Awhile back I wrote about my husband's illness and about a condition called Afib. He wasn't getting better so we got a 2nd opinion and long story short, it wasn't the Afib that was making him so sick...his aortic valve was almost blocked. Last week he underwent a valve replacement that was done successfully and he has made a remarkable recovery after a long, desperate journey that lasted almost six months (but that's another story and another thread).
My issue today (apologies for length) is that some three months ago we decided to shop for a recliner chair, because at the time H couldn't sleep at all, no matter where we put him.
I finally found one in a reasonable price range and my daughter asked me to send her the link saying we had enough expenses to deal with and she would be happy to pay for it as a gift for her Dad. I sent her the link but didn't hear anything else about it. A few weeks later, (probably around March?) I asked her if she got my email and what happened with the chair. She said we needed to talk because she didn't like the idea of buying furniture on line.
In the meantime my husband was getting worse and we were spending a lot of time in hospital, doctors visits, Emergency rooms etc. No more discussion about the chair nor did I give it any further thought because by the end of April we were beyond that and my husband was fighting for his life.
By May 15th he was so sick, my daughter got us an appointment with a specialist in New York City. He was admitted the same day and last Monday, he got a new heart valve via femoral catherization which is considered minimally invasive. It's like a miracle! He was released two days later and just this weekend was already driving the car! Yesterday we went to the food market and he is like a new man.
Back to chair issue. We decided to stay at my daughter's until Friday because she lives close to the city. On Thursday morning she confronted me about the chair accusing me of not following through with it. She said the chair was important because he was going to need it more than ever. I reminded her that we had already picked a chair we both liked and that I had sent her the link but didn't hear back from her. She told me flat out that the chair I had picked looked good on line but that it was probably uncomfortable and cheap. She then offered to take us to a local dealer and once again reminded us that she would be happy to pay for it. Son in Law suggested she just give us the credit card and allow us pick it out.
She insisted on going anyway, accusing me of worrying more about how the chair looked in my living room over her dad's comfort and well being. I countered with the fact that a recliner could fulfill both conditions (looks and comfort).
At the store she found fault with every chair I looked at. She finally took over and picked out an enormous pink/beige fuzzy monstrosity. When I flat out said I didn't like it, she snapped at me in front of the salesperson saying it was her gift for Dad and that his comfort and well being were more important to her (as if I didn't love him too). My husband of course was delighted with the chair, because he is aesthetically challenged. The chair is powered and has a lot of buttons. It also cost twice as much as the one we had originally chosen. What's not to like?
My H even denied he ever agreed to the original (cheaper chair) we had picked ...the one we could afford. He accused me of being ungrateful and says that I've started a ruckus. I later asked my H...."If the car needed a paint job and she offered to pay for it, would you be ungrateful if she chose an ugly shade of purple and you told her you didn't like it? ....and since it's my car too, what if I gave her permission to go ahead with it anyway even though you didn't like the color? Would you be happy about that?" He didn't have anything to say except "...it's a gift for me...and what does that have to do with anything?"
Daughter in the meantime told one of her siblings that she had to step in because I probably never had any intention of buying a recliner anyway because I think they're unsightly. She also told me BTW, that the chair is both a Father's Day and a Mother's day gift.
AIBU to feel as though I have been disrespected, railroaded and treated unfairly? Our daughter was instrumental in finding a specialist and getting her dad seen so quickly...otherwise, he could have died. I'm thankful beyond words for that and I love her dearly. But this chair thing although seemingly trivial has hurt me deeply. I am so angry over this, I can't seem to get over it.
Chair is being delivered Thursday. Of course I have thought about sending it back, but that would cause WW III and no one would forgive me for doing that. I've no choice but to live with it. I am willing to move my vanity into the guest room so we can put the chair in a corner of our bedroom. H however just announced he would like to put it in our family room (%%###!!!) and daughter and I aren't speaking!
Please help!
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