To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

I dislike the term 'gone before' because it creates (to me) a picture of someone in a long dark tunnel, endlessly waiting.
I prefer 'died' and 'death' to 'passed away', but if it comforts people to use these words, does it matter?

I always thought that originally the British expression was passed away, and the Americas just say passed.

The main concern is, you don't want to hurt someone's feelings when talking about their loved one who has died. So people try and use expressions that are less stark. I'm sure it's meant well.

Anniebach

The BBC never announce a death as anything but - Jo Blogs died yesterday, never heard them announce Jo Blogs passed yesterday

Undertakers chapels are called Chapel of Rest. Chapel of the dead sounds like a horror film

I understand the use of euphemism when it creates some emotional distance for the bereaved but like our poster it irritates me in the press or T.V. When the reporter should need no emotional distance......they are paid to speak plainly and not to make it more palatable.

As a spiritualist i used the term 'passed' as in passed over to the other side.

sory that should be alap!

I hate the whole language that surrounds death. When my mum died the funeral director, who was a lovely chap, asked me "Where is your mother now resting?" I had to bite my tongue to stop me answering "She's not resting she's dead."
I also wonder why every single organisation has to have a bereavement officer now whose sole purpose seems to be to slow things down and make things last asap.

I assume some say ‘lost’ because it’s their choice

As a child I did go to church, because my parents thought I needed to know what it was all about, and of course we had hymns and prayers at school. I knew my parents didn’t really believe in it, but I enjoyed church and hymns etc. I don’t think I ever regarded it as more than a fairy tale.

I generally don't like euphemisms at all.

Regarding death, why do some people say they have 'lost' their husband/wife?

A friend's wife died a few years ago, and whenever anyone said 'oh I hear you have lost your wife' he replied 'no she's not lost, she died'

I’ve just remembered that when I was 8 my grandmother died. She had been living with us for about 6 months because she was ill. My parents told me one morning that she had died. Although I had not known she might die, I accepted it without any problem, and was certainly not upset by the word. They would never have used a euphemism of any sort. If they’d said ‘passed away’ I wouldn’t have known what they meant.

Grandma70, if a child had been brought up in the Christian faith they would know there was no coming back, i didn’t speak of heaven to my daughters , as a Christian I did speak of Christ’s promises

Middle paragraph second sentence should read She needed to be clear.

I prefer to say He /she died, though I understand that some people find “passed away” gentler. I do not like “passed”.

I have always been matter of fact about death, perhaps because I took the phone call about my Nan’s death when I was quite young, and her sister did not want to say anything ambiguous. She hop neded to be clear so I could tell Mum. I also took a couple of other calls about deaths of people who were important to us. All when I was about 10-12.

Now my sister is beginning to forget that our parents are dead and sometimes I have to remind her gently. I say “ Dad died”. Maybe the time will come when I don’t tell her any more, if she gets too upset, and just leave her in her own world. I don’t know.

When my dad died my mum couldn't bring herself to use the word "died". She would say he passed away. To me it sounded more gentle that the word "died". Let people use whatever term they're happy with.

I think if I had told my children that Daddy had passed away or gone to heaven they would have said “Do you mean died?” We just didn’t use terms like that in our house.

If you say someone’s gone to heaven surely a young child would think he might come back?

I made the mistake of saying my poor Jim had " gone to a better place " . The recipient thought I had put him in a nursing home , and asked for the address , many tears and explanations later I decided to never use a euphemism again

I prefer 'died' but that's my choice. 'Passed' is a gentler term perhaps that many people feel more comfortable with.
My GC's dog died recently - and we used the word 'died' and talked about it and we were all naturally upset. Having pets is an opportunity to talk about death and we've always used the term 'died' when referring to animals. Is 'passed' just used for humans do you think?

My feelings exactly, GrannyGravy.

Exactly Cherry, I was not going to tell my 7 year old any different, and taking them to church every Sunday since they were tinies did bring my faith into our talks of his death.

For me telling little ones bluntly about death fills them with fears they may choose not to share. My elder daughter had such fear I would die, i chose to allay her fears with faith, knowing when she was older she would decide for herself.

I think passed away sounds gentler than died, dont know why but it does to me, but i dont like the phrase,[passed]
I usually say died, but i can see why some dont like it, just somehow sounds very blunt

I couldn’t say my mum died for years, as it’s just to horrible to believe. If it offends people, tough. People say what ever makes them feel comfortable. I still say I ‘lost’ mum. Because for years I was lost without her.

I would always say died/dead but I don't have a problem with 'passed away' -- I think it has been in usage for a very long time.
I don't even mind 'passed over' (if you're a spiritualist) but I do dislike just 'passed' as in 'he passed today' for died -- it seems so mealy-mouthed and smacks of avoidance.
It also sounds very American to my ears and hence not really natural. It's on a par with 'can I get a....' instead of 'can I have...' or, even better 'may I have...'.
( recall at school when asking for something if you said 'can I have' the teacher would reply of course you can -- but what you mean is 'may I..'
Sadly I think this distinction has already been lost. )
out-and-proud grammar pedant