Why am I embarrassed?

I had lodgers once, and one guy who had his girlfriend visiting was so overactive with her that a bit of the ceiling below started hanging down and I had to replaster the wall where he'd driven her knees through it! I gave him notice.

We had this problem when in a ground floor flat, daughter a teenager; above her room was a couple having very audible sex, she absolutely hated it. I looked into sound insulation but it seems to be the case that noise travels down, as well as through, walls, so it's very difficult. I also thought wall-sized bookcases might help. Very best of luck. Some people are really very selfish, if they realise you can hear.

Marieeliz You poor girl! This is horrible! It seems wrong to me that you should have to buy sound-proofing or use earplugs (they always hurt my ears or make them itchy) when it is not you who is making the problem.

If nobody has caused such interference with your sleep before, including children next door, it sounds to me as if they are exceeding the noise level which is acceptable between neighbours. There are many web pages of advice mainly aimed at noisy neighbours, almost all citing parties as the cause. I found www.problemneighbours.co.uk/noisy-neighbours.html quite good. It advises speaking to the neighbours calmly and politely first. But it does say;
"However, no one has the legal right to make someone else’s life a misery through excessive noise, so don't feel guilty about Contacting Your Local Environmental Health Department or even the police, if you strongly suspect that by confronting the issue directly yourself, you could be putting yourself at risk of harm in any way."

You need your sleep. You say you have lived in your house for some time with different neighbours and had no problems. This, to me, is a good indication that you have neighbours now who are exceeding the noise level that is acceptable.

Try to ignore the content of the noise. The fact that it is their sex life that is noisy is not relevant. It is the noise level that matters.

I do hope you get some good results soon. Wishing you lots of luck and some good sleep!

Ravel's Bolero might even speed up the tempo and get the whole thing over sooner.

Play Ravel's Bolero very loudly.

You could try knocking on the wall at the most inopportune moment whilst mimicking her?

Actually I know this is not really funny and can be so annoying and yes embarrassing also.

I did chuckle though remembering a small hotel some years ago where the noise from above was deafening, not only screaming but bed squeaking and ceiling shaking... It went on literally for hours! My old aunt even got up and made a cup of tea . When it quietened down she said....thank God ..but then it started up again and always one up for a laugh auntie said I've got the MEET this stud.

Next morning at breakfast she worked out who it was (Miss Marple has nothing on auntie) and we were surprised to find they had a child in the room
with them. Auntie smilingly asked the child if his daddy was hard of hearing (hoping the man would get the message) but the child piped up "He's not my daddy, my daddy is in prison" Exit auntie leaving some red faces but it appeared to cure the nocturnal noises - probably fell out and left ha ha ha.

We played Airplanes at War full blast. Soon stopped their noise. In fact most of the neighbours were looking skywards

When I was in an upstairs flat, my neighbour told me she could hear everything.
She said "and yes, I do mean EVERYTHING!"

Marieeliz there's an app you can get that plays white noise. My DD has used it for the DGC to block out noise from within and without the house. Not sure what it's called but have a look on the store for whichever OS you're on (iStore or Google Play?)

Bookcases make good sound insulation.

I often go to bed with radio or listening book on, which switches itself off after an hour

I'd play Je t'aime. followed by the 1812 Symphony followed by William Tell and after a fifteen minutes pause the crying baby. Perhaps drop a few bottles into the recycling after the baby recording has finished. By then they should be thoroughly aware of what it is like to be kept awake by noisy neighbours.

Oh dear Marie. I’ve a similar house to yours, yes, it is so embarrassing. If you have a next door but one neighbour presumably they’ll hear it too. In my case when I mentioned the ‘man sex’ [the guy next door and his boyf sounded like grunting bears!] to my NDB1 neighbours, they seemed relieved that they weren't the only ones hearing it and said they’d bang on the wall and presumably did because it went much quieter. Also my neighbours who used to live at the other side were having a regular Sunday afternoon session with the bedroom window wide open when my daughter visited. We sat in the garden, the familiar sounds started, daughter turned to me and in her usual loud, clear voice, said, ‘What’s that noise?’ It stopped instantly. Then she exclaimed in same usual loud, clear voice, ‘Well THAT didn’t last very long!’ Problem solved! It still makes me giggle.

NB the above is a joke not an incitement to crime! (just in case)

When you know they're out, drill through the wall and plant a small camera. You can make a fortune selling the videos and then you will have enough money to move out.

Haha I love Bathsheba's suggestion of Je t'Aime, along with all the other ones of applauding and cheering at the appropriate time lol

How upsetting and annoying for you, lack of sleep and neighbour noise problems (whatever the cause) are a real problem for many, many people.

Lots a good ideas here, I like the white noise and playing music best. Wish I’d thought about these when I had similar problems with a neighbour when I lived in a flat years ago. I just struggled on in muffled embarrassment until the noisy couple moved on! ? ?

I have a white noise machine for noisy neighbours, although in their case its throwing bottles in the recycling bin next to my bedroom window, one by one, half the night. Its brilliant and has almost solved the problem. I top it up occasionally with ear plugs on really bad nights. However it wouldnt necessarily work for the noise of the bed galloping across the floor, because that is vibration through the fabric of the houses, rather than air born noise. I use the white noise machine whenever I travel too and its a familiar sound when you are in a strange bed to lull you off to sleep.

I would record it and pop a copy of it through the letter box for them to play back. It would make the point without either neighbour admitting who did the recording.

If they've come back from the pub they might be more oblivious to the noise they're making. I think the best idea is to wait until they stop (and get their breath) then make some very loud cheering noises. At least then they'll know you know and embarrassment might kick in and they do it downstairs. I've had disturbing noise from my neighbours for 20 years but because of the kids so a bit different.

A bit too much wondering in my last post I fear!

Would it be different I wonder if your neighbour was in her 20's I wonder?

How long is the actual noise going on for? Would it be so bothersome if the cause was something different or if it happened at a different time? Perhaps your dislike of your neighbour is contributing to make you feel more frustrated than you need to be?

Personally I'd be a bit jealous of someone having great sex right next door to me on account of my low chances of getting some! That'd probably influence my irritation levels too.

This could be an opportunity to practice paying much less attention to something that really is outside your control - there's sure to be many such occasions in future. Maybe it's even preferable to having a group of children shouting and screaming on their trampoline all day or someone who's dog barks consistently.

White noise machines are very effective. My grandchildren live in the middle of an extremely noisy city and while the machine is turned on the noise is definitely less noticeable. One problem with noise is that as soon as you’ve got it into your head, it’s difficult not to hear it.

Bathsheba...brilliant idea

My goodness Nfk Dumpling, you must be a very speedy typist!
I like the idea of the crying baby. Not much they could complain about, as it’s a natural, human noise to drown out their own!

(I learned to touch type to the William Tell Overture)