Gransnet forums

AIBU

Amazon wish list - yes or no????

(63 Posts)
boheminan Wed 21-Mar-18 11:24:08

My daughter's 40th is coming up soon and I've been pointed to a 'Wish List' she's put online Amazon, giving clear instructions as to what she wants for presents.

This has been a regular feature within the family for a couple of years now - birthdays, Christmas, weddings, etc...what to buy for them? Well, look on their Amazon Wish List.

I enjoy choosing gifts, and in the past have stubbornly refused to comply with The List (usually I find the requested presents far out of my price range, or I have no idea what they exactly areconfused.). When they were little they used to write Father Christmas a present list, but this was for little things, like gerbil wheels - now I'd need to save up for a year before I could buy anything for them. My daughter's say the Wish List is an excellent idea because that way the recipient gets what they want (that's of course if I've managed to work out exactly what it is) rather than something that (to them) is useless.

I can feel the rebelling feeling tingling in my toes and I'm about to get on me bike and cycle into town to look for something I think she'll like for her birthday.

GN'rs - please stop me now if you think I'm doing the wrong thing (I need the exercise anywaygrin.

Oopsadaisy12 Wed 21-Mar-18 11:28:08

It seems a shame to spend out on a special 40th gift, if it isn’t something that your DD wants.
If it’s for anything less than £20 I’d say go into town and choose something, but any more than that and it would be a shame for it to end up in a Charity Shop.
Hate to say it, but maybe your taste isn’t the same now as your DDs?

Smithy Wed 21-Mar-18 11:36:20

What puzzles me is how did any birthday with 0 on the end become special? I spent my 40th starting a new job and told no one, family of course knew but it was just another birthday.
That said, I think I'd just go with the flow Bohemian, perhaps find something on the list that's reasonably priced.

gillybob Wed 21-Mar-18 11:44:23

As someone who has never had a special birthday in my life, I love that the young ones (and older people too) make a big deal out of their special day. mine was always "too near Christmas" etc.

As Oopsadaisy said, I think I would go with something your DD really wants bohemian . Sad if your present (however well chosen by you) was discarded.

stella1949 Wed 21-Mar-18 11:50:40

I know this isn't something we were brought up with....but at the end of the day. these wish lists ensure that the person gets something they want, and you don't waste your money on something they don't want. I get the feeling that you really are being a bit stubborn - insisting that you don't know what the items are for instance . Click on the item and I'm sure you'll get a description / picture etc. Select something that you can afford and go for it ! Maybe you'll like it once you try. Good luck !

M0nica Thu 22-Mar-18 11:45:31

In our family birthday/Christmas lists have always been the norm. However they have never been binding and I do not think anyone ever gets everything on it, or knows what they will get until the day. So the element of surprise is preserved.

There are times when you know of something the Listee wants and has not listed because they had forgotten or didn't think anyone could get, Other times one sees something that the listee would definitely love but never thought of. My Kindle was an unlisted surprise, but I have been wedded to it since I was given it.

Quite separately, I wouldn't buy anything from Amazon unless I had to. Not until they pay fair taxes. I would take details of the product and buy it elsewhere.

Marydoll Thu 22-Mar-18 11:49:12

I didn't know this about Amazon wish lists. If you put something on it and you don't buy it right away, they sometimes reduce the price to encourage you to buy.
It has happened to me on a few occasions.

Craicon Thu 22-Mar-18 12:26:39

I’ll admit I’m a fussy bugger.
I hate receiving presents that I then donate straight to the charity shop. Obviously, I thank the giver but inwardly sigh. As we live abroad I can’t take the gift back to the shop and it seems such a waste of effort on the part of the gifter.
Last year before Christmas, when he was asked for gift ideas, I told my DH to suggest Amazon vouchers.
Honour is maintained on both sides. 😉

boheminan Thu 22-Mar-18 12:35:15

Thanks for your guidance. I am stubborn and stall at being instructed what gift to buy, but do see the sense of buying something that will be appreciated. Has anyone else bought anything wish-listed? I feel unhappy with the idea of having what I have bought being publically ticked off the list. It still all feels so clinical somehow

FarNorth Thu 22-Mar-18 12:35:21

If you can't afford the suggested gifts, boheminan, have a quiet word with your DD and find out her attitude to a surprise gift.

It could be that after clicking on the link, one still doesn't understand what the gift is - I'm thinking electronic items - but one could just buy it anyway.

Maybe if the recipient then told you why they were thrilled to get that item, it would make up for not getting to choose something yourself.

pollyperkins Thu 22-Mar-18 12:52:23

My family do this and I always comply. It is much easier than going to a shop anyway (we dont live near any shops except food shops). If you select an item you can afford (even if you don't know what it is) just click on it, then put it in the 'basket' and pay. No-one knows who has bought it -thats the point really. She will see its disappeared from the list that's all _ this avoids duplication. You can ask for it to be delivered to you so you can gift wrap and deliver it yourself, or ask them to gift wrap it and send a message from you and they will deliver it straight there. Obviously you pay extra to gift wrap (usually they just pop it an an attractive draw string bag) but then you dont have to spend any extra money on posting it on.
On the other hand DH hates me using Amazon! But if I buy a 'surprise' present I'm in agonies of worry in case they dont like it, already have one etc. This removes the worry and hassle.

lemongrove Thu 22-Mar-18 14:34:13

We all have Amazon wish lists (in the family) Bo it not only makes it easy but we all get things that we want.I don’t constantly look at my list just update it from time to time so never notice when anything vanishes from view.I have quite a lot on there in all sorts of depts and the price varies from
£8.99 up to £35 but would never put anything more expensive than that on it.Happy hunting.😃

Grampie Fri 23-Mar-18 09:52:05

We must reduce waste. Amazon wish lists help us to do that.

...but let's tell our prospective gift givers about our favourite charities too.

NotSpaghetti Fri 23-Mar-18 10:06:10

My family use Giftster instead of Amazon to make our lists. We add little things (and big ones) to it whenever we get ideas and it allows you to say "something like this" without it having to be a specific item. My daughter has just added a big woven laundry basket on her list for example but the photo is of the sort of basket she likes, not the actual one.
I've also said things such as "new beach towels" without specific instructions as to the type. For these reasons I prefer it to Amazon.
Also, it doesn't let you see what people have bought for you and the items stay on the list till you remove them. Other people in your family can see the item's been bought or reserved (as it has a small symbol next to the gift) but not the list-maker.
It also sends you a message 3 weeks before a birthday as a reminder.
I love it.
Still lots of surprises, plenty of choice, no wasted, unwanted gifts and also no dupicates!

Skweek1 Fri 23-Mar-18 10:13:09

There are only 4 of us left - MIL (85), DH - severely disabled and not expected to have many years still with us, DS (35, with Aspergers Syndrome) and me. For birthdays and Christmas we always ask one another long in advance for a list of gifts across a range of prices and agree how much we can each afford. If a really expensive present is wanted/needed, we may club together to buy, but try to have a "stocking filler" type unexpected gift of some sort for each of us. That way, everyone gets what they really want. DH is usually easy, as he's a serious mathematician with a love of history and philosophy and always happy with advanced maths texts and history books. DS always asks for CDs, DVDs, Computer games and fantasy literature. MIL usually wants perfume or jewellery with a who-dun-it or two. I've generally absolutely no idea, but can usually come up with a computer game, CD or book, but suspect I'm the difficult one. It means that no matter what we suggest, we tend to get most of our wishes gratified.

Farrsan2003 Fri 23-Mar-18 10:27:06

Now my two daughters are all grown up I wouldn’t dream of guessing what they would like. Much prefer to have a few ideas and then know that they really love the present.

Chinesecrested Fri 23-Mar-18 10:36:38

We tend to just give cash which they can put towards something they really want. It has the added advantage of you being able to control the budget!

sarahellenwhitney Fri 23-Mar-18 10:37:59

Call me old fashioned but apart from a wedding list the words 'wish list' raises my hackles. I have always sent a cheque with what I can afford. Never had any objections
So far so good. grin

winterwhite Fri 23-Mar-18 10:54:19

I’d be biking into town too. Or sending flowers, if a DD. Don’t see birthdays as an occasion for giving or acquiring ‘stuff’, as with weddings or new babies. Like others I do keep a modest list wh I circulate once a year, and my three DDs compare notes. Last year my list included a pinky-brown lipstick, and by some failure to compare notes no doubt I received three lovely ones. What could be nicer?

gmelon Fri 23-Mar-18 10:54:28

Celebrate the gift of life life, the day of birth. The day another being opened their eyes to the world.
The day you and your daughter met each other.

Wish lists? No.
I'm not a warehouse ordering system, I'm a person .

Gifts are a joy to receive because it means that someone has cared. I'm not bothered what the item is, the fact is they thought enough of me to make the effort.
No need to use Birthdays etc as an opportunity to fill ones needs. I can buy myself the things I need.

Applegran Fri 23-Mar-18 10:56:00

As your daughter has been so clear that she wants you to choose from her wish list, doing something else may stir up her feelings a bit. "Mum , why don't you listen to what I really want?" is not going to make her birthday happy for you, and less happy for her. I understand about wanting to choose, but your relationship with your daughter is surely more important. And you don't have to know what the item is on Amazon - you can just click on it and buy it. But of course you should not be spending more than you can afford - though this is not the key issue here. Maybe staying off your bike and going along with what she has said she wants will make you and her happier in the end.

Gagagran Fri 23-Mar-18 11:18:49

I'd stick to the list but also buy her some flowers on the day.

My DD is very picky so we usually give her a voucher of her choice - M&S for Christmas just gone - but also a small something wrapped up. Maybe a necklace, a book, some perfume, a new toilet bag etc. It seems to work.

The DGD all ask please could they have cash or occasionally a clothes shop voucher. Again I give them something small to open on the day. It's certainly easier than searching for something they may not want or like!

Milly Fri 23-Mar-18 11:34:51

I give all my lot "boring money" as I put it but they are pleased with that so they can buy what they want rather than something they don't want that I buy them. Why don't you give her money towards things on her Wish List -- as you say some of the things they want these days are unintelligible to us.

Milly Fri 23-Mar-18 11:35:56

PS you could buy her a little something of your choice as well which is what I do with my daughters but don't risk it with grand daughters as their generation too far removed from me!

Grannybags Fri 23-Mar-18 11:42:09

I alway ask for a list of ideas of things they'd like for Christmas and birthdays as I'd rather buy something that I know is wanted. I do resort to "boring money" at times too.