To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

Oh my gosh MissA - I think that'd be taking things a tad too far for me!

I watched a programme about Papua, where they smoke their lived ones bodies, sit them in chairs, then carry them into the hills.
Every year they have a bit of a 'do' and they fetch them all down and spend the evening feasting, with the loved ones at the tables too.
They do any repairs which need doing, then carry their departed back into the hills.

I haven't been to one (yet) Annie, so I can only go by what I've read or heard from someone who has, but it seems there are opportunities for some really thought provoking discussions. I'll put a couple of links below so you can judge for yourself:
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/mar/22/death-cafe-talk-about-dying

soundscapingsource.com/death-cafe-a-review/

In my father's family death was not taboo. Too many bereavements resulting from many different causes. It was traditional to have the body with the family at home for a set period of mourning when friends and family came to talk about the person, drink bitter coffee and bring food for the family & pray.
In mum's family there were set rituals e.g. closing of curtains, armbands etc. but little was said. Perhaps because I found the 'talking' mourning better for me, rather than the quiet approach, that it makes me less comfortable with euphemisms. Who knows!

I think it is inbuilt fear, regardless of how much we now know, and for how many years we may have researched it.
Its fear of the unknown, and everyone has a tiny trickle of fear at something we personally haven't encountered head on.

Couldn’t agree more ga. When I worked with bereaved people I always used their language out of respect. Often we would acknowledge at some point how hard it was to openly talk about death and how unprepared most of us are to manage death as a part of life. I grew up in a family where death was openly discussed and I can recall being told many times not to be afraid of it. I tried to have the same approach with our children. Friends often thought and said this was wrong. We agreed to differ. The opportunity to talk and hear others viewpoints can only be good,

What goes on in a death cafe? Do they drink coffee and repeat death over and over, or discuss what coffins they want or perhaps share photographs of corpses . I really don’t understand why people want to meet and talk about death over a coffee.

I'm in the process of writing a funeral service that I'll be taking in a couple of weeks and I just checked my notes; I use the words 'died' and 'death' except for when I describe sitting with the person as she 'left this life behind'.
I don't care what words people say, but I do wish we talked more about death and, in a sense, prepared for it better. (No, nothing can really prepare for the death of a loved one in emotional terms, but practically we can address certain aspects.) I've never been to one, but I do approve of the concept of 'Death Cafés' - although I suspect they appeal to people who already have an open approach to the subject. The whole subject can be fraught with difficulties that could be made easier if only people talked about it more.

just to clarify..I am not offended by the term 'passed' I just find the use of the euphemism in the media irritating. How each of us expresses our own losses is entirely up to us.

I think it’s just that some people find talking of death or dying too direct, so they prefer a euphemism. They find it comforting.

I have never once used, or even thought of using a euphemism when I refer to my husband’s death . I say he died. I prefer to be direct, but not everyone does.

I have only just realised, when I post I refer to ‘when my daughter died’. But when having to tell people I have always said C took her own life last November , wonder why this is , can it me ‘my daughter died ‘ because I don’t speak of her by name , but when speaking her name I don’t say she has died , passed or passed away . Only now have I realised this.

May be Annie but I do think death is a bit of a taboo subject in our culture, hence the growth of "death cafes" where people can discuss openly.

I don’t think people are afraid of the word death, just find passed away less harsh

Too true.

In the obits in the paper today only one person had died, all the others had passed away. I personally don't use it because I do not believe in an afterlife and I think passed on/away or just passed has religious connotations. I think the term "passed" is in common usage in USA. I agree that it is totally a personal choice, and bereavement is difficult enough to bear without worrying about terminology.

I see nothing wrong with not liking such euphemisms, or even saying so in a discussion like this (though I can't see how on earth anyone would be 'offended' by them!), but of course it would be incredibly rude to say so to someone who has just used one!

To true

Sorry if you were offended PECS, my comment was not a reaction to your OP but to the post by Nannarose

I did not make it clear enough , sorry. I was referring to media announcements. I had just read an article about the death of a local person which referred to his "sad passing". I am not diminishing the pain or trauma we feel when our loved ones die or forcing anyone to use any phrase. I just wondered if I was the only person to find the increasing use of death euphemisms irritating. Sorry to have restarted an already talked about topic. Thank you to those who were kind enough to respond and not be snappy.

Why would passed offend anyone ?

It's completely beyond me why anyone would be offended by "passed" - why?????

Surely it only concerns the person using the word, whatever they are most comfortable with. Personally I find that viewpoint quite rude.

Yes, it is just down to personal preference. We all have them, and we can all rub along fine.
I suppose the most offensive thing to me would be if someone questioned my choice of words to my face.

Sometimes I feel saying my Mum is dead is just so flipping hard. I use whatever I am able to verbalise at the time, if it offends the person I am speaking with, I cannot help that. The fact that she is dead and I have lost the best friend and one person in my life that was always on mine and my sisters side is hard enough to cope with on a daily basis.

Although I agree in principle it's a personal choice, the result is that kindly people find themselves using "passed" as they don't want to offend. I loathe it, and only use it if the person I am talking to uses it, which is more and more.....
I am fairly laid back about language, but my plain speaking mother thought euphemisms unhelpful and sometimes harmful.
I feel it will just creep in because saying "died" to someone who is upset by the word seems impolite and unkind. It also feels slightly off the wall to tell people that I am offended by the term "passed" although those close to me know.

Same here MissAdventure, I say she is dead but I also say - she is as peace now, no matter what the pain is the same