Gransnet forums


Changes in our Society

(102 Posts)
Bridgeit Wed 05-Sep-18 19:12:58

Reading the threads regarding poverty,struggling families etc., made me think about the changes in society since we were young ie, Families shared homes, mothers & Grans shared child care & part time jobs ,lots of make dos & home cooking( not necessarily appetising) Tv, cars, holidays were luxuries, rather than the norm.
Families often stayed together out of necessity to survive.
How much has changed & is it for the better.?

paddyann Wed 05-Sep-18 21:22:26

I think the biggest difference is the number of families who split or mothers who bring up children alone.I dont remember anyone having a baby who wasn't married and my sisters divorce was the first in our family in the 90's .
My elder sister has been married 50 years and I've been married 43 years ,our parents were together since they were 12 ( married at 21 ) until Dad died just before he was 70.Now its normal to hear of couple calling it a day after a few months ,not even years .

Melanieeastanglia Wed 05-Sep-18 21:30:51

I think it is wonderful that people can more easily escape abusive situations these days. Many people who were deeply unhappy must have been forced to stay together years ago, even if no-one was actually abusive. This was not good.

In that sense, I think things have changed for the better but I acknowledge that there are probably some people who separate for reasons that could be sorted out.

It was not right how unmarried mothers were treated years ago.

In general, I think life is better in that people are not always so narrow-minded.

Unemployment is worse these days in lots of areas as jobs become more and more automated.

In general, I think things are better although I know that there are still many people who are having a terrible time one way or another.

Riverwalk Wed 05-Sep-18 21:33:32

Now its normal to hear of couple calling it a day after a few months ,not even years .

It's hardly normal paddyann to hear of such a thing.

How smug you sound.

notanan2 Wed 05-Sep-18 21:37:12

Agree that being able to leave marriages is a change for the better (as someone still with my first/only husband of several decades)

An elderly relative of mine's life began when she was widowed in her late fifties. She had been in an abusive marriage since her teens. She had to marry due to falling pregnant and once married she had to give up her fledgling career.

How awful. Although to her credit she did make the most of her life after widowhood. Today she would have had other choices, and could have lived her WHOLE life, not just the last two decades.

stella1949 Wed 05-Sep-18 21:42:27

Women's lives have certainly changed for the better. My mother had to give up her job the day she married my father - they didn't have a child for 6 years and he worked 12 hour days so she stayed home and "looked after the house" ( a little flat) for all those years , because a married woman could not work.

As a midwife in the 60's I saw many, many girls having to give up their babies for adoption because society frowned on single mothers. Now a single girl can get the support she needs - such a good thing.

A woman can walk away from a marriage now - in the past they were expected to stay, no matter how bad things were. Thank heavens that common sense prevails now.

Anniebach Wed 05-Sep-18 21:43:48

Family life was far more stable , mothers accepted children, husband and home were her priorities , this seems unfair now but it was so.

notanan2 Wed 05-Sep-18 21:44:53

Family life was most certainly not "stable" for the women and children who HAD to stay in bad marriages!

notanan2 Wed 05-Sep-18 21:48:09

Stable from the outside maybe...

Bridgeit Wed 05-Sep-18 22:22:09

Yes that’s kind of what I meant it was like an - unstable stability - sort of good or bad you knew where you where.
Whereas lots of young people today have to undergo a lot of unsettling changes.

Anniebach Wed 05-Sep-18 22:24:30

Not all marriages were unhappy because of abuse, love died, even hate seeped in and some marriages just rolled along. Then there were marriages which went through sticky patches and the couple worked through these.

There was a stability, children had two parents.

I am not saying this is how it should be, just this is how it was.

Bridgeit Wed 05-Sep-18 22:34:11

Yes that’s right Annibach, & I think there was more of an acceptance of reality, whereas now many people seem to move on if life falls short of their expectations.

MissAdventure Wed 05-Sep-18 22:41:51

I think the breakdown in family life has given rise to a lot of issues.
I'm not necessarily talking of divorce, but people who move in and out together, allow boyfriends to discipline their children within a week of knowing them, and all kinds of other things that I disapprove of. (Boring old fart, I know!)

Jalima1108 Wed 05-Sep-18 22:46:50

I think the biggest difference is the number of families who split or mothers who bring up children alone
Actually, I agree with paddyann and I think that in many cases this can result in poverty which could be why it is on the increase.

I've just been to a talk by someone who works with women who have been the subject of abuse by a partner and, of course, they do need support to get out of this type of relationship. It is damaging to stay in a relationship like that and for the children who are being brought up in such a household.

However, I do think that what Bridgeit says, that many people seem to move on if life falls short of their expectations is true.
They may then find that the grass is not always greener.

Bridgeit Wed 05-Sep-18 22:50:01

Exactly, MissAdventure I agree with all you have said & if that makes us boring old farts we should be proud of it . ?

MissAdventure Wed 05-Sep-18 22:52:26


Bridgeit Wed 05-Sep-18 22:55:24

Yes well said I agree with you too Jalima.

Jalima1108 Wed 05-Sep-18 22:58:40

Another boring old fart here ?

MissAdventure Wed 05-Sep-18 23:01:01

Gransnet has officially got the farts..

Bridgeit Wed 05-Sep-18 23:04:18


Jalima1108 Wed 05-Sep-18 23:08:57

Perhaps we should rename Gransnet 'OldFartsNet'

That would be a more inclusive name for men, too.

Jalima1108 Wed 05-Sep-18 23:10:16

hmm people could get confused and think we're all sailors going in for the Fastnet race

Jane10 Thu 06-Sep-18 06:37:28

Another fart here!

gillybob Thu 06-Sep-18 06:42:16

My divorce was the first in our extended family. But that’s not to say that the whole family were happily married because it was common knowledge that they weren’t . Older people just seemed to put up with it rather than facing the shame of divorce .

absent Thu 06-Sep-18 06:47:02

I am old enough to remember being turned down for a job because I am a woman. At least now that cannot be an overt reason.