Swearing

I understand you don't like it. However you can say "I would rather you didn't swear with me please"

If that is the worst fault he has consider yourself lucky. Many men (and indeed women) make horendous life partners. Example: for me, the ex was violent and abusive. Women are still dieing every week at the hands of violence and the aftermath of abuse etc. and more.

It sounds to me if you don't think he is good enough for your daughter! I suggest you open your mind and change your thinking around him if you don't want to alienate your daughter.

It's her life and her choices. Our children are through us, not of us so it is best if you look for the good in him.

There is a little bit of good in the worst of us and a little bit of bad in the best of us it I'll behoves any of us to talk about the rest of us" as my late mom used to say. Jeus I sound more like her every day!

There is a place in life for swearing, I think, when anger or frustration drive us mad, but that's all. Just using it in everyday chat, as is so prevalent today, is regrettable.
To me it seems like laziness, or even ignorance, that people just can't find better words to use. And it gives the listener an undesirable impression of someone even if the swearer is otherwise a perfectly okay person.
I think I agree with Vanatic here, although I realise that maybe he was just repeating what his mate had said.
Even so, if it was my daughter he was marrying I would feel slightly uncomfortable.

LynneB59 - "For the benefit of those people who can't grasp what my 1st post meant.... I was merely trying to say that my family behave well, not one of us has ever done anything terrible.... we swear, that's it. Get over yourselves."

Wow - why so aggressive??

To quote The Bard - the lady doth protest too much. methinks.

Have some of the comments touched a nerve?

lollee there are lots of things you don't talk about in front of children, not because there is necessarily something wrong with them but because children do, for some of the time, need protection. So you probably wouldn't tell them about your sexual activity, you might be careful about discussing a death in front of them, you wouldn't discuss a crime. Swearing just comes into that category. It isn't wrong just inappropriate.
Although I have taught a 3 year old who came out with "fuck" and "fucking" regularly. His mother claimed not to know where he had picked up such language! We knew. We'd heard her in the play yard.

I was recently travelling with a couple I thought I knew really well but they were swearing constantly in the car (he was driving). I was quite shocked as I wouldn't have expected it from them. (not the f-word by the way but everything else).
We never swear and nor do any of our family. Never considered it necessary.

Nananolife - "Oh WTF! .... get a life ... poor lad"

oh the irony, given your username

Jenpax, thank you for making me smile. Your retort was very fair and oh so droll. Bravo!

Minerva

I would tell him to f**k off. Then follow it up by saying ‘that’s what my mates would say’.

I'm with you Vanatic, absolutely hate swearing and really feel there's no need for it. I couldn't care less whether Shakespeare swore, no justification. There are few times, if any, when swearing enhances dialogue. Just laziness as far as I'm concerned. I come from a mining area and I never heard anyone in the community, including my brothers use what is called "pit" language. They kept it where it belonged down the pit or in the tap room at the pub. Don't even get me started about swearing and gratuitious sex in films and dramas. I think its pathetic when so called comedians can't articulate without resorting to expletives,

Great parenting icanhandthemback, wish more were so hands on.

I taught my children that most people swear and it would be hypocritical for me to say you must never swear. Then I went through all the situations you might swear, what the repercussions might be (other parents not wanting you to play with their children if their friends repeated it when they heard it from you) and whether it added anything to what they were saying. There were social rules like, not in front of your Parents, Grandparents, not at school, etc. We also talked about how it can become habitual so you tend to slip up if your use such language on an every day basis. By the time I'd finished, they tended to think that it was easier not to swear.
There were other phrases I taught them to avoid, eg. Shut up (just sounds awful), OMG in full or Jesus, (Blasphemous and so offensive to some) but that was because it was the way I was brought up. It is sometimes poignant to listen to my offspring say the same to theirs but they laugh like drains when I tell them that "Poo" was a bad word so we had to say PingyPongs

lollee , with regard to the diamond, no I wouldn’t but I bet Prince Philip would

I agree it's a question of respect. OK swear if that's what you do but have a thought for those around you and the situation you are in.

Yes Lynne the world is divided, those who do and those who don't and it applies to many many things. The difference with swearing is that those who don't are not offending those who do but those who do are often offending those who don't. You wouldn't meet the queen and say 'that's a --- lovely diamond in your tiara ma'am'. So are others around you not deserving of the same respect? But as i said previously, if you are brought up with something you deem right, no power on earth will tell you it is wrong, on a bigger scale that is why mankind will never be war free.

polly I’ve really been trying to resist this but I can no longer (TAAT) you post how much you dislike swearing - but think the use of the word ‘fiddling’ to describe sexual activity is nothing to mind about. I hate sleazy /coy language and find it much more distasteful than a straightforward swear word.

For the benefit of those people who can't grasp what my 1st post meant.... I was merely trying to say that my family behave well, not one of us has ever done anything terrible.... we swear, that's it. Get over yourselves.

Quite a few of you need to stop being such precious little snowflakes... it's some words. The bloke isn't a drug dealer, he isn't a paedophile, he doesn't beat his girlfriend. He isn't a rapist. He swears. So what?!

I'm with Judi Dench. It's no big deal.

so true.

There are degrees I suppose. As I said, I hate it because of my father. You hear it all the time now. It's strange that this should have happened after this thread was posted but yesterday evening took the biscuit swearing wise. DH and I went for a drink and sat in the pretty garden of a pub. A group of about 8 30-ish year olds sat at the next table. I can honestly say I have never heard anything like it. Every other word (from the men and the women) was 'f' or 'c'. One chap said 'I have just been for a p**s and there was more p*s on the floor than in the bog. One of the women was relating a story of how she 'farted' on a bus and made all the passengers laugh. Is this acceptable? Who is going to confront them? Not us. Needless to say we moved.

I dread to think what you might think of his family. It’s only words, and not worth the potential loss of contact with you DD

I dislike foul language but think it is used on this forum to show off .

Jenpax, I'm with you there. Putting unemployment in the same context as being in prison, made my blood boil.

Well at least he apologised beforehand, Vanatic.
Like others I hardly ever swear, though I do try to hide it eg 'sugar.' And I never say the f word, it sounds so aggressive.
Swearing is a bit of a mystery to me. When my eldest was about 4 he had an accident and had to have some treatment, it was his knee. As the doctor was examining him he came out with a string of swear words because it hurt. Where did he learn them? I was very embarrassed
and apologetic.
Maybe the Dr. didn't understand, he was Chinese (Singapore.)