Nannykay, I understand what you are saying and have gone over and over in my own mind, the idea that I am abandoning my own children, but how long do we have to let them rule our lives. Without trying to be nasty, I am always there if they need me, but when they don't need me, I sometimes wonder how long it would take them to contact me to see if I am okay? Not sure if I am putting this right as I know if I really needed them they would be there for me, but, they now have their own families to care for and are busy with their own lives. I understand how hard it is for her with having a three year old, he wears us out after an hour. But, even though she has split up from her ex, he helps her a lot with the kids. But that then causes rows with her daughter and her. It's funny really how, when the parents move away from their adult children, it's seen as shock horror, but if the adult children move away for a better life we just accept it. I hope you and your dad still kept in touch and you had/have some great times together.