This is going to sound garbled so I'll apologise now but I promise I'll try to make it make sense by the end!
I was quite ill about 15 yes ago and I didn't tell anyone (my children) until I knew for definite what was wrong as I just don't like to worry them unnecessarily.
I have been worried recently, for the past few months, as I've had some of the symptoms of breast cancer- nipples going inverted, like they're being pulled inward and some pain in that area on my left breast.
Anyway, I eventually went to doctors last Friday and am due at the hospital on Wednesday for the tests and stuff (they told me to allow 4 hours for appointment)
This has obviously been on my mind and as far as I can tell I've been a bit quiet and not talked as much, or been as bubbly as usual.
I have not wanted to tell my kids anything until I know for sure, although I'm doubting the wisdom of that!
I had a big argument, starting over nothing really, with my DD, and I told her
'You wonder why I can't tell you anything when you're like this with me!'
Anyway, she told my other DD, although I'd asked her not to as I knew how she'd probably react!
So my other dd was mad at me too and said I cannot see the DGC until I tell them what's up, what I'm not telling them.
For me this is the really weird part. I feel kinda numb. I was very upset when she told me but now I just kinda tell myself no and I refuse to dwell on it but I know my heart would be breaking if I allows myself to think about it.
This kinda thing happened last time in a way (ex buggered off as he couldn't cope with my news)
And I didn't deal with any of that till months later.
So it feels like that's happening now, like I'm in shock.
I just cannot tell them until I know for sure.
I have been seeing my dgc every day, and now, nothing.
Don't know what I'm asking for, just wanted to get this out of my head!
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