Thank you tradition.

I didn't get a thank you from my nephew either when I sent him a crisp, new minted, £50 note for his 21st (My traditional 21st gift to nephews and nieces, I'm not overly well off!)
I rang him in the end to ask if he'd received it, as I had had to do with his older brother and, later had to do with his younger sister. (They, the brother and sister did, at least have the grace to say, "oh yes, thank you" when I enquired but not the other nephew.)
"Did my card and the money arrive on time?" I enquired. "Oh yes, I got them ok" was the only reply!
These are my brother's children by his first (of three) wives.
They are now in their mid to late thirties. I haven't seen them, or my brother, or their mother, for years and I have no particular wish to!!

oldbatty he yawns in his grandmother’s face when she speaks; no manager of a 21 year old is going to tolerate that.

21 years old, time to stop giving presents unless he gives you something at Christmas or birthdays. It is never fashionable to not say thank you just thoughtless.

Sounds he isn't interested in the gifts. That's what I would assume and just not bother. A lot of folk stop giving gifts to children/gc once they are of a certain age e.g. leave school and just give gifts on significant occasions as in marriage, birth of baby, moving home. Perhaps you should re-evaluate how he views gifts.

It’s not about how it’s done these days, it’s common curtesy, just as you would say thank (I hope) if someone brought you a cup of tea or opened a door for you. It can be by text, phone, face to face or even written

Actually no it doesn't. It can be an advantage to be hard headed and focused in the world of work.

Its lovely to be kind and well mannered but not necessary.

I feel that now this grandchild is a twenty one year old adult, basic social niceties such as expressions of thanks should no longer need to be taught by parents.

Likewise, even if he is bored out of his mind at family functions, he is well past old enough to put a polite face on it.

If he is incapable or completely unwilling to behave politely, this bodes extremely poorly for his future in the world of work.

grateful is a funny concept.

I would be Inclined to forget the next birthday.
Have you spoken to his parents about your feelings?Were they ever , what appears to be, as ungrateful
Can you recall whether he ever said please and thank you as a child.?

Surely there must be a better way then " they didn't say thank you so they're not having anything else"

Sometimes confronting someone about their behaviour does work. I wouldn't do it in a censorious manner, more in the way of genuine concern ie 'have I offended you?' He has to be alerted to the fact that his attitude is less than pleasant, and a passive approach is better than aggressive, and it sounds as if that would be easier for you.

No of course you're not being U. Just stop the giving. If any comment is made say 'Oh I thought you wouldn't mind, you never said when you did get presents'.

My nieces stopped saying thank you, so I stopped giving.

I do think it is down to the parents to teach their children to say thank you for presents from when they are young. Most of my grandchildren have always sent a note or said thank you in person. Only the children of one daughter have not and when there were no thanks forthcoming after her eldest child's first communion gifts (money was requested) we were told that the Irish don't think it necessary to say thank you. ???? What a load of cobblers.
I stop giving cards and money when my grandchildren are 21. I started putting money into the greatgrandchildrens bank accounts for birthdays and Christmas but the parents couldnt be bothered to say thank you so I stopped. Those grandchildren cant even be be bothered to say happy birthday to me on FB let alone send a card or message so if that's the modern way I will do the same.

I agree that a simple thank you costs nothing,especially these days with text, face book messenger, whatsapp and email ?
speaking only for myself, I don’t think I could just stop giving presents to my family even if they did not thank me. Fortunately it has never yet happened.

I have experienced this on several occasions, and it annoys me very much. Apart from anything else, if you've posted a gift you want to know if it's arrived. Like others, I was brought up to write thank you letters and taught my children to do the same. I blame the parents!

I don’t bother giving gifts/ cards to nieces or their children anymore. I never get an acknowledgement. I sent a card and money to my best friends daughter for her wedding. She could have screwed itup and thrown it in the bin for all I know. It’s really annoying me now as best friend had a lovely thank you card. When the first baby comes along, they can whistle

You are definitely not being unreasonable. It is just good manners. It used to drive me mad when nieces and nephews didn't send a thank you note of any sort and in some cases I stopped sending gifts. If they couldn't be bothered to thank me I couldn't be bothered to remember birthdays etc. Fortunately all my DGC send thank yous. Initially DC wrote them, and they added a picture or a squiggle at the bottom, now they are notes written by them. I don't want an epistle just a simple thank you. Manners cost nothing ( well maybe a stamp ?)

It is doing young people a disservice to allow them to be rude and ungrateful. I should have a quiet word with the boy's parents along the lines of, 'Did X get my - whatever - as I have not heard anything back? I wonder whether it is lost in the post. Could you ask him?'

If the parents do not get the hint then cease the gift giving.

However, it is worth persevering for the boy's sake as if he acts towards others like this he will be at the top of nobody's queue for employment or friendship.

My stepdaughter was positively abusive to both her father and her aunt when both presented her with expensive gifts which she should have appreciated and thanked them for. Received furious phone call from my sister-in-law when the piece of jewellery she had sent was rudely refused....What can you do about such ungrateful attitudes. Haven’t spoken to stepdaughter since this happened...

I have a simple rule that applies to all, no thank you, no more presents. Simple

Good answer

I was brought up to say thank you for any gesture or present and I have brought up my child to do the same. But I am appalled at some members of my family who never say thank you whatever you give them or do for them. Its like they take it for granted. When you think they are all on social networks or mobile phones a few manners and a few minutes would not go amiss. But I do think its a reflection on the way they are brought up.

Technology makes it so much easier to say thank you these days - no need to sit and write a letter, stamp an envelope and walk to the post box - it’s just a thoughtful text or a two minute phone call - personally I would tell him that much as you love him and delight in buying him a birthday and Christmas gift, you do want to know that what you have bought is something he likes and that he needs to at least make the effort to tell you that and to give his thanks.

I think you're absolutely entitled to expect a thank you for gifts given to your grandson, and he's old enough to know that he should! My grandchildren are 13 and 17 and always say thank you, and say it like they mean it! Have a word!