substance and alcohol abuse

Being addicted means that you are ready to die in a very short time. I know that 'cause I lost a friend. We felt really sorry that we couldn't help him. He was drug-addicted and no one could help him. We even tried to take him to the doctor but he always escaped. Recently I found a sitehttps://www.lifeline.org.uk/heroin-addiction/ that could help him. They are specialized in heroin addicts and as I understood from the reviews that are written on their site they helped a lot of people. You know sometimes I think that we didn't try enough to help our friend. Hope that now he feels better where he is...

Looks like a lot of people really have this problem, to be honest, I was always afraid of addictions, I think that people are showing their worst face...

I am lucky enough to have been guided into AA and work hard to maintain my sobriety. It is a disease and we say no human power can relieve us of alcoholism or addiction. We therefore believe AA is a spiritual program (not religious) and we decide to hand over out will to a higher power. It is willingness to do this not willfullness. The power must come from a high power and willpower is what keeps us addicted. It is much worse for the people around us and ALANON is a brilliant program to help us with this. The disease removes and destroys everything in its path. I watched my mum, dad and younger sister die horrible deaths due to the disease. I believe the chosen ones get into the doors of AA and that is very very few of us. May God heal your soul and suffering

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201808/medium-297492-logosunshine.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201808/medium-128194-rehabilitation-centres-in-india--sunshine-wellness-centre.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201808/medium-239224-drug-addict-rehabilitation-centre-in-mumbai-india--sunshine-wellness-centre.jpg

Hi..my name is Sarah. Today, I would like to share my experience dealing with drug and alcohol addiction at Sunshine Wellness Centre which is a is the premium Detoxification, Alcohol and Drug rehabilitation and psychiatric centre based a short distance away from the bustling city of Mumbai. To know more about this centre, visit: sunshinewellnesscentre.com/

This centre indeed gave me a second life, a second chance to relive! When I had mood swings and could not sleep at all, the doctors in the ICU with coordinate with psychiatrists to provide me with best medicine combinations with no time wasting and it worked all the time. There was also Yoga sessions to improve self-control.
I really appreciate the work they are doing over the years. The services they provide include;

-Intensive, private, confidential, and discreet therapeutic in-patient retreat.
-Treatment for mental disorders and chemical dependencies for men and women of all ages and various different countries.
-Help to our clients live a happy and a peaceful life with a high success rate.
-Comprehensive psychiatric care and rehabilitation services.
-Apart from providing world-class treatment, we are also involved in the community through a wide range of outreach services such as sensitization programs and focused/financial assistance for less privileged persons.

The term "Functioning Alcoholic" refers to some who can usually keep on top of all their responsibilities despite their drinking. It can be the mother who waits till all the kids are in bed before she "has to have a drink or 6" but still manages to get up in the morning to do her chores. Or the executive who can still turn up for their job everyday and perform as expected by their bosses. What makes them an alcoholic is their dependence on drink but because they are keeping things together, they are usually in denial about that dependence. As a society we usually think that alcoholism is an out and out drunk but it can be far more subtle than that. That is what makes it so dangerous because by the time it is obvious, it can be very deep rooted.

Greyduster's description fits with my experience of the impact on children of growing up with the inconsistency in parenting, 'the once good mother and supportive grandmother who turned into a violent.....when she'd been drinking and the drinking took her over".
Some alcoholics are "functioning alcoholic's " so far as the outside or working world is concerned. Eventually, most 'functioning alcoholics' lose the ability to function. The drink takes over totally. Until that point they may be seen as "oh, s/he likes a drink", "s/he's a heavy drinker but holds down a responsible job, never late for work, you'd never know the extent of drinking". Greyduster, I suspect that's what the term you objected to was trying to portray. I was lucky in not having an alcoholic parent during my formative years. Friends and loved ones who did, would echo your comments.

Someone upthread referred to the term “functioning alcoholic”. This is absurd. Alcoholics do not function on any level. My mother was an alcoholic and made a hell of my childhood and early adolescence. I struggled with the shame of it, and couldn’t wait to leave home. There were so many contradictions; the once good mother and supportive grandmother who turned into a violent, shameless harridan when she had been drinking, and then the drinking took her over. Only since I married and had a family and had the space and maturity to think about it all, have I been able to come to terms with what made her what she was, though there are so many unanswered questions it breaks my heart that I will never be able to put all the pieces together. When she died I have never shed so many tears.

appalling family relations ? Ditch the pills to return to their first love ?

Dear God , I give up

The problem is disentangling an apparent family propensity to alcoholism/substance misuse and appalling family relations/circumstances that can cause generations to seek solace in self-medication. OP was talking in her original post about "taking responsibility for our behaviour" - clearly this has an impact on immediate family but also the NHS. I think one problem is that there are few state resources so GPs tend to offer little help apart from recommending AA - which is not for those who want privacy. There are drugs I believe one can ask for which lessen the inclination to drink - but unless motivated, alcoholics ditch the pills to return to their first love. Private treatment costs an arm and a leg - a PP who mentioned someone going to the Priory would be aware it costs many thousands a week.

Thank you Anniebach that is very kind & thoughtful of you & I appreciate it. xxx

Yogagirl, I know it sounds hollow after what happened to my daughter but don't give up hope, all we have is love and hope X

Anniebach

Tragic Annniebach I adored my daughter too, loved her with all of my heart and soul. Not sure I should have disclosed what I did here, but the subject was very relevant. I always describe my daughter as sweetness & light, which she was most of the time, but I think she would agree herself that alcohol didn't suit her.

No it doesn't NanaMac let's hope your DS is the only one and it doesn't go further down the line with his children. But with my children's father's family it is definitely there, in the genes.

I don't know anyone else in our family (that includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins (first, 2nd, removed several times) and so on, that has a problem with alcohol other than my DS. He was a happy drunk but the alcohol withdrawal symptoms were life threatening. It doesn't always follow that it runs in the family.

My ex partner doesn't live a particularly chaotic life.
He keep his house clean and tidy, and bills are paid.
He doesn't fight, or get particularly aggressive, but he drinks a bottle of rum a day, every day, with more on 'special occasions'.
He enjoys those who tell him what a 'legend' he is, by those who visit, so that they can get plastered too. (Although they rarely see him when he can't keep even water down without vomiting, or worse!)

My daughter had post natal depression followed by anxiety and depression, her GP advised a glass of wine in the evenings to relax. She was thirty eight , untill then had no interest in alcohol, had a drink st weddings, parties etc, never bought alcohol for the home. It did relax her and she continued to self medicate , ten years later she took her own life, couldn't cope with the misery it brought her , she left a message saying she was too tired to fight any longer.

My friend and I were talking about genetics and drinking the other day.
Friends ex husband has a very dysfunctional family, with drink and drugs playing a huge part.
My friends grown up children seem to have followed suit: chaotic lifestyles, fighting, arguments, drink and drugs.

Yogagirl, I am so very sorry, I adored my daughter and what i posted here when she took her life I will repeat -

She was my joy, my tears , my world.

Definitely a problem for our family too. Even those who don't end up as alcoholics seem unable to 'hold' their drink and most are just horrible when they've been drinking. As you can imagine, family parties can be a riot One of my cousins actually had a wedding without booze being available at all to avoid any problems. People moaned a lot initially but it was a very pleasant atmosphere otherwise.

Well Anniebach a definite pattern there, as with my in-laws and sadly my AC too. My estD had [maybe still does] a problem with alcohol, she was the sweetest, kindest girl in the world, till she had a drink & then you didn't want to be near her, very violent, to her friends, to me, to her sister, hence her sister making sure she doesn't drink herself! Actually hate writing this, first time I have disclosed this on here

Yogagirl, I was only married eight years , my husbands family were very small, he had one younger sister who left here in her teens. I learned after his death his sister became an alcoholic in her thirties, she has been in the Priory twice, her son is an alcholic and his son too. Their paternal grandmother was an alcoholic as was her father. All this was disclosed long after my husbands death. I don't know my sister in law's son or grandson .

Anniebach and all suffering from this

I do think it can be in the genes, addictive behaviour. My in-laws [now prev. but still my family today] all have/had a problem with alcohol, stemming from their mother's side. Because of this my DD will not drink, maybe the odd glass now & then. My prev. sister-in-law has been dry now for about 15yrs & has a partner the same. My ex was drinking the same up until last year when he had a stroke, cause by the alcohol. My bro-in-law still drinks the same, he is a happy drunk, so was he's mother, but the other's in the family became aggressive and lot's of problems/fights over the years stemmed from drink! My son never liked alcohol, I therefore equated that with never touching drugs, but he was introduced to them in his Uni. years & [to my knowledge] still takes them today, I haven't seen or heard from him in 5yrs and with these awful drugs on the streets now, I worry about him dreadfully!

Its a shame there isn't a "like" button on this site for your post Iam64

Thanks for clarifying that Iam, yes I absolutely agree.

I don’t know whether I accept addiction as a disease but I do agree with your views on support and not culluding icanhandtb. It’s such a difficult subject t discuss, not least because we are all individuals who make mistakes, do our best and grieve for those who fall into dependence. Let’s hope the progress in understanding and treating physical illness can develop in mental health/addictions.