Swearing in front of children

Shocking enough, yes. Even worse when the child gets smacked for swearing like the elders!

Craftycat. I agree that in that instance was son was right to stop you as his very presence, if he needed to defend you, could exacerbate the problem.
However, i also feel that so many louts get away with their actions BECAUSE nobody says anything. I have on several occasions interceded when i felt it was needed but have always done so with a smile and jokey attitude. The worst thing you can do is berate someone from your 'high horse' as that will just make them bristle and the situation escalates. I just said to a group of young men once with a big smile, 'come on lads, kids present' and they actually apologised. Not only that, as i passed them again in the shop one of them shushed another up who was about to swear again!

I hate it with a passion..I wait outside the school most days to pick up my granddaughter from primary school and the high school children go past effing n jeffing every other word.....it sounds awful and I dread my granddaughter going to high school....society just doesn’t care anymore about offending others and children are subjected to it all the time...or perhaps it’s just me...?

I hate hearing people swear under any circumstances. When I was young I was told that swearing was a sign of lack of vocabulary and imagination as the English language, used properly is very expressive. When people swear in front of me I feel embarrassed for them.

They are just words and I can't get worked up about them unless they are being used directly at a child like the sad story further up the thread. What I do get worked up about is the amount of aggression on the football pitch. I remember how outraged the nation was about David Beckham kicking somebody and being sent off. Most of the outrage was directed at his stupidity. Now, it would seem that this sort of behaviour is common place. The behaviour I have seen is an appalling role model for young children and much more likely to be damaging than a bit of swearing.

I dont like to hear bugger or fart either and we never used those words when I was growing up or with our own children. We have a friend, an elderly man (well,our age!) Who describes himself as an old fart. It makes me wince internally!
He also talks about going for a pee or a crap which I hate to hear too but we never say anything as he is a nice man and a good friend.

Bugger is not a swear word in the north-east either - as others have said it's more a term of affection.

My first experience of swearing was as a recently married couple my husband and I shared a two floor flat with our friends. We had the two downstairs rooms with the kitchen and they had the upper floor with the bathroom.

The upper floor wife, who was the posh daughter of a very famous father, was in the kitchen when she dropped a bottle of milk. I heard an irritated 'Oh fack!' and was shocked rigid. Somehow it seemed much worse in an upper class accent!

Swearing does NOT indicate a lack of vocabulary- even the ' posh sorts' who've had best education (&presumably have a BIG vocabulary of long words?)So not uneducated-can swear away with the others- often delighting in using more swear words than the 'common' people!and no not all high school kids swear- but a lot do,if teachers arent around, but they hear it out& about too as its more commonplace than it used to be

Obscenities are part and parcel of 21c life. I use them when on my own.Mainly when watching tv .Nothing gets me going than a politician /holier than though individual croaking on and on and on as to how we are doomed to extinction once leaving the EU.

Oh davidhs! What a lovely (sheltered)world you live in! I never brought my kids up to swear- but they hear it everywhere nowadays as it seems commonplace- and though my youngest(15)doesnt use bad language,even when he gets angry on video games(i know this as hes sooo loud&doors open)im pretty sure his older brother(19)does sometimes with his friends. If he occasionally swears when his brothers exasperated him i admonish him for it& he keeps it in check.But they (mostly) pick it up at high school&college these days amongst their peers my youngest substitutes the word 'stupid' in place i think- he says things like " that stupid game isnt stupid working right"-bit better i think.

I think if the actual meaning of the word was explained to the perpetrator it may have more relevance. I have done this in the past. These words (&, yes they do occasionally leave my lips on stressful occasions) are so common place now. Rather like the 'bother' and the occasional 'damn' which my mother very occasionally used when I was a child. 'B****r' is an every day word in Australia and often heard on the TV and sometimes in a greeting as in G'dy ya ol' b*****' . Interestingly it seems to go over the heads of my Oz GCs. Ive never heard them use the word, or others ...

Dislike foul language, especially in front of children. Teach by example. Swearing certainly shows a lack of vocabulary as already mentioned and a complete lack of manners. I didn't hear it at home and didn't use it in front of my family. The constant "in" word that we never used, is fart, hardly a programme goes by with out the it being used. It was a word that no one I knew would ever use, but there is an extreme interest in bodily functions now that I dislike. I am broad minded, my children can and do talk about nearly everything.

If people are swearing constantly or AT children then that is unacceptable; but the occasional use of an expletive under extreme provocation is just normal life for most people. Children will hear that; parent will say oops, that was a naughty word, sorry.

The above posts do make it clear that children fully understand this, and temper their language when necessary.

Children have to be part of the real world - we cannot get all twee over the occasional swear word; which is after all; only a collection of letters.

I dislike constant swearing, especially where the F word is used as punctuation.
I must, however, admit to a good cuss now and again when things have gone badly awry.
My children learned at a very early age that bad language marks you as ill-educated and possibly undesirable, and like me they confine any swearing to dire situations where nothing else will do!

Awful isn't it, I would be annoyed, have a similar problem only with my husband when his driving if any of my family are in the car he shouts abuse it's really disgusting I find it embarrassing, my late elderly mum bless her used to look upset, noticed when his sister visited he never did it once? Perhaps we don't matter ,.

put a swear box on the tv. and a note please remember there are children present.if not tell him.

Had a brother who was a professional footballer, played for his country and oh boy, do I hate football nowadays. Recently heard someone say he just cannot find what is interesting about watching 22 millionaires, with not much intelligence between them kicking a ball around for 90 minutes. My sentiment precisely. Would the same people do the same job for the basic wage? No way and as for the foul language, sorry but I would have to say something.

A three year old of my acquaintance once told an adult off for swearing, as in: " Oh God, I'm not ready."
The child came very close and whispered in shocked tones:
"You just said a square word!"

Anyone who can get so very worked up at watching a football game (22 overpaid guys chasing a ball around a field, FGS!) that they pour obscenities all over the TV may be in need of anger management strategy therapy if it's regular and 'normal' behaviour for them......

(Love your post Neil )

All my family are goody goodies and moderate their language when the littlies are around. But I do have problems having been brought up in a family where bloody was thrown into most conversations at random. Also in Norfolk, B****r isn’t always used as bad language. Calling someone a silly old b*****r is a term of endearment, so I have had to apologise for that and explain it was a Norfolk b****r.

However, I do hate stronger expletives. The F word should only be used in extremis when no one else is present.

Never heard swearing growing up at home either, agree entirely with you harrigran. It is my pet hate.

I have to admit I loathe football anyway - such a bring game but it is true the supporters just do not have any respect for those around them.
I had the misfortune to have to go to a football match when my dgs was the mascot & the whole family went.
We were sitting in the family stand & there were lots of children around including 3of my dgc-all under 8.
The 2 louts next to us were yelling obscene abuse at players & ref. right from the start. I was about to have a word when my son pulled me back & informed I might get the same treatment.
I just took the 2 little ones & we went to sit in the clubhouse - they were much happier there anyway as it was cold.
I have been to hundreds of rugby matches & never heard swearing in the crowd. Sometimes on pitch but refs.soon sort that out.
Totally unnecessary.

I disagree that they 'all' use swear words at secondary school. Although I'm sure he hears them my teenage grandson never swears as far as I know -if he did his mother would strongly disapprove.
Its all very well saying you swear on your own but not in front of children -in moments of stress these words will pop out so I try not to use them at all except very mild ones like For Gods sake! In moments of stress. Once when I was at my son's house sitting at the breakfast table I remembered something important I'd forgotten and suddenly said 'Oh damn!' The children looked at me in amazement, DiL looked disapproving and Son laughed and said 'Oh dear Grandma, you just said a bad word. We'll have to fine you!' I apologised of course! I've been more careful since.

My youngest GC, aged 8 and 9 were with us for the day and DH was doing a job in the garden. Something went wrong and he said ‘b****r’. They were outraged bless them and gave him a good telling off. They told me I shouln’t let him have any food all day as a punishment and guess what was the first thing they told Mum and Dad when we took them home? They even checked with me the next time I saw them that I had carried out the punishment. It is quite reassuring to know that they know swear words are wrong but sadly they will change when they get older. Some people seem unable to get through a sentence without obscenities, Boris Johnson is a recent example. I am glad to say my DH and two sons have never used bad language in our home or their own now they have them.