Gransnet forums

AIBU

AIBU to think this is unbelievably selfish

(82 Posts)
fruitloop Wed 04-Jul-18 10:20:00

Sorry it is another neighbour one. We live in a terrace and have small gardens. On one side our neighbours have three young children. They also have a trampoline which is not in itself an issue but they let the children play on it whenever they want. At the moment this is from 6am every day of the week. The squeak squeak squeak of the springs is a bit annoying at any time as it is relentless and loud but obviously I wouldn't think of complaining about this as it is what it is. The sound of children having fun is a good sound most of the time but shrieking children and squeaky springs at 6am when we are asleep or want to be asleep because there is no chance with it going on is driving us slowly mad. The neighbours are fairly new and we have not yet built a relationship with them so can't just have a friendly word over the fence. What to do?

jenpax Wed 04-Jul-18 10:26:26

Difficult one🤔 my own DGD aged 6 and 4 are also up with the lark especially in the heat😎 my DD and SIL are inclined to keep them inside until at least 7.30 due to worrying about sleeping neighbours! But I guess people don’t think about this.
I probably wouldn’t say anything as the warm weather won’t be for ever😢 I would may be invite them round for a cup of tea etc and then when relations are more established ask if they wouldn’t mind keeping the kids in until a more sociable hour.

Ziggy62 Wed 04-Jul-18 10:27:18

6am????? oh my word. I am a childminder and never allow children into garden before 9am, try to leave it later if I can . Also explained to older kiddies not to be shouting and screaming as our neighbour works nights (although their dog barks constantly!!!)

Not sure what you can do tbh. Maybe try to have a chat and jokingly mention you don't need an alarm now they have moved in

grannyactivist Wed 04-Jul-18 10:41:42

This is just the sort of thing that could get neighbourly relations off on a bad foot and there is no easy solution I'm afraid. Personally I would be inclined to invite the neighbours round, ply them with tea/coffee and cake, then offer them a gift of WD40 as you've noticed that 'when the children play on the trampoline in the early morning the noise wakes you up'. You've then identified the problem, shown a willingness to help with a solution - and hopefully given them a face-saving way of responding. They could of course take huge offence and storm off, but then you'll know what sort of people you're dealing with. Hopefully they will apologise for their thoughtlessness and scamper away to tell the children there will be no trampolining before 9am in future. smile

fruitloop Wed 04-Jul-18 10:53:07

I do understand the early summer mornings but always stopped my own children playing noisy games in the garden until a more reasonable hour because it wasn't fair on the neighbours. I know what it's like to have children up with the lark and desperate to play but I also think they are never too young to learn about consideration for others. If it was 8am I wouldn't mind but 6am is just not fair, especially at weekends

Elegran Wed 04-Jul-18 11:07:49

Would the squeaky springs benefit from a squirt of WD40? You could suggest that to the parents, perhaps making it sound less like a complaint by also saying what a lot of fun the children get from the trampoline (which is true, even though it is not fun for you at 6 am)

fruitloop Wed 04-Jul-18 11:23:30

It's worth a try. We are so tired any bonhomie we might have is going fast. We don't want to fall out but we are fed up with their lack of consideration. It's not like we have big gardens. We are all on top of each other whcih i think means we should be more mindful of one another not less. The neighbours on their other side are friends of ours and in the same predicament

Elrel Wed 04-Jul-18 11:29:01

Fruit loop: It's summer so it's light early, it's warm weather. Don't worry, soon there'll be wetter, colder, darker mornings.
Let the children make hay while the sun shines. All too soon they'll be crouched over their electronic devices.

Beau Wed 04-Jul-18 11:43:38

You are not being unreasonable - I decided not to buy a particular house when I noted the size of the neighbour's trampoline relative to the size of their garden - I would ask them politely not to let the children play outside until 8am at the earliest - 6am is ridiculous. They may be so used to getting up early having 3 young children that they have forgotten that most people really don't want to get up that early by choice.

jenpax Wed 04-Jul-18 11:45:28

I didn’t let mine out until 8.30 either although we had a big garden and they could play out of ear shot at the top end🤣 it’s probably not occurred to them and a gentle conversation over tea might just sort it out 😁

BlueBelle Wed 04-Jul-18 11:51:00

Oh come on it’s summer it’s kids it ll be raining next week (maybe) it’s for a few shorts weeks, buy some good earplugs and stay happy
I really don’t see how you can ask neighbours to not let their kids out at certain t8mes without causing ill will be glad they re having a good time you could be living on a main road under a flight path next door to drunks druggies and they could all move in afte4 you ve bought a ‘quiet’ house

Jalima1108 Wed 04-Jul-18 12:11:34

I used to be woken at the crack of dawn (well it felt like it) by next door's children racing round the garden with their father.
They've moved now and I miss them in a way although our new neighbours are very nice but fairly quiet.
Another neighbour said he can't sleep through the birds' dawn chorus so has to have the windows shut even in the hot weather.

You could offer them a can of oil so that they can oil the springs on the trampoline.

Jalima1108 Wed 04-Jul-18 12:12:10

ps I don't know why they have to shriek - my DGC have a trampoline but I haven't heard the springs squeaking nor heard them shrieking.

fruitloop Wed 04-Jul-18 12:19:51

well that is useful to know. thank you!

Beau Wed 04-Jul-18 12:21:43

My neighbour asked me to keep DD quiet in the garden back in the seventies and she was an only child and there were no trampolines - I did my best as that was all I could do but that was on sunny afternoons, not at 6am. Later my life was blighted by a very noisy neighbour in the flat above us after we moved for about 3 years (deafeningly loud music that made the walls vibrate at all hours) so I try my best to be as quiet as possible all the time - I nearly lost my job due to the lack of sleep and DD had to stay with her DGF some nights to be able to do her homework. People are just so selfish unfortunately.

OldMeg Wed 04-Jul-18 12:44:09

It is rather early, but first scenario .....use that time to your advantage. Get up, do the housework, bake a cake, peel the veg for the evening meal, garden, walk the dog, wash the car whatever. Then have a siesta at lunch time to catch up on lost sleep if you are retired.

Second scenario.....at about the time their children are going to bed, go out into your own garden and play your favourite music, very loudly, invite friends round for a noisy drink, mow the lawn, get the electrical hedgeclippers out and trim your trees, retune your car engine (or even better your Harley) and teach your dog to bark at passing pedestrians.

Jalima1108 Wed 04-Jul-18 14:15:12

Thanks for the giggle OldMeg
grin

Namsnanny Wed 04-Jul-18 14:26:10

OldMeg...brilliant!! grin grin

GrannyGravy13 Wed 04-Jul-18 14:31:36

OldMeg. Best solution posted👏👏👏👏👏

annep Wed 04-Jul-18 14:41:57

Too early. You are not being unreasonable. I would just say nicely that 6am is a bit early. Building sites etc aren't allowed to start so early. Nothing wrong with children learning some consideration.

Nanny123 Thu 05-Jul-18 09:54:29

I fully understand that children get up early, but I would never let my children out in that early in the morning especially if I lived in a terraced house and you are no way be unreasonable. OldMeg you made me laugh.

paperbackbutterfly Thu 05-Jul-18 10:02:36

I expect different people have different ideas about what time is too early. We are usually up for 6 so our neighbours children have never been a problem and they often play out quite early (6 to half past). The other day they past me some freshly made waffles through the fence at 6.30 for my breakfast! Maybe you could go to bed earlier if you are finding you are too tired?

razzmatazz Thu 05-Jul-18 10:03:39

Tricky one. TBH I don't think it would go down well if you said anything so maybe think of ways to manage it . I live in an apartment with grounds so when my grandchildren come I let them play out as I live on the ground floor with a patio door. They are communal grounds. They play on the grass just outside my door . Recently my neighbour complained to my 12 year old DGD and told them to move further away . They weren't loud . I was pretty angry and upset as they don't play outside often as they only visit at weekends and sometimes after school. If they have played outside twice then that is the most this summer . My daughter was pretty cross too and said I should say something but her husband said that I have to live here with my neighbours so best to keep the peace. Wise words. So I grin and bear it but still let them play out on the rare occasions the weather is good enough ( freak heatwaves apart!). I won't be bullied as I am a considerate neighbour and they are just children playing once in a while. Practical suggestions . Some really heavy duty ear plugs maybe, heavy curtains and windows closed? That should absorb some of the sound .

Grampie Thu 05-Jul-18 10:03:57

Generous sprays of WD40 stopped my springs from squeaking.

(not recommended for use inside the house!)

Purplepoppies Thu 05-Jul-18 10:09:14

6am IS too early. I see no reason why you can't speak to the parents about this. It doesn't have to be a confrontation does it?
It seems people have lost the art of polite conversation for fear of aggression.
Good luck with your choice 💐