AIBU...to expect my friend to leave her dog at home?

We have been really lucky with our dog who was five months old when we got him from a rescue centre. Food is very important to him so he learnt early on that he'd get a biscuit when we were going out and would wait outside the room where we keep his crate (with duvet and pillow!!) for that biscuit and he settles contentedly for a good few hours - no sound from him apparently. I sometimes think he wishes we'd go out more often he's so keen on that biscuit. I do think a crate helps to make him feel safe and comfortable but I don't suppose it suits all dogs..some might feel trapped. They are all unique.

I think a worse problem than this is people who have a cat, insist it must be kept indoors all the time, have a litter tray on show and the house stinks of cat wee.

Sit in the garden in the lovely sunshine and enjoy the company.

I am genuinely allergic to dogs and cats so have the perfect excuse if anybody wants to bring a dog (other than a guide dog etc.) to my home.

This has given me an idea. Perhaps you could tell a white lie and say you are allergic! Some people may think this approach is wrong but it might be a way round the situation without causing upset.

I am genuinely allergic to dogs and cats so have the perfect excuse if anybody wants to bring a dog (other than a guide dog etc.) to my home.

This has given me an idea. Perhaps you could tell a white lie and say you are allergic! Some people may think this approach is wrong but it might be a way round the situation without causing upset.

I am genuinely allergic to dogs and cats so have the perfect excuse if anybody wants to bring a dog (other than a guide dog etc.) to my home.

This has given me an idea. Perhaps you could tell a white lie and say you are allergic! Some people may think this approach is wrong but it might be a way round the situation without causing upset.

I am genuinely allergic to dogs and cats so have the perfect excuse if anybody wants to bring a dog (other than a guide dog etc.) to my home.

This has given me an idea. Perhaps you could tell a white lie and say you are allergic! Some people may think this approach is wrong but it might be a way round the situation without causing upset.

Thanks seacliffe it’s lovely that you’ve seen a PAT dog in action. I could tell you some tales of heartwarming moments taking him round various homes. One in particular, a young man with crippling injuries and brain damage who was habitually twitching and agitated, who calmed right down when Murphy was placed on his lap.

Old Meg. Re your PAT dog. Today my ukule group were playing for a group of older people being given a day out at a centre.

There was a small, well behaved and supervised cute little dog in attendance, and anyone who wanted could pet or cuddle him. It was lovely to see the people really enjoying a fuss with him, their faces lit up and they looked so happy.

I think we get that Luckygirl

Unfortunately I have experience of lots of dogs!! - including one that my parents had. He was revolting, humping your leg at every available opportunity!! - yuk!!

I then worked in a profession that meant I did lots of home visits. I had dogs peeing in my handbag; huge alsatians crashing growling at the door of the room we were in; dogs leaping onto my lap and slobbering in my face (more yuk!); bitten ankles - all enough to put you off!

The rule was that the bigger the dogs, the more aggressive the owner.

Eventually I would tell people before I visited that if they wanted me to come round and help them, then any dogs they had must be shut in another room.

I do understand how dogs can be companions for some people - but definitely not for me!!

The dog I lost in February was 15+. He was made welcome wherever we went together. He was invited up onto beds, onto sofas and into living areas. He was trained and well behaved, clean, non-shedding, didn’t cock his leg on the furniture, loved to snuggle up on a cost lap and didn’t mind the residents slipping him the odd treat.

He was a PAT dog and gave a lots of pleasure to lonely old people and profoundly disabled young people.

We have cats who generally have the run of our house. If someone said they wanted us to put the cats away my response would be, "You can put up with them or you can listen to them whine." That said, if we're away for an extended period, we do leave them home and get someone to feed them. (We visited the UK for 2 weeks in the fall - we live in Canada. At the time we only had 2 cats so arranged to leave them with my parents who also had 2 cats. Now we have three cats and my brother is living with my parents and has a cat, so we get someone to care for them - can't have six cats in the house!) Personally I wouldn't allow a dog in the house, but that's only because one of our cats is afraid of dogs. (One was around a dog when he was a kitten and the other tried to make friends with a dog once; we suspect the latter might actually think he IS a dog.)

She loves the dog, and doesn't want to leave it.

She is the one who will always be driving to visit you.

If you could just do a small journey by taxi and meet at her at a garden centre quite near you, that might be a compromise for you both.

The alternative is, you are honest with her and say you definitely don't want the dog coming. You risk her being upset and not seeing you at all, but that may well happen anyway by the sound of things.

Well all I can say luckygirl is you have never experienced a dog and I hope from your comments you never do! I dont suggest anybody should accept a dog into their homes but if you have a dog ... it is very much part of the family! Nothing mystifying about it at all.

I am staggered by the lengths that people go to keep a dog in their lives - quite amazing! I am blown away!

No you are reasonable to expect your home to be dog free if that is what you want.
We have a small well behaved dog who goes everywhere with us....we even bought a campervan so he can holiday with his family.
All dogs suffer some degree of separation distress when left alone. If we eat out and he can't come because the venue isn't dog friendly he manages for an hour or two in the car..where it's familiar. If it is dog friendly he lies quietly under the table.
When we must leave him we use a dog sitter who he knows and loves. He's still rather unhappy and won't eat much, pines and looses his bounce...but I do not expect to take him to the doctors , hospital appointments, dentists etc. so if a friend can't tolerate dogs the dog sitter would be used. We love him, he's a member of our family and we want to be with him and miss him when we're separate.

No, OldMeg, when they last came the dog seemed to be fine - didn't bark, howl or damage the furniture, but they didn't like being parted from him.

BTW by 'flea ridden' I meant rid of fleas, not full of them bahaha x

I take my dog most places with me. I don't 'enforce' him on anyone who doesn't want him though so if people say no, I just don't go or do as others suggest; meet in dog friendly places.

I would add my dog is very well behaved, doesn't shed hair and doesn't pee in the house

No reason anybody should put up with a dog but also no reason a person with a dog should leave it behind if its what they want to do.

I guess it depends on the dog and how much you want your friend to visit your house then eh?

My dog doesn't normally sleep in the bedroom but when we go on holiday, to dog friendly hotels, he does! I can't see a problem with dogs in bedrooms so long as they are flea ridden lol. After all, the way I look at it is....kids make ten times more mess!

One of my daughters has a very large German Shepherd and I adore him, love him to visit, but after about half an hour he starts giving sharp little yaps, which means he wants to go home. My son`s 2 Siberian huskies are an untrained pain in the rear, I`d hate them to come visiting.

Oh dear the embarrassment cavewoman there is not much you can do in that situation is there. Just apologise profusely and beat a hasty retreat. I feel for you ?

I've had dogs all my life, always trained to stay on their own, though the longest recommended time is 4 hours. One of my current dogs has taken 3 years to get to that point so my heart goes out to anyone struggling, even the best of trainers can encounter that one difficult dog. He used to go to dog creche if we had to go out. Now he can be left with no problem, but it's always been that I would never take my dog into someone else's home but I'm afraid you would have to accept them in their own home.

GrandmaKT if their dog was put into the kitchen or utility room and he was used to sleeping in their bedroom, wouldn’t he just bark and howl all night?

My sister and I have come to an impasse over this. I am more than happy for them to bring their dog with them when they visit. (They live a long way away so always visit for at least two nights). However, they insist that the dog has to sleep in their bedroom with them and I just can't stomach that! I'm happy to accommodate him in the kitchen or utility. They refuse to put the dog in kennels or leave it with friends or relatives, so as things stand they just won't visit.