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AIBU

Why am I embarrassed?

(88 Posts)
Marieeliz Sat 01-Sep-18 10:11:17

Fairly new neighbour late 50's has, over the past couple of months, had a man staying over the weekend. The noise of their sexual activity during the night is making me feel uncomfortable.

Here we are and it is the weekend again, they go to the pub and return late, just as I am trying to go to sleep. I have lived in this house for many years, many tenants some having children whilst living there, but I never heard the noise I have heard with the last two tenants. Are people less inhibited these days.

It is a terraced house and all the bedrooms back onto one another so it is not is if I can move rooms. Cannot say anything jokingly as did not get on with her from her moving in a year ago.

Met up with an ex colleague last week and she is having a similar problem next door to her.

MissAdventure Sat 01-Sep-18 10:14:04

You could buy some earplugs.
Its probably the easiest way to solve the noise problem without any upset.

Marieeliz Sat 01-Sep-18 10:17:48

Yes, have thought about this but a friend said her DIL does this and did not hear a someone attempting to break in, lucky her OH was alert.

I was thinking about a white noise machine, wondered if a google thingy!! would do for this, does anyone know. I saw one in Curry's yesterday for £35. Thought I could just say "Google just play white music" and it would drown it out.

aggie Sat 01-Sep-18 10:22:10

What about recording the shenanigans and playing it back , maybe on a quiet afternoon ? I am joking of course , but the white noise thing might help

Luckygirl Sat 01-Sep-18 10:23:16

You need an iphone with sleep phones which consist of a hair band with flat speakers in that you can lie comfortably on your pillow and hear the music.

The problem you are describing is common in hotel rooms where sexual activity seems to be an integral part of the experience.

If I were you I would cheer very loudly when the activity comes to its climax, so to speak. grin

Anniebach Sat 01-Sep-18 10:26:46

Luckygirl 😀

Riverwalk Sat 01-Sep-18 10:36:57

Why wouldn't you be embarrassed? It is embarrassing to hear other people having sex.

Some years back a rather po-faced doctor was a neighbour for a short time. One night she was having the loudest sex it's possible to have - she shrieked and he grunted for about an hour shock

A week later she turned up as a locum on the ward I was working on - I was tempted to ask her for the chap's phone number.

Nonnie Sat 01-Sep-18 10:56:09

If you have the courage perhaps shout loudly or bang on the wall so they know you hear. They probably have no idea and would hate the thought of you 'eavesdropping'.

Nonnie Sat 01-Sep-18 10:56:46

Or you could make similar loud noises each time so they have an idea of what you are hearing!

JudyJudy12 Sat 01-Sep-18 10:59:30

Do you know the neighbours on the other side? maybe they would speak to them. The couple may be unaware that they can be heard.

Elegran Sat 01-Sep-18 11:19:58

Have your radio beside the bed, and turn it to LOUD when the noise begins. If yu can hear them, they can hear you (or your radio)

starbird Sat 01-Sep-18 11:37:37

From what was said about back to back bedrooms, any way of retaliating with noise might be heard by other neighbours too. I think ear plugs or headphones are the best bet ( i use an earphone in the ear that is not on the pillow, to listen to the radio at night to help me sleep). They surely realise that they can be heard unless they think you are asleep when they start and continue to sleep through it. I think people are less self conscious/ considerate these days. I wonder what they would do if they had children around?

Marieeliz Sat 01-Sep-18 11:55:13

The neighbours on the other side have the stairs and landing together plus the bathroom. The female is deaf, she is quite young forties but has two hearing aids.

I have banged my wardrobe doors a couple of times, but I felt bad about this, I don't know why.It didn't make any difference.

She has a teenage grandson who stays most nights except when lover is there. In fact he seems to live there.

midgey Sat 01-Sep-18 12:07:48

You could buy sound proofing wall paper next time you decorate?

OldMeg Sat 01-Sep-18 12:37:10

Play some music so they know that if they can hear that then you can hear them. I do like the idea of cheering or clapping at the finale though 🤣🤣

jenpax Sat 01-Sep-18 13:04:58

Have a loud conversation with a friend when everyone is out in their gardens so she (neighbour) can over hear saying “gosh these walls are paper thin especially the bedroom ones and I can hear every little thing!🤣”

annep Sat 01-Sep-18 13:55:34

I would knock the door and say is everyone all right. I thought I heard someone in pain? 😊

grandtanteJE65 Sat 01-Sep-18 14:48:35

You could play some music in your bedroom, or turn a radio up quite loud, when there is "activity" on the other side of the party wall.

Your neighbour may genuinely not have realised that they can be heard.

stella1949 Sat 01-Sep-18 14:59:27

Presumably the "activity" doesn't last all night ? I'd suggest that you get some sleep earphones for your iPhone or iPad and play some nice music or meditation sounds for a certain amount of time - an hour perhaps - to cover the duration of the next-door activities. Good luck.

MargaretX Sat 01-Sep-18 15:52:08

You could perhaps play a drum solo CD.

We once had a flat and the couple underneath were usually quiet except on Father's Day.

Bathsheba Sat 01-Sep-18 16:35:39

Perhaps as soon as it begins, play this at full volume

Melanieeastanglia Sat 01-Sep-18 19:24:39

I have noticed this in hotels. I suppose that is a temporary thing that you can laugh off.

I think I'd be inclined to ignore it. Perhaps put your radio on as the "disturbance" starts and they will hear it and realise you can hear them.

chelseababy Sat 01-Sep-18 19:36:13

Alexa does have several white noise apps you can enable

NanKate Sat 01-Sep-18 19:40:20

I would stand close to the wall and blow a whistle very loudly.

Cherrytree59 Sat 01-Sep-18 20:37:06

My sister had a thin wall problem (modern semi)

At 4am every day the neighbour's alarm would go off even when they were on holiday.

Her solution was to fix a grid-work of 2by2 ply on the dividing wall with soft insulation material in between which she then plaster boarded over.

The wall was professionally plastered.

Problem solved!