Changes in our Society

Couples living apart to gain more benefits. The Guardian includes several posts laying out the additional financial benefit of doing this.

Then, in the same newspaper, you can read about the dire housing shortage without any of their esteemed journalists making a connection between these two phenomena.

It’s as if our society has become “get as much as we can out of our fellow taxpayers”.

When my mother got married in the mid-1930s she took off her wedding ring each day so that she could go to work and contribute to the family finances.

I am old enough to remember being turned down for a job because I am a woman. At least now that cannot be an overt reason.

My divorce was the first in our extended family. But that’s not to say that the whole family were happily married because it was common knowledge that they weren’t . Older people just seemed to put up with it rather than facing the shame of divorce .

Another fart here!

people could get confused and think we're all sailors going in for the Fastnet race

Perhaps we should rename Gransnet 'OldFartsNet'

That would be a more inclusive name for men, too.

?

Gransnet has officially got the farts..

Another boring old fart here ?

Yes well said I agree with you too Jalima.

Exactly, MissAdventure I agree with all you have said & if that makes us boring old farts we should be proud of it . ?

I think the biggest difference is the number of families who split or mothers who bring up children alone
Actually, I agree with paddyann and I think that in many cases this can result in poverty which could be why it is on the increase.

I've just been to a talk by someone who works with women who have been the subject of abuse by a partner and, of course, they do need support to get out of this type of relationship. It is damaging to stay in a relationship like that and for the children who are being brought up in such a household.

However, I do think that what Bridgeit says, that many people seem to move on if life falls short of their expectations is true.
They may then find that the grass is not always greener.

I think the breakdown in family life has given rise to a lot of issues.
I'm not necessarily talking of divorce, but people who move in and out together, allow boyfriends to discipline their children within a week of knowing them, and all kinds of other things that I disapprove of. (Boring old fart, I know!)

Yes that’s right Annibach, & I think there was more of an acceptance of reality, whereas now many people seem to move on if life falls short of their expectations.

Not all marriages were unhappy because of abuse, love died, even hate seeped in and some marriages just rolled along. Then there were marriages which went through sticky patches and the couple worked through these.

There was a stability, children had two parents.

I am not saying this is how it should be, just this is how it was.

Yes that’s kind of what I meant it was like an - unstable stability - sort of good or bad you knew where you where.
Whereas lots of young people today have to undergo a lot of unsettling changes.

Stable from the outside maybe...

Family life was most certainly not "stable" for the women and children who HAD to stay in bad marriages!

Family life was far more stable , mothers accepted children, husband and home were her priorities , this seems unfair now but it was so.

Women's lives have certainly changed for the better. My mother had to give up her job the day she married my father - they didn't have a child for 6 years and he worked 12 hour days so she stayed home and "looked after the house" ( a little flat) for all those years , because a married woman could not work.

As a midwife in the 60's I saw many, many girls having to give up their babies for adoption because society frowned on single mothers. Now a single girl can get the support she needs - such a good thing.

A woman can walk away from a marriage now - in the past they were expected to stay, no matter how bad things were. Thank heavens that common sense prevails now.

Agree that being able to leave marriages is a change for the better (as someone still with my first/only husband of several decades)

An elderly relative of mine's life began when she was widowed in her late fifties. She had been in an abusive marriage since her teens. She had to marry due to falling pregnant and once married she had to give up her fledgling career.

How awful. Although to her credit she did make the most of her life after widowhood. Today she would have had other choices, and could have lived her WHOLE life, not just the last two decades.

Now its normal to hear of couple calling it a day after a few months ,not even years .

It's hardly normal paddyann to hear of such a thing.

How smug you sound.

I think it is wonderful that people can more easily escape abusive situations these days. Many people who were deeply unhappy must have been forced to stay together years ago, even if no-one was actually abusive. This was not good.

In that sense, I think things have changed for the better but I acknowledge that there are probably some people who separate for reasons that could be sorted out.

It was not right how unmarried mothers were treated years ago.

In general, I think life is better in that people are not always so narrow-minded.

Unemployment is worse these days in lots of areas as jobs become more and more automated.

In general, I think things are better although I know that there are still many people who are having a terrible time one way or another.