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AIBU

He chucked my stuff out!!

(58 Posts)
mcem Sat 08-Sept-18 11:23:06

Can't help wondering if this was a one-off or if he makes a habit of it. If he does it frequently I would make a fuss. If not, then perhaps you could admit to yourself that because you are going through a difficult time you might have over-reacted. Maybe he just made a mistake and regrets it.

spabbygirl Sat 08-Sept-18 11:15:48

Thank you so much all, maybe it isn't about the bed, but I really expect to be able to leave my stuff when I go out and not have it chucked out. Its a good plan not to do anything for 6 months or so, I might need some help with grief at some point, but now I just feel so tired and numb. I guess I just need sleep and rest. I'll pop back later.
Thanks all, smile

Nonnie Sat 08-Sept-18 11:08:47

When we unexpectedly lost someone very close it changed me completely. I no longer see things in grey, they are black or white and I won't put up with stuff I would previously have tolerated. Life is too short. This being so I'm not so sure that it is a simple matter of a dog's bed. It may be that he has to have his own way all the time and this is just one example that has tipped you over the edge.

Think of something he likes and you don't and ask him how he would feel if you threw it away. It is clear to me that the bed had sentimental value to you and he has, at the very least, been insensitive.

Try not to do anything drastic for at least 6 months while you start to get over your loss but then decide what you want to do if this sort of behaviour continues.

I do know what a hard time you are going through and if you are not getting the support you need please contact one of the charities which help the bereaved. flowers

Luckygirl Sat 08-Sept-18 10:51:02

I agree - get a nice new dog bed. It sounds as though it had had its day.

So sorry to hear about your Mum - a difficult time for you.

midgey Sat 08-Sept-18 10:46:18

After loosing your mum your head will be all over the place. In reality you can go and buy a lovely new dog bed, it isn’t about the dog bed. flowers .

MissAdventure Sat 08-Sept-18 10:27:24

You've just lost your mum, so your emotions are probably all over the place.
Possibly your husband thought you had enough to contend with?
My condolences to you; its a difficult time. flowers

Eglantine21 Sat 08-Sept-18 10:23:14

His house too.

Actually I think you need some help. Please try to find a bereavement counsellor. ?

spabbygirl Sat 08-Sept-18 10:18:20

I had a lovely dog bed, green with flowers on from Jules & like a Sanderson fabric. I loved it but it did get tatty, the stuffing was bursting out of the seams, but I knew I could fix it when I had my sewing machine out. That is a palaver when you live in such a small house as this, and my mother has just died so I'm busy doing probate etc. I knew the dog bed was bugging my hubby, so I said I wanted to keep it & would repair it sometime. A few weeks later I said if it was bugging him would he put it in the garage if it was still annoying him. I came back a few days ago to find it not there, and hubby explained he'd put it in the bin a few weeks ago so it had gone to the tip. I'm furious and I've told him I don't want to live with him if he's going to keep chucking my stuff out. I am so cross with him I don't want to talk to him about anything other than essential stuff. We buried my mum yesterday, and I just feel so numb everywhere. AIBU?