Noise

I hope you feel able to speak to the neighbour about door slamming.
I have the opposite problem. One woman in our block firmly believes she owns the whole place and constantly complains to everyone about the most ridiculous things!!! The latest thing with me is me shutting an internal door! Yes I do shut it, I don't slam it , & I'm entitled to shut my doors in my property! She's had showdowns with other neighbours about their children crying 2 floors above her!!! Nobody in the block is anti social, it's communal living, people make noise in their daily lives. Nobody is having parties or obnoxious guests, she is just one of life's moaners!!! But it's fine for her to slam her front door every night and waken me!!! I now just shut the door. There is no reasoning with her I'm afraid ?.

One of my greatest joys of being retired is listening to people leaving for work on a cold and miserable morning and snuggling under the duvet for a bit longer knowing I don't have to go to work.

I have a seventeen year old Grandson who came to say hello on a Saturday night as he was passing, in his old car, I heard this terrible noise, thought it was the engine, but no it was the MUSIC blaring out of his car, I rushed out to tell him to turn the whole thing off thinking of the neighbour oposite (we dont have close neighbours) he doesnt slam doors, but the music was so loud.I hope he doesnt turn up too often, or if he does, turn the music down!

I live in a block of flats which in the day and night is very quiet so is the road in fact but my two neighbours either side always slam there doors in the morning and when they come home of a night. So annoying.

I think this is a difficult situation and imagine it plays on your mind a lot. If you can't hear yourself talking to them, I think ear plugs are a good idea. Or perhaps you could you sleep in a different room?

In my experience, there are a lot of people who just don't realise how their behaviour affects other people and lack the capacity to reflect or empathise. Perhaps they would respond favourably if you had a gentle word with them? I think it'd be best to talk to the young person directly, rather than through his parents, as he is an adult. May be highlighting the noise problem will have a knock-on effect with his parents.

We had a similar problem with a neighbour's daughter's boyfriend - he used to honk the car's horn (many times) when he came round to pick her up (rude, eh?!). At the time I had a new and fractious baby. At the end of my tether I took him, screaming at the top of his lungs, out to the guy and asked if he'd like to get the baby back to sleep as he'd done such a good job of waking him up. He didn't do it again!

I question whether car doors need to be slammed to shut? Over 40 years of car ownership this hasn't been the case with us!

I hope you get it sorted so you can sleep in peace.

It isn't petty. My nightmare neighbour was a door slammer. The council got her family more involved to try to reduce the problem but they were all door slammers too. Since she has been gone it has been wonderfully peaceful and quiet. Unfortunately there were builders in her flat on Monday and so we are worried that she will be back but it is not a minor problem and is easily avoidable. Doors can be adjusted so that they don't slam but so many people either seem to be oblivious to the disturbance they cause to others or they actually enjoy it.
I don't think that there is much to gain from remaining friendly with people who do this as they won't take it seriously if there are no consequences for them. Neighbours being a bit cold with them is a fairly mild consequence.

I used to leave for work at around 6am and I was always conscious of how much noise I was making in our quiet little cul-de-sac. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about the sound of a car door. Better one firm slam rather than trying (and failing) several times to close it quietly and then the warning beep go off because it's not closed properly. It was always worse in winter when I either had to scrape off ice or sit with the engine running to clear the windows. Short of parking up the road and annoying someone else, there's very little you can do. It might be worth having a polite word with the son though if he is repeatedly closing doors late at night.

Minerva Having had to get up very early when working (I used to walk to work by the way so didn't disturb neighbours with slamming car doors ) I am now loving being able to stay in bed until much later!

Gracious. I see 7 to 7.30 as being quite late to get up. In Greater London people are chatting on the phone as they run for the train from 6 am and up and down the road looking for parking places within walking distance from the train. Parcel deliveries start at 7 am and workmen are in full swing by 8 am. As for the evening, doors slam, particularly at weekends at any time of night and what sounded like a big row in the street at 2 am turned out to be one man shouting at someone on his phone while sat on my garden wall? Urban foxes too are no respecters of people’s desire to sleep.

Creep out very early and let the air out of his tyres!

Other people’s noise is nearly always intrusive, and difficult to deal with. My parents live opposite a small layby, and are disturbed, particularly on summer nights, by groups who have parked there to use the local pub. It isn’t so much the doors shutting, as the interminable “well, goodnight then” “bye!” which seems to go on forever. It doesn’t happen in the winter, as it’s too cold for people to hang about chatting!

Could they not find a quieter way for car doors to close? Cars are so hi tech these days, it must be possible.
Slamming metal doors always makes me nervous anyway....particularly around children's hands.

I feel for you. Some people are noisy and some are quiet. I fall into the latter category unfortunately. Sounds like you do too. I don’t think there’s an easy answer.

I had to speak to my neighbour a couple of months ago as they used to have there tv on really loudly(II'm think they are going a little deaf) but it was drowning out our tv, and although we get on well with our neighbour I was quite worried about saying something, but I plucked up the courage and knocked and although they seemed quite surprised, they understood, and a fewdays later the tv noise stopped, so I was glad I spoke to them, and we still get on well.

Last summer, I had a frequent 'visitor' to the layby outside my holiday flat on the coast. He used to park, get a coffee, return and have the engine running and music playing whilst texting on his mobile.
I got a bit cheesed off when it happened at 7-7.30am so I filled a large jug with water the night before and, hearing the car door slam, I leaned out and threw most of it onto the drivers seat and it was A LOT. I might add that it was a BMW convertible and the hood was always down.
When he returned I called down and said that if he insisted on making a racket he'd get the same treatment. I never saw him again. ?

You just can,t win, even living in a retirement complex banging doors are the 'norm' grooooaaaan

Ear plugs...simple

Years ago I had an issue with next doors teenagers, just after I had put babies to bed. The parents were unconcerned, so I spoke to the boys and explained sleepless nights etc and they were fine after that. My ex MIL had issues with a young couple playing loud rap music till 2 or 3 am: So ... when she got up at 6am to go and do her horse, they got Vivaldi at full throttle !!

Being a light sleeper myself I have every sympathy with you, and I hope ear plugs might help you.

The thing that I find most conducive to falling back asleep instantly is not to allow myself to become annoyed.

If something wakes me and I leap out of bed ready to scream and yell there is no chance of going back to sleep quickly, but if I just think to myself, "oh good, he's home safe," which doesn't cause a cortisol rush round my body, then I have every chance of slipping back into sleep.

I do hope you manage to resolve your problem - bad sleep can wreck your days, and that would be a pity.

Horrible, isn't it? In one of our previous houses the young man used to go out to the coal bunker at around midnight. You could clearly hear the shovel on the coal, then the slam of bunker lid, then slam of the door as he went back to the house which happened every night without fail. We didn't get off to sleep until after this little ritual.
This couple had terrible fights too (usually after drinks on Friday nights) and once it sounded as though they were throwing each other against the walls. Frightening. We moved away - the coward's way out perhaps but we couldn't stand it any longer. Your neighbours sound more reasonable though.

I don't see how your neighbours can avoid slamming car doors. It's the only way they'll close! Most of our neighbours go to work and we hear them leave in the mornings. We have good double glazing, which helps.

We lived near a very 'sporty' family. It was not unusual for them all, 3children plus Mum and Dad, to be bouncing on their enormous trampoline , well into the early hours. Plus they had enormous lights for the garden. Everyone muttered about it but I think nothing was ever said .

Our neighbour’s son is exactly the same?he also likes to sit in his car and rev the engine just for fun on his days off?Annoying as my husband works nights and it is none stop some days.One neighbour has complained,his mother has apologised to everyone in our little road and has spoken to her son but it doesn’t stop him.Hopefully the novelty of his new toy will soon wear off!??

I often give oh a lift between 4 and 5 am. However much we try it is impossible to shut the car doors without making a loud noise. If you pull them to intending to slam them further up the street, a load beeping noise sounds.

Earplugs or white noise headphones.