I have a bit of a problem.
I have mentioned before MIL can't stand me and we have the proverbial 'difficult' relationship. I am always polite and pleasant to her when it's not possible for me to avoid her and I send the expected cards, gifts etc at the expected times.
She has twice monthly visitation at her house plus all holidays. H takes the littles up there (they are three and two). I am expecting again and there have been complaints that I am not coming on the visits "so she can see how gummy's pregnancy is going". I already see my obstetrician once every week so I am not willing to present myself for uterine inspection by MIL. I have told H to share whatever details he sees fit about my condition (I am high risk with multiple complications)
I continually reinforce to the littles that Granny loves them and that they will have a nice time seeing her this weekend/this holiday etc.
It's not working. They are adamantly refusing to go and have been physically carried out of the house kicking and screaming to go on these visits since Christmas time. I have tried accompanying them a few times to see if that helps but as soon as they know where they are going they have a meltdown. They refuse to be touched by the GPs and the youngest refuses even to speak to them.
H is infuriated by this and shouts and yells at them about this behaviour. I have told him this will only make it worse and he has tried to rein it in, but he seems to find this difficult. He becomes incredibly stressed over these visits and is very angry and quite verbally abusive to all three of us on any day he knows he is going to visit.
To preempt the next queation, I give him absolutely no grief about these visits and get the kids ready for them, so it is not like I am winding him up about going. He is unwilling or unable to tell me why he is so wound up, but historically MIL has used all his visits even pre babies to criticise his life choices re career, home, weight, the whole shebang. I am not sure if that is what is happening on these visits as I am u willing to trigger his rages by asking him and obviously asking the littles to report back is completely out of the question.
I have sat the littles down a couple of times without H there and explained to them that they have to go on these visits in the hope they would simply accept this happening and not protest about it. This is also not working.
Any advice on helping them get over this phase?
gummybears Sat 24-Mar-18 11:24:41
MissAdventure Sat 24-Mar-18 11:28:48
gummybears Sat 24-Mar-18 11:34:28
MissAdventure Sat 24-Mar-18 11:38:05
stella1949 Sat 24-Mar-18 11:38:16
Luckygirl Sat 24-Mar-18 11:41:30
eazybee Sat 24-Mar-18 11:41:33
MissAdventure Sat 24-Mar-18 11:43:57
gummybears Sat 24-Mar-18 11:50:08
MissAdventure Sat 24-Mar-18 11:55:56
sodapop Sat 24-Mar-18 11:57:31
gummybears Sat 24-Mar-18 12:02:12
MissAdventure Sat 24-Mar-18 12:07:49
OldMeg Sat 24-Mar-18 12:12:39
Luckygirl Sat 24-Mar-18 12:30:53
Dontaskme Sat 24-Mar-18 12:33:45
Dontaskme Sat 24-Mar-18 12:35:24
Luckygirl Sat 24-Mar-18 12:38:25
Dontaskme Sat 24-Mar-18 12:41:46
BlueBelle Sat 24-Mar-18 12:42:10
SparklyGrandma Sat 24-Mar-18 12:58:38
paddyann Sat 24-Mar-18 13:24:26
gummybears Sat 24-Mar-18 13:30:38
gummybears Sat 24-Mar-18 13:33:28
annodomini Sat 24-Mar-18 13:44:26