Permanent Memorials at Roadside Accident Spots

Thank you JackyB - I love it when someone gives a link to increase my understanding of the thread. The crocus idea seems so lovely Jane10. In Greece they are very elaborate, little houses with candles, photos etc. Not by the roadside, but when my friends lost their son to knife crime (he was killed 16, protecting a 14 year old from a 16 year old with a knife) they were allowed to put a bench in front of Hackney Town Hall where he died with inspirational words for other young people. They've spent the past 14 years working in his name in the community. Now that's what I call a living memorial, venerate a life by doing good, not with flowers, toys etc which cost money but are fleeting...
www.robertlevyfoundation.org.uk/.

Locally permanent reminders are not permitted but you do see flowers presumably at anniversaries or birthdays so sad for the families, if it makes them feel better no harm.

I have a strong dislike of flowers placed at roadsides, yes I do understand for some people they may bring comfort. My Dad died suddenly when I was 22 (40+ years ago), he was cremated & family flowers only, every-one else was requested to donate to charity. We continue to do this.

I find roadside memorials complete with flowers distracting when driving, not as in making me unaware of the road I'm driving on but my thoughts will be "oh I wonder what happened".

I dislike seeing all the plastic wrapping around bouquets of flowers, I hated seeing all the flowers after Diana died, all I see is the waste & how much more good all that money could have done if given to Charity ok tin hat time & hide behind the barricade . Grief is personal to the nearest & dearest. I don't like memorials but a graveyard/cemetery is the place for them.

Jay's Grave or Kitty Jay's Grave, Dartmoor is quite close to where I live, google it if you're visiting Dartmoor & want to find it, fresh flowers are laid regularly but no-one admits to putting them there.

I remember such a memorial at the roadside in the New forest had to be removed because it distracted other drivers. Maybe also because it was in a national park.

Flowers still in wrapping paper so you can't really see them, candles puddling and leaving a mess, toys and balloons and scrappy messages and cards.
Who cleans it up?
I've never seen brass plaques attached to trees. The local authorities in England don't allow it as roadside trees are their property. I've never seen marble or stone memorials placed at roadsides where accidents have happened either. Again, Highways England and local authorities would never sanction roadside memorials of that nature.

NanaEm.....I totally agree with you. They are a distraction to drivers.
I understand the need to memorialise the sudden death of a loved one but there are places more suited for this and which can be visited by those left behind.
At the end of the day.....all the time the person is spoken and thought of means they have not left us.
I have to admit I am also a believer of......land for the living not for the dead.

I have thought about putting something pretty near a particular bench at the hospital, just so that others sitting there might notice and enjoy it.
I can't bring myself to go there yet though.

I hate the multi-coloured cellophane parcels which appear heaped or tied to trees whenever someone dies in tragic circumstances. I believe they have flowers in the centre but rarely see them.

On the main road near us there is a small wooden cross where a local young man was killed. Daffodils flower around it in spring. It is a reminder of how easy it is to snuff out a life and how we should take care. I like it.

lemon, my granddaughters didn’t like the flowers left there, I didn’t see them, definitely not left by my daughters family. I didn’t ask for them to be removed because they must have meant something to those who placed them but I rather they hadn’t been left there.

I never understand why people leave all the plastic wrapping on flowers when there is a sad death.

As for road deaths, it is disturbing to see flowers by the road but it might make people slow down, I am not sure though. As for permanent stone memorials, I do not agree with this. Surely there are by-laws preventing the erection of permanent signs or items like this?

What happened to the "Accident Black Spot" signs?

I would be the same Annie otherwise you would be looking at that one spot forever.
What you said in a previous post about others ( not family) leaving floral tributes on the bridge where your dear daughter died was rather telling, I have often wondered if flowers are not left by family but by friends, aquaintences, neighbours and total strangers.

We are all so different, my husband died in a car accident 43 years ago just outside town, I know the road well but have no idea where on the road he died, have never wanted to, it’s on a one mile stretch of the road .

Crossing mountains in Spain we often saw white crosses by the road, some with flowers laid. I remember thinking it was a good way to remind people of the dangers of driving on mountain roads.
The white bicycles which appear after a cyclist dies on our London roads is likewise a poignant remainder and I find them touching. I don’t see these memorials as any more distracting to drivers than advertising hoardings or men dressed as Superman or Spider-Man or what have you, directing us to the nearest pizza shop.
If it helps people to deal with loss then I have no problem with it.

The only roadside memorial I have visited is the one for Tom Simpson on Mont Ventoux, no flowers but cyclists water bottles aplenty.

I meant MY previous post wasn't really relevant, not lemongrove and readymeals 's posts!

Sorry, above post wasn't really relevant.
Broadly I agree with those asking for tolerance and compassion for those who choose to express their sense of loss and grief by leaving floral or other tributes, but I share the dislike of leaving plastic wrappings for someone else to clear away (or for wildlife to ingest)

You see these in France too. I think they might have some usefulness if placed at the location of the accident, as it might alert drivers to the need to take care.

Old Meg ....the reason I posted what I did was not because your opinion was different ( no problem with that) but your post of13.45.38 saying ‘what a judgmental lot of posts, try not to be so unkind’.
You said that because most of the responses were different to yours.
Some like roadside memorials, some do not, simple as that.

I recall a centuries-old stone memorial in Dartmoor at a crossroads (in the National Park, so no danger as it's off the road). It's called Jay's Grave and legend says it's the grave of a woman who committed suicide - as such she wasn't allowed to be buried in consecrated ground.
There are always flowers there, placed on the grave by visitors. Nothing in plastic and usually gathered from the countryside round about. It's rather pretty and the stuff of folklore. Our children were fascinated by it on our frequent holidays in the region - as was I.

Each to their own.
In a busy high street there is a white bicycle with the name of a young girl on it. It is a reminder of the brevity of life and that death can be so sudden and unexpected.

Grief is personal and people do what they have to do to find a way thro it ... but I also think it’s a reminder to others to drive safely.

I agree with Menopaws about the plastic wrappers being left on flowers. Whenever I look at photos of the gates of Kensington Palace after the death of Diana, it’s just a sea of plastic. If I ever left flowers like this I would take off the wrapping or leave a flowering plant.

I fancy these roadside memorials increased following the death of Princess Diana. That one event seemed to turn the nation into professional mourners.

People placed flowers on the bridge where my daughter died last November, I didn’t , the family didn’t , who ever did had a need to do so.

I imagine that many deaths in hospitals are often somewhat expected, or at least not terribly surprising, in a way that road deaths are not. I should think that makes a difference.