can't think of a sensible one in the circs - and let us know. (flowers)

Tell them , I have just gone through the same thing and told my family only the night before my clinic appointment. They were so upset saying I didn`t give them the chance to arrange to come with me etc.

I got the all clear, I hope you do too but in trying to protect your family you can really upset them.

Blueskies that's awful and wonderful in one sentence!!!
Joelsnan ⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘
Sunshine ⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘ for you too. Very brave to share something you wanted to keep private. It sounds like your dd wanted to shock you into telling her by withholding you dgc.
I'm pleased that you have the offer of support Wednesday if you want it. Good luck ⚘⚘

ps. Maybe we should start a FBC forum?

Hi sunshine, I did the same as you, and got the same reaction. "I can't bring dgd over until I know what's going on with you". It's understandable, really. You suddenly start acting weird and secretive - are you having a mental breakdown? (that's what they are thinking). I have FBC (F...g Breast Cancer), still waiting for the surgery and treatment. I know when I got the diagnosis I really really missed my mom, who has been dead for 16 years. We didn't even have a close relationship. But it was her I wanted to talk to.
Good Luck. We are on the same journey. PM me any time.
M

I am a breast cancer survivors as I am sure many other gransnetters are.

One of the things my DH use to say was, 'you don't know how terrible this is for me'. My thought was ' it is not so good for me.' Then my DD was diagnosed and I could see what he meant. It is often more distressful for those looking on than those in it. My DD going through treatment was far worse than when it was happening to me.

I can imagine why your DDs are angry and worried. Please tell them asap and let them support you. If you want to go on your own for the appt ok and I am not sure if you will get the results then but may have to wait a week so if you don't tell them in that week your relationships could get worse and you will not be seeing your dgc.

I know this is an awful time and not a time to be falling out with family.

I am so sorry you are goung through this worry, hopefully it might not be as bad as you fear
My daughter had similiar symptoms to yours, it turned out to be an abccess, [sp]
I would tell your daughtetrs so they can at least support you, and they will only worry more imagining what you are going through
Good luck for a positive,[or negative ] outcome, whichever way you look at it,

Tell them! They are probably going mad worrying about you and cross that you won't tell them what's wrong. It isn't fair on them or you!

Oh sunshine am so sorry you've got all this to worry about. Hopefully having now told your 'girls' you're feeling less worried. A problem shared and all that! Though I confess I was feeling so cross with your daughter regarding no access to your GD and it was a huge relief reading your subsequent posts.
I hope it all goes well for you this week ?

Just tell them. They must suspect something is wrong, and all this stress is not helping your situation. You need to face it together, and then have a big celebration when all is well again.

Sunshine take someone with you if you can , I didn't hear a lot of what I was told and was glad my oh was with me as a second lot of ears . M children were aware I was going and I felt it made it easier when I had to say it was bc . Good luck for we'd and to all those going or starting treatment and if anyone wants to I don't mind them emailing me ?

I am so glad you told us. Think how many good wishes go with you on Wednesday now.

Tell them when you feel in a good place, sometimes we need to get our own balance first.

Please let us know how you get on.

Well done for telling them.I can understand why you didn't for a while,as it's often hard seeing them upset when you're worried yourself.
They knew you weren't yourself and were concerned about you.
Good luck for Wednesday,and I'm sure whatever you'll get through it,and family are with you all the way.

You have a duty to tell them / put the boot on the other foot and ask yourself how you would feel if you were locked out n this way - you’re denying them the opportunity to support you - why would you want to take that away from them?

Well done, I think by telling them what is going on in your life it can only help them to understand why things have been as they are. With a bit of luck and a fair wind your relationship with them should get better. Let one of them come with you, this is what family is for. Best wishes x

Fingers crossed everything turns out well and you and your DDs are back on track.

Please tell them. They might think you've been unfair in not telling them. They wouldn't have had a fall out with you if they'd known.

So glad to hear you told them, Sunshine, and the very best of luck on Wednesday.

If you decide to go alone, take paper and pencil with you, or ask if you may record the conversation on your phone, so you know what was said when you get home.

Ask too, if the hospital can give you details of a support group, if your worst fears are realised. It is an immense help to be able to talk to someone who has been through the same thing, and who is not family.

I think we instinctively try to protect our children from hurt or pain. When we have a medical problem we try not to worry them, if it turns out to be something serious that they then learn about they are hurt that we didn’t share our concerns so we haven’t protected them at all.
My mother always hid her worries from us but somehow it always showed, eventually we became exasperated by her perceived martyrdom and our sympathy lessened.
Consequently we always tell our children calmly and without drama if we have a concern, it doesn’t hurt to allow our children to feel concern and compassion and it helps us to have their emotional support when necessary.

My experience was different but I feel I must share it with you. My GP gave me bad news on a Monday. I kept it to myself waiting for a hospital appointment. On the Friday morning I had to tell my son as he was going to work abroad. His father died of cancer and my son cried. The first time I had seen him cry as an adult. At 2pm my GP phoned.Sorry she said it was a mistake. My notes were mixed up with another patient.

You must tell them, and now.

And report back to us later in the week please.