AIBU to think this is pathetic?

When I go out with friends we always split the bill equally; I have to say I always lose out as I am a vegetarian and usually those dishes are at least £2 less than the standard menu, I prefer water with my meals, and never have a dessert. My true share is in reality around five pounds less than the 'equal sharing' but I have never said anything and really don't mind too much ; I would hate bickering about who pays what.

OMG what a nerve Grannyknot

Five friends and I meet up for dinner once s month. We split the bill equally and round it up a bit to include a tip. I just can’t be bothered with messing about with the odd couple of pounds. If one person drives and hasn’t had a drink, we reduce their bill and split the rest.

I go out regularly with a friend who drives--I don't. When we lunch I pay for the drinks/coffee and we split equally the meal. I occasionally pay for both if we have a light lunch --toastie or similar. Running a car is expensive and I am wondering if this is enough. When I lived in London and had a lift I always popped some cash in the glove compartment but it isn't appropriate with this friend.

Having been stung for extra by those in the group who leave early ( ‘here is what I owe’ conveniently forgetting the service charge and their drink(s)) we now divi up the food costs and get drinks individually - restsurants don’t like it but it means the drinks and drinks service charge, which are difficult to keep track of, arn’t added to the final bill for the few that are left to pay

I eat out regularly with 2 separate groups of friends.We are fortunate to have lovely pub meals around here in Derbyshire costing between £5 & £7
In the 1st group we each go to the bar and order / pay for own. No problem

The other group is mainly elderly and infirm ladies and they are hilarious. We inform the landlord before hand and negotiate a set price of £10 with them for a 2 course meal with 2 choices, There's usually more than 10 of us and for many of the ladies, this is their only monthly outing. It is always the same car drivers who go around picking up those without transport but you do have to watch out because especially the portly ones like to swing on the car door when getting in or getting out of the car. There is never any question of offering to share the cost of fuel. They must think cars run on fresh air.
These outings are hilarious. Some of the ladies forget what they have ordered between the final order being given to the waitress and it arriving. They chunter with each other that they haven't got what they ordered and point out who it is that is eating their meal - probably because the other choice looks more tasty than the one they have got. Some of them bring a plastic bag with them to take what is left home for their tea.
On one occasion, 1 lady went home in a coat that must have been 2 sizes too big and when the other one went for her coat , the buttons wouldn't fasten! The 1st lady had left and we didn't have her address with us.
We have got around the 'tip' scenario by adding £1 to each person's bill - so no falling out there.
Drinks are a different matter, we always have jugs of water on the table and anything else has to be paid for separately.
Reading this it may sound like a nightmare but it isn't and if we didn't do it some of these ladies would be completely housebound.
I could see them falling out if one person had to pay more than £1.50 than the others.

I would be happy to split the bill if it was for only a few pounds. But when we used to go out with a particular group of workmates ,two to three of them would order the most expensive food and drinks and keep on drinking , because they knew the bill was going to be split and it spoiled the evening a bit . And they never wanted to leave anything for the tip just a few pence , leaving others to make it up .

I’m don’t know why it’s necessarily greedy to order the most expensive thing on the menu, razz.
We went out for fish & chips on Monday with friends. MrA and I had haddock and chips (£7.50) and some of the others had sole (£9).
Is that greedy?
As it happens, at the suggestion of the person who had organised the lunch we all paid for what we had, but it wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest if we’d just split the bill.
We sometimes go to each others’ houses for meals. I don’t sit down and calculate how much the others must have spent on food before deciding what to cook for them.

I detest this 'let's pay our own bill'. It's embarrassing. When I go out with friends we decide beforehand that we will split the bill evenly. Usually if one has something more expensive then they just put a little extra in, or pay the tip.

Oh I had that happen recently Jalima. There are two of them and only one of me but we still split the bill. But this time they brought her sister who was staying with them so they got three meals to my one.

I’m not sure if they realised or not!

Eglantine I'm finding it extremely hard to imagine they didn't realise. It sounds as if this is a regular thing (your words "this time"), in which case I'd stake my life that they have always been aware that they get twice as much as you for the same outlay. Time to speak up I reckon, as it looks to me as if they're just taking advantage of your good nature.

Tips are what you decide to give and nothing to do with anyone else. If you are fond of this person look to her good points and put this split the bill meanness down to the fact that none of us is perfect and we all have our faults. Have a good time.

Drinking a driving? Surely not!

True friends never count the cost.

FB-type “friends” may show they’re not true friends.

On the other side of the coin, you go out with friends and they order the most expensive meals knowing the bill is going to be split . You have a modest meal and end up paying for other people's greed.

When I was working, a group of us went out for lunch every Friday lunchtime to a local pub. Sometimes four and sometimes six of us. We always split the bill by however many were there. Sometimes someone had a more expensive choice and drink but over the weeks/year it evened out. Very petty to do otherwise and if I was you I wouldn't go out with this woman again!

I don't mind sharing the bill but it does annoy me when one diner goes to town and orders the most expensive things on the menu and drinks like a fish. I try not to associate with this person but sometimes it can't be avoided.

We had almost the opposite problem. We often invite our adult children or parents-in-law to join us for a meal and we expect to pay as it's our invitation, but there was always a tussle at the end of the night with others wanting to pay their share. We are now very explicit when we give invitations and it's working quite well. Our local carvery has a till that does 'Dutch' payments, so if we're with my parents-in-law the bill is split equally; if we're eating locally with our whole family or just the (adult) children we pay for food and everyone chips in for drinks and tips - and if it's a celebration meal then the invitee pays for the lot with no arguments.
One of my children has in-laws whose income is about four times ours, but they would argue over a sixpence. I think it's not so much pathetic, as demonstrating a meanness of spirit.

When I was working we often used to go out for meals, usually 12 to 20 of us. One woman always insisted on itemising everything she had ordered and just paying for that. It wasn't so much the money, it was the fact that the calculations took so long. The rest of us just wanted to split the bill and go. She was always ready to take offence at the slightest thing so there was nothing we could say to her.

I don't think you should be expected to jenpax.

I prefer each paying their own bill as I find this fairer; I am usually on my own, and as a vegetarian my main courses are often cheaper, plus I don’t have a starter but usually the cheese board for desert and no alcohol.so I would not be happy paying for the steak and whiskey drinkers etc

I wonder if it is the same sister Eglantine!

Personally, I like to just split the bill. I don't order the most expensive thing on the menu and neither do my friends. I certainly wouldn't argue about £1.50.

I think you're right.

When we're out with a large group, we have a scale for alcohol consumption. It's always a laugh to decide whether you're a 1 or a 4 for example. The food bill is shared equally, the alcohol bill split in the way described so that light/non drinkers pay very little, those who plough their way through bottles of wine pay the bulk of the alcohol bill.

Very annoying, and in any case we always round it up a bit and the over spend is the tip.....all a bit mean and petty.
But everyone should contribute....tacking on a plus one is not playing the game.

I go out with what was originally a large group but has declined to usually six or seven. We had three members who always insisted on splitting the bill, but always had more courses, more expensive food and several bottles of wine, which all went on the bill. Eventually it was decided by some brave souls that we would have separate bills, but these three still try to get the bill divided , always to their advantage, and sneer at those who don't want to. This is why the group shrank by half.

Oh I had that happen recently Jalima. There are two of them and only one of me but we still split the bill. But this time they brought her sister who was staying with them so they got three meals to my one.

I’m not sure if they realised or not!