Amazon wish list - yes or no????

But you dont know whats inside if you have a list! They could have chosen anything from the list or gone 'off list'! My heart sinks when it's an unknown present though as I have to arrange my face to a delighted smile in case I dont like what's inside. As others have said, we have always used lists in the family (at all prices) , long before Amazon. I'm always relieved when i am given suggestions for gifts for GC.

I have to agree that registries and lists make sense because they are practical.

There is something to be said however, about being presented with a beautifully wrapped box in ribbons (and me having absolutely no idea what's inside). It's the element of surprise that delights me the most!

When it was our first DGC's first Christmas we asked for some general ideas. Only to be told that all the presents had been bought and we could go to the house and choose one to give. Needless to say, but I will, DH and I were shocked, upset and downright angry. We'd been so looking forward to browsing round for something he would enjoy. The rug was pulled right out from under our feet. We couldn't express our real feelings as D in L has always been rapid to take offence. I think we said that we'd come and choose something if we didn't find anything first. Believe me we found something that day.?

Maybe I've got my rose-tinted specs on, but weren't presents so much more thrilling and special in the past when we all Just. Had. Less. Stuff? Before anyone thought that another present was what "the person who has everything" could possibly need.

I don't really understand the hatred of lists. They are not a new thing as they have always been a big thing in my family - my waste hating Granny (born in the 1880s) had us writing lists from the time we could write ... and would check the spellings

I would rather give a wanted gift than sometimg that is going to gather dust in a drawer, be regifted or sent directly to the charity shop.

But I guess it depends whether you know the person well enough to go off list. It makes me a little sad when people spend a lot of money on useless gifts - like perfume I'm allergic to or perhaps they are regifting

I wouldn't make a priced list like Amazon, but as I said preparing a wish list as guidance, where people are free to choose something on it or not and buy it where they will does seem sensible.

My lovely MiL was always buying us all things she thought we would like and we would thank her and a year later quietly donate it to charity. Even the children used to look askance at some of the things they got given. DS has never forgotten the beautiful, sweater, scarf and hat combo lovingly knitted in day glo orange. He was about 8 and would volunteer to wear it when she visited and always wore a coat over it if we went anywhere while he was wearing it.

Always ask for lists nowadays. I hate the thought of wasted money which is all an unwanted present is. But always insist that, "the list" encompasses all sizes of pocket book. If I look at a birthday or Christmas list and there isn't a good range of prices I contact the DC concerned and let them know that nothing will be bought until that state of affairs is rectified.

Cindersdad, maybe you could give them a wishlist of charities they can choose to donate to?
Maybe ones that provide a card to you saying that a goat or toilet, or whatever, has been bought.

Here's one to start you off
www.toilettwinning.org

This is wrong! I don't think we should encourage the sad culture of ME-ME-ME. How would a bunch of wild flowers and a big hug go down?!

I'm fed up with getting things I did not ask and do not want. Ungrateful perhaps but the local charity gets a Christmas Bonanza every year. I keep saying don't buy for me and I won't buy for you. Miserable so'n'so may be but you get to a certain age when you just don't want more things.

For my wife we get things throughout the year as we see things. For my children and grandchildren cash or vouchers. I don't expect them to get for me.

So pleased there’s still a few of us ....it’s just no fun and so impersonal and I totally agree Bohenminan it seems greedy and materialistic
It doesn’t mean you have to buy something your friend or relation doesn’t want you listen, you observe, you pick up hints. I don’t even mind someone saying I really like so and so but there is still that little element of will I get it or not left an Amazon list is so cold so lacking in love and care and so clinical
If I was you I d get an idea from the list then go buy it from a hands on shop do it up nicely What next ? hire someone to wrap them up for you or does Amazon do that too
Yuk not an ounce of feeling going into this way of present giving just your money

I’m with Boheminan and * Bluebelle*. I’m not comfortable with asking for gifts, far less making a list of things I want. I just think it seems a bit mercenary ( even though you know people will give a gift anyway) To me, a lot of the pleasure of receiving a gift is appreciating the thought and effort which went into it. I just like to keep my ears open for clues as to what would be appreciated.
When our children were young, we never did the ‘ letter to Santa’, just always told them that Santa always brought good things, and it would be a nice surprise, and, of course, the ears had been open for weeks before!

Lilyflower - yes, I like and love my daughter very much - it's Amazon wish lists I have a problem with

Millie8

Why on earth give jewellery if it would be put in a drawer?

Why not start making a list for your next birthday/anniversary/ Christmas and make sure that everything on the list is over £40?
See what she buys for you.
Two can play that game.

I get the impression from the posts that everyones house is full of 'stuff'. When I am asked what I want for Xmas I cant think of anything that I really need. I give cheques with tiny token presents that wont be wasted (chocs, flowers) as none of my family have the same taste as me or as each other. I get pleasure from giving them small unexpected gifts for no particular occasion so they know that I am thinking of them. Am not comfortable with materialism. They are all very happy with their cheques.

Crowdfund something your daughter really wants with others or give her cash as a contribution. Don’t buy her some gift she doesn’t want just to make a point.

Do you like your daughter?

We have hand written wish lists that we hand around for Christmas and birthdays. It spoils the surprise but as others have said,avoids the awkwardness of an unwanted pressie. As well as a pressie from the wish list, if she is sentimental, would she appreciate a small family heir loom, maybe a special photo or peice of jewellery that was her grandmothers? She doesnt have to wear it and it wont take up much space in a draw. Hope she wouldnt sell it though!

My daughter had always been ‘out there’ as far as fashion and presents are concerned . I have never got it right although she would never say so. She’s forty now and I asked her (started last year) to post in her Amazon wish list! Why would that upset anybody. I’d rather she had something she wanted then ‘pretend’ to like what I’ve gotten her. Anyway it works both ways ...once my kids were out of childhood , present buying has been agony.Long live the wish list. I do the same to my kids ...give them a list and they pick a pressie.

Give money towards something ....tell her this is given with love and is all you can afford !!!! Just had my 70th ...not even a card from the husband ! never mind, I did buy myself some perfume and flowers .....so I got what I wanted ! Oh, and a big mac for a treat !!!

If you don't want to buy something from the list you could buy the vouchers as suggested by others. My mother always ruined my birthdays as she handed over a gift she would say I know this isn't what you wanted but I like it ( she always thought she knew better! Grr)

I think it takes some of the enjoyment out of it, for those who like to choose things.
I wonder if everything will end up on a wishlist at some point?
Easter egg wishlists..

FarNorth. I'm struggling to put into words my feelings on this. Like BlueBelle the concept of people asking for wedding money, crowdfunding, etc, leaves me cold.

If there was an item on the wish list that I'd like to buy, then I would do so but it seems a sad state of affairs when a list has to be displayed in this way - I thought it was the sort of only royalty did! I'd much rather be given pointers, or a little personal written list. I think wedding lists have been around for a long time, but birthday lists somehow smack of greed. I wonder how those of us who are not computer literate (a bit like me, it took ages to work out how to find the list) fare? What's wrong with doing a bit of personal detective work to suss out what they'd like.

The OP hasn't said she can't afford the wishlist presents.

I understand your feelings, but presumably, you will be hurt when she exhibits no pleasure in the gift she didn't ask for but which you know she will like? If you can't afford the present she wants there is no point in buying something else just because you want to buy it - either club together with someone else or explain to her you can't afford what she has asked for and just send a nice card. She may be unaware of your financial restrictions and so has not included more affordable options.