Driving night time

Here’s a little poem “wot I wrote”(!) :-

Let me say I am happy to treat
My friend, sitting in the front seat,
To a lift near or far
Inside my comfy car;
For company just can’t be beat.

But there is a request I must make
For everyone’s safety’s at stake.
Don’t talk when it’s busy!
I’ll get in a tizzy!
Which could lead to a major mistake.

So

Ignore the “So” - don’t know how to edit!! Sorry.

I'm so happy reading this thread. I could have written almost everything that other posters have. I'm lucky that DH loves driving and always does if we're both going somewhere. He very kindly offered to drive me to my evening 'gigs' especially as I have real problems driving in the dark.
I'm currently not allowed (or able) to drive but, all being well, I might be signed off to by the orthopaedic consultant in 8 weeks time. Will wait and see but my confidence just seems to evaporate more and more with the passing years.

Don’t mind passengers or driving at night yet, but along with many on here I just say “I need to concentrate” if I’m doing something like reversing into a narrow parking space or trying to navigate in an unfamiliar town. Since I’ve done that ever since I started driving, family and friends already know.
I’d certainly not change a radio station in someone else’s car unless they asked.

I was fast becoming the local taxi service for friends at Church, so I stopped it, had enough of being used.

I agree with Luckylegs 9,I dont like having passengers and rarely have them, the worst one is my husband with his comments which make me nervous and I cant concentrate, last time he was with me was the last time, I couldnt cope I said "if you have to comment you cant come with me, use your own car"
Driving at night I avoid as much as possible, although I too have bought some yellow glasses which fit over my own, havent tried them yet, where we live its light all night at this time of year. Even though I seldom answer my phone while driving ( hands free) I still find it hard to concentrate and drive, not answering, is safer.I am glad I am not alone ,we are many who think alike thank goodness.

Well remember when my DC were young telling them that when they had their own cars I’d lie on the back seat and kick and shout and see how they liked it. Never tried it!

I just say on the odd occasion I have to give someone a lift that I am not used to passengers so get distracted and therefore will not speak at all during the drive. Most people are good about it. It's only short distances, I gave up motorways a while ago, just do local stuff.

Omg I know how you feel. Daughter gets in, turns radio off, readjust aircon, readjust seat and opens glove box for a rummage. OH does all of the above but adds criticism to the mix of my every move. Have told them they can walk if my transport is so bad. At least they hesitate now before trying anything! Love them to bits... luckily.

What a great thread ! I drive alone or late at night with DH and very voluble friends as I’m teetotal . It’s ok when they fall asleep !! However it’s not often and I’m not entirely confident as DH hates being a passenger unless anesthetised ! I have to remind myself when I’m in the driving seat that I can’t switch off and daydream . So I’m planning to do an AA confidence course as I agree with you Quizqueen . If I’m told that I ‘m actually becoming a hazard to my grandchildren , myself or others I would sell my car ( never driven DH ‘s , too big automatic, my choice ) . However I’m hoping it will be more valuable than that . Be good to know if anyone else has done this and how it went .

Luckylegs9 - you have no choice if you want to continue driving with confidence - you make it very clear to anyone who wants a lift from you that from the moment they enter your car to the moment they leave they sit in the back and SHUT UP! I'm sorry if your entreaties to people have so far resulted in causing upset but quite frankly if folk are so precious and self-centred that they want you to chauffeur them around and at the same time be able to distract you, then you don't want to be friends with these people. End of. My husband who's 9 years older than I am has become a bag of nerves driving - he becomes very stressed when trying to park, can't see the road properly in the dark, and can't react as quickly as he used to do, so I understand your situation. Consequently he asks me to drive which I don't mind at all but then he tries to tell me what to do. You have to be firm with your would-be passengers. You can't put up with the distractions because it might cost your life.

Pollyperkins .I refrain when possible from giving a lift to persons who drive themselves. Having experienced reactions from when , now my late, DH was a passenger in my car would when I had to overtake, reach a junction or crossroads with no words spoken, grip his seat. This unnerved me and many the times I have stopped the car and asked him to either walk or b****well take a taxi.

I was driving round the ring road of a nearby city my Husband was constantly talking and criticising, so I said if you don't shut up I am going to stop this car and get out. He then accused me of terrifying the dog as she was shaking on the back seat GRR!!!

After a Christmas get together with volunteer colleagues, I offered a lift home to one of them. She had had a bit to drink, and, I hadn't realised. She kept saying she felt ill. I got quite upset and told her that she was not to be sick in my car, or else. She wasn't, and I have not offered since.

I know how you feel. I'm used to driving alone and really prefer to do so. I can concentrate much better when it's just me. There must be a firm yet diplomatic way to say 'no'.

interesting thread and cant agrre more with all the comments ( I posted about at satnav as opposed to maps on another thread) I suppose I didnt wnat to say "I have lost my confidence" but seeing this thread has made me realise there is a lot of us about...maybe its an age thing, maybe it is loss of a dh/partner/or just generl worries.

I find I am easily distracted when driving, and as otehr posts have said I too am happily driving myself around.

Im off to Whitby in a few weeks just me in the car and Im quite looking forward to it (about a 3 hour drive) not motorways. I will be able to stop admire the scenery over the moors, have a little picnic and just please myself l, if I take a wrong turning (no one will know) lol.

But later on in the year I will be driving to Whitby motorway first then duel carriage ways.but will have my mum n dad with me....(my dad can be a back seat driver although hes not been bad lately) so this journey is the one im thinking of a sat nav as I dont want to go the wrong way.

Ive done the journey many times in the past with dh sat at the side of me, but now........seems a different ball game.

must check my spelling before postings....tut!!

be driving to Llandudno later in year (not Whitby) tut

We have lots of young visitors who fly into local airport, therefore have no car, must be collected. I ask them to shush as I negotiate the car park, tussle with the ticket machine and exit barrier, then negotiate all the roundabouts. So no chatting, no radio please, then they make lots of phone calls! So distracting. They don’t seem to be able to tolerate silence. And I feel as if all the other vehicles are so big, huge container lorries, massive four by fours - I could have stared this thread. Glad I am not alone.

I’m happy to give people lifts, but I do like to concentrate & not chatter.
I am always amazed at the number of men making comments on our driving.
Can you imagine, “You could have gone then”, “Don’t let them in”, “ You can get in that space” etc said to a male friend” Ha !

If I am driving it's "my car, my rules". I don't like the radio on it distracts me, and if anyone turned it on without asking they would, politely, be asked to turn it off. I will chat but in exceptionally heavy traffic will say "I need to concentrate". DH and I are used to what each other like, but passengers have to abide by the rules!!!!!

It’s a responsibility having passengers
And a distraction.... I’ve had back seat drivers and I’ve wanged to tell them where to alight ( to be polite .. and that rhymes lol )
People just will use you too and you can become a taxi

“Wanted “
I
Mean lol

You are not alone Luckylegs; perhaps just asking your passengers to not distract you with talk is all that is needed. We passed a car last week, parked in a layby with engine running, and of course all windows were down due to the heat. A young mum with a scarlet face was saying VERY loudly to the small people in the back, 'I am DRIVING!! Do NOT keep talking to me'.

Thank you for your replies, I hate the resulting conflict if I say anything, so made every excuse not to go out, I am going to just say I find anyone in the car with me is a distraction and suffer the consequences. Sometimes if I don't go no one else does, they don't want to drive themselves. Lindane I can just see your pooch in the back traumatised, if that isn't the way to win an argument I don't know what is.
Biker gran I do admire you making that journey on your own, I will fly half way round the world alone, but not drive to Whitby, where I would love to return to, we went every year!