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AIBU to think this is pathetic?

(90 Posts)
cherrypicker Wed 08-Aug-18 16:07:21

A group of us went out for dinner to a local pub last night. There was a set price meal deal and we ordered drinks to go with the food. When the bill came one of the friends and I assumed we would split it three ways but the other insisted we paid for what we each had because her drink was cheaper (by £1.50!)

I am all for paying my own way and being fair but this seems ridiculous (and she is better off than me and our other friend so it wasn't a case of watching the pennies. Mind you maybe this is why she is better off)

PageTurner Wed 08-Aug-18 16:12:51

I hate when that happens. Asking for separate bills before ordering is the way to go, if the restaurant accepts this.

Nonnie Wed 08-Aug-18 16:16:09

Don't go out with her again! I never socialise with people who do that, it just isn't friendly. If eating out with others I always make a point of not having anything which is particularly expensive but, apart from that I just have what I like and split the bill.

The thing I find most difficult is the tip, how to split that? We all have different ideas of how much to tip so I usually end up putting more in than others. Wish it was like Japan where no one expects to be tipped and the service is excellent.

Grannyknot Wed 08-Aug-18 16:18:58

Some people are just like that (it is pathetic though).

My best story about a similar scenario was us out to dinner with our teenage children (our son was dating their daughter) and when it came to paying, they said "Let's split the bill" - and then pulled out a 50% discount voucher for the restaurant, which was to be applied to their half of the bill! confused

Cool or what!

Eloethan Wed 08-Aug-18 16:34:13

Ridiculous. As for tips, if I think people haven't contributed, I just put in more myself. I can't be bothered to discuss it.

BlueBelle Wed 08-Aug-18 16:37:11

Most of my friends I go out with opt to pay for themselves but splitting the bill wouldn’t bother me either, unless one person had loads more Lot of places we eat at you just go to the till and pay your bit yourself
I did go out once to an ‘extended family plus their friends’ do and they split the bill which was grossly unfair as they d had loads of alcohol and much more expensive dishes than us we only had water (by choice I don’t mean we were given bread and water) 😂

Oldwoman70 Wed 08-Aug-18 16:45:38

As I have to drive home along dark country lanes I don't drink alcohol at all when out for a meal. I always suggest we split the bill but my friends (who do drink) insist on splitting only the food element and paying for the drinks themselves.

OldMeg Wed 08-Aug-18 16:47:15

Yes, cherry that is pathetic I agree.

rubytut Wed 08-Aug-18 17:13:19

It was pathetic in this case as it was such a small amount but maybe it is something she always does. I only pay for my self when out with a group as I do not drink and I have friends that like expensive drinks with a meal and I am not part of a couple, there are 3 couples and me and when the bill is split 4 ways I could easily be asked for £75,the cost of a couples meal and drinks,when mine would have been about £25.

Grammaretto Wed 08-Aug-18 17:14:49

I think you should have discussed this in advance to save embarrassment. I have sometimes felt awkward about ordering if l don't know how we are going to split the biĺl.
I have also been annoyed when it ends up far more expensive due to others drinking alcohol.
I love when I don't see the bill and someone else pays.
As you say OP, maybe this is why she is better

Jane10 Wed 08-Aug-18 17:21:03

It really is difficult especially with larger groups. I was once left having to pay a £70 excess on top of my share due to a couple ordering the most expensive wines, not sharing them, estimating how much they should pay and leaving early.
I couldn't put that on to the others as they were very considerably worse off than the inconsiderate twosome.

janeainsworth Wed 08-Aug-18 17:23:02

£1.50 is a silly amount to be so petty about.

On the other hand, I recently went out in a group of 8 and some of us drank considerably more than the rest of us blush, who either didn’t drink, or were driving.
We offered to pay more to cover the cost of the drinks, this was agreed and we all had a very pleasant evening.

HAZBEEN Wed 08-Aug-18 17:31:53

When I go out with friends we always try to have "the discussion" beforehand to save embarassment. But £1.50?!
Next time you are with this person just say I will be paying for myself in a pointed way!

ginny Wed 08-Aug-18 17:57:19

Yes, it is a case if judging who you are with. Normally we are happy to split the bill but occasionally we have been caught out paying far over the odds for what we have actually had.
Last week we went for drinks at a local pub wit some other couples . There was a kitty and each couple ended up putting in around £45. This meant I ended up paying that much for a gin and tonic, 2 cokes and a coffee !

Jalima1108 Wed 08-Aug-18 18:04:37

No, you are not BU.
However, we have been out with friends several times and split the bill quite happily, but recently they have brought a plus one on a few occasions - and we are expected to split the bill without any contribution from the extra person (who is not hard up by any means).

Eglantine21 Wed 08-Aug-18 18:13:00

Oh I had that happen recently Jalima. There are two of them and only one of me but we still split the bill. But this time they brought her sister who was staying with them so they got three meals to my one.

I’m not sure if they realised or not!

eazybee Wed 08-Aug-18 19:26:16

I go out with what was originally a large group but has declined to usually six or seven. We had three members who always insisted on splitting the bill, but always had more courses, more expensive food and several bottles of wine, which all went on the bill. Eventually it was decided by some brave souls that we would have separate bills, but these three still try to get the bill divided , always to their advantage, and sneer at those who don't want to. This is why the group shrank by half.

HildaW Wed 08-Aug-18 19:33:59

Very annoying, and in any case we always round it up a bit and the over spend is the tip.....all a bit mean and petty.
But everyone should contribute....tacking on a plus one is not playing the game.

Iam64 Wed 08-Aug-18 19:47:12

When we're out with a large group, we have a scale for alcohol consumption. It's always a laugh to decide whether you're a 1 or a 4 for example. The food bill is shared equally, the alcohol bill split in the way described so that light/non drinkers pay very little, those who plough their way through bottles of wine pay the bulk of the alcohol bill.

Melanieeastanglia Wed 08-Aug-18 20:21:11

Personally, I like to just split the bill. I don't order the most expensive thing on the menu and neither do my friends. I certainly wouldn't argue about £1.50.

I think you're right.

Jalima1108 Wed 08-Aug-18 20:58:31

I wonder if it is the same sister Eglantine!

jenpax Wed 08-Aug-18 21:23:26

I prefer each paying their own bill as I find this fairer; I am usually on my own, and as a vegetarian my main courses are often cheaper, plus I don’t have a starter but usually the cheese board for desert and no I would not be happy paying for the steak and whiskey drinkers etc

Iam64 Wed 08-Aug-18 21:33:56

I don't think you should be expected to jenpax.

Deedaa Wed 08-Aug-18 22:34:02

When I was working we often used to go out for meals, usually 12 to 20 of us. One woman always insisted on itemising everything she had ordered and just paying for that. It wasn't so much the money, it was the fact that the calculations took so long. The rest of us just wanted to split the bill and go. She was always ready to take offence at the slightest thing so there was nothing we could say to her.

grannyactivist Thu 09-Aug-18 08:55:15

We had almost the opposite problem. We often invite our adult children or parents-in-law to join us for a meal and we expect to pay as it's our invitation, but there was always a tussle at the end of the night with others wanting to pay their share. We are now very explicit when we give invitations and it's working quite well. Our local carvery has a till that does 'Dutch' payments, so if we're with my parents-in-law the bill is split equally; if we're eating locally with our whole family or just the (adult) children we pay for food and everyone chips in for drinks and tips - and if it's a celebration meal then the invitee pays for the lot with no arguments.
One of my children has in-laws whose income is about four times ours, but they would argue over a sixpence. I think it's not so much pathetic, as demonstrating a meanness of spirit.