He chucked my stuff out!!

If you have a large enough house then set aside one room that is yours alone to do as you like in, as that's probably how he sees the garage "his space" as many men do. Then your hobbies and memorabilia won't be in his way and his old junk won't be in yours lol. Keep it locked if necessary.

This may give some of us something to reflect on as I am sure there are many of us who have sneaked other people's long stored 'clutter' up to the tip.

My latest sin was to remove some branches from an overgrown, in my opinion, rubber plant my husban likes. I turned the pot around and many weeks later he still hasn't noticed.

I totally understand spabbygirl. That dog bed was important to you and had memories. To throw it out while your mum was ill and dying was totally insensitive of your husband. He had no right and it shows a complete lack of respect for your feelings. Whether it is worth considering your marriage is another matter for when you are feeling less emotional about your mum. It sounds as if he isn't normally like this and is now repentant.

Very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother, completely devastating.

Not a good time for your husband to throw away something of yours, but he may have thought that you had enough to contend with at the moment without thinking about sewing.

We are decluttering at the moment and I’ve thrown away a few things which, on reflection, I hope my husband doesn’t have a sentimental attachment to.

Glad your dogs are settled in their beds, I’ve got a lovely dog bed you could have as our dog definitely prefers the sofa or even the cat bed to his own lovely bed! ?

please go and talk to your GP or vicar maybe it sounds like this was the catalyst for what you are going through if he does this reguarly that is time to access whether there is a future or not but you first need to grieve and try to get back to some sort of normality. in grieving you go through stages of anger sadness denial etc

You are not in my opinion being unreasonable. You have just lost your mother. DH may not be on your wavelength at the moment but stand firm. It is /was your choice what to do with the dog bed.

spabbygirl that's why he didn't have a posh bed - a canvas 'camp' bed with old duvets and blankets! Sadly he has gone to doggy heaven now.

If you are a bit of a hoarder (and it sounds like you are!), it might be very hard for your husband to live with the clutter. If he isn't a hoarder by nature, you may not appreciate how it feels for him . Forgive him, it was only a dog bed. If it was in such a state, it wouldn't have been very pleasant to repair either. He may also be dreading that you will bring your mum's possessions back to the house.

Oh what a mischief!!! Mine do it eventually, but straight away is awful! I don't suppose they realise though.

The first thing that one of DD's dogs did if he had new bedding was to shred it
Hope yours doesn't do that!!

Love it Oldmeg - shall chuck hubby out and replace with dogs!!! Great idea Glammama! He will sign up for a top of the range dog bed straight away! Love the other answers a great mix of the fun and the true. Usually DH is a kind, sweet man but I will not have my stuff chucked out without my consent and he is jolly sheepish now and has just forked out for a new - top of the range - clothes rail for me, a new dog bed is next on the list. I do like having pretty things around me & I harbour ambitions of dealing in antiques & he could be chucking out all my stock! I know I am grieving and subject to especially cranky ideas so I won't do anything drastic but he has to know there are some things up with which I will not put!!! Thanks all, for bringing a bit of normality to me, I meant to say, we have 4 dog beds for our 5 dogs who are rather spoilt and loved and will be moving onto DH's side of the bed if we have a repeat of this incident!

Ooh, I'm afraid I've been on the other side. DH was a terrible hoarder, every magazine, every paperback, every screw, nail, off-cut of wood. I used to move a few magazines at a time from sitting room to study, then if he hadn't missed them after a few weeks to the recycling bin, well hidden at the bottom! I did the same with about thirty years worth of VHS tapes of home recorded programmes - he didn't miss any of them. He was exactly the same with old holey jumpers that he had had since before we were married (in 1972!); I too have made holes bigger and blamed it on the moths! Funnily enough I have not done much clearing out since he died earlier this year....

Sorry you have lost your mum. Ignore the dog bed incident and think about it again in a few weeks. You may then decide you want to discuss it with your OH or you may decide in the scheme of things it doesn't matter. Rest amd have some me time.x

So sorry about the loss of your mum , it sounds as if everything is too much at present just give yourself time. Of course your OH shouldn't throw your things out but as it had got as far as the garage perhaps he thought he was helping out tidying up. Unless there are other factors involved you can't really chuck him out over an old worn out dog basket can you?

Poor dog, hope he/she has a new bed.

My DH gets anxious if I threaten to throw out his old pullovers which have small holes in - but he loves them, horrible old things.
I'm afraid if they look too bad, I put my fingers in the hole and rip the jumper apart then dump it in the bin.

It seems that you discovered the dog bed was missing a few weeks after your OH had thrown it out. What had the dog been sleeping on for all that time? A dog bed made out of such up-market fabric does sound a bit OTT.

You were obviously attached to the tatty old dog bed, but your OH saw it as in the way and chucked it. Im a bit of a "chucker outer" and my OH a bit of a hoarder, and I'm afraid I have chucked some of his stuff out ( after several ultimatums). Fortunately he does realise its only stuff, and has actually started to declutter his old paperback collection and various ancient textbooks. Agree your recent bereavement has meant you feel a heightened attachment to your things, however, if there are other issues in the relationship with your OH maybe they need to be addressed a little way along the line.

Condolences, the loss of a mum is really tough.
It may be 'his house as well' but chucking something away when asked not to, especially if the something is safely stowed out of sight is unkind.
Grief does send our emotions out of kilter. Don't make any hasty decisions in the next few months and be gentle with yourself and those who love you.

Your emotions will be hightened after the loss of your mum,please accept my condolences.
On a much lighter note make your OH pay for a top of the range doggy bed for your pooch and takes no excuses from him.

I totally agree with you OP. You made your wishes quite clear and he acted in a very high handed manner.

I think you should move your dog into your bed as he has now lost his and chuck hubby out.

So sorry to read about your mum though xx

So sorry to hear about the loss of your mum
A bit cryptic I can’t live with him if he keeps chucking my stuff out
Is this one too many is he always throwing your things out?
Are you a bit if a hoarder keeping things way past their sell by date ?
Do you still have a dog if so what is it sleeping on now?
I think you need to concentrate on yourself your mums probate so let it go for now
Really an old tatty dog bed is not something to lose your lifetime partner over is it?

Sorry, I accidentally posted too fast. I meant to say - perhaps, as other posters have suggested, you should leave it a while before making a decision regarding your marriage.

I am very sorry for you regarding the loss of your mother.

You say this incident makes you feel as if you no longer wish to live with your husband. I don't think you should make life-changing decisions on the basis of this one thing. Perhaps he has thrown things out before - naturally, I don't know.

How does he treat you in general terms?

I really do wish you all the very best.

Perhaps, as other posters have suggested,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum spabbygirl; I do expect that your emotions are all over the place at the moment and that small thing just tipped you over the edge.

It's just a dog bed and the sight of it was probably driving your DH crackers.
Where is the dog sleeping? I hope you can find a nice new bed that both you and the dog like.
Sounds like your DH is in the doghouse though - but I would wait and see how you feel when you are feeling less emotional about your bereavement.