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AIBU

Freedom in my house

(77 Posts)
sparkly1000 Sun 16-Sep-18 17:40:56

My two Gds, 4 and 18 months pop in about twice weekly, when I know they are coming I pop a couple of ornaments out of reach, other Gran needs 2 hours notice so that she can cover her furniture with dust sheets and her laminated flooring with cardboard just in case.
Frankly I find this odd and DD says she finds it insulting.
She does not live in a posh house, just ordinary like us.
During the very hot weather recently we often had the little one running around with no clothes or nappy, if there were a little tinkle to me it would not be the end of the world.
Am I being unreasonable to think that this behaviour is odd?

paddyann Mon 17-Sep-18 13:00:53

Its a house Lynne59 my granny used to say it will still be here when you're long gone .She hated my mothers stressing over a newspaper on the sideboard or lifting the saucers from under the cups before she's finished her tea .Two of my sisters are much the same as mum was always a tin of white paint and a brush to hand to cover marks that wont wash off ,not me I'm afraid .I had 3 GD's here all weekend ,it was painting at the kitchen table ,well it was on the floor and the skirting boards and even the curtains .It cleans!!

Jalima1108 Mon 17-Sep-18 13:14:21

When we bought our new suite I bought some nice throws to go over it for when the DGC come although I tend not to bother two years on. I also have a couple of ornaments which go up higher.
It wasn't the DGC who spilled stuff all over the new sofa, it was an adult visitor and then DH!

knickas63 Mon 17-Sep-18 13:29:13

We have a pretty expensive Turkish rug in our living room. Covered in playdough and spilt drinks! I clean up after they have left, but people have always been more important than things to me (the house is a tip by the way! But it is home)

Jalima1108 Mon 17-Sep-18 13:32:49

We have a rug (not that expensive) and it is a 'magic carpet'. smile

moobox Mon 17-Sep-18 14:16:49

My mother did all that, cloths over coffee tables, poppy packaging taped around doorknobs, extra covers on chairs etc, but she was the best gran. It was all child centred, as she could then relax. Because of that experience I would say that i don't see what the problem is

inishowen Mon 17-Sep-18 14:27:06

I move a prickly cactus and some ornaments out of reach. |Apart from that they can go where they please, and make as much mess as children do. My 6 year old GD loves to climb into the bed in our spare room so I always have that bed to remake when she goes home. There are crumbs and spilt drinks downstairs. Who care? I'm happy they come. I would hate to be so houseproud I'd put cardboard down on the floor.

GrannyHaggis Mon 17-Sep-18 14:27:15

Maybe it's a way of discouraging visitors....even if they are her GC !

Overthehills Mon 17-Sep-18 14:32:12

I’m quite tidy but when DGC are here anything goes - they’ll be gone all too soon. Big confession - I hate having to clean their handprints off the glass doors! smile

Funnygran Mon 17-Sep-18 14:35:29

Same situation in our house paddyann. Two GS’s here at the weekend and the older one wanted to paint his homework project at the kitchen table. So the five year old joined in and we had sheets of soaking wet painted pictures and lots of paint on the table and floor. Takes all of 20 minutes to clean up once they’ve gone so who cares?

Caro57 Mon 17-Sep-18 14:42:42

Very odd! Think my biggest concern would be cardboard on a laminate floor = major slip hazard! A drop of wee, or worse, is a very small price versus a head injury post slipping

adaunas Mon 17-Sep-18 14:44:56

I put throws over our furniture when children and GC were smaller and covers on and under the table when I put out drawing and painting stuff to prevent scratches or spills and I still have a ‘no walking round with food or drinks rule’. We still seem to have plenty of visits from the local ones and stayovers for the ones who live far away so it didn’t put them off.
I’m not particularly houseproud, but I do expect children to respect our things, so some things have a ‘don’t touch’ rule.
2 hours seems a bit of a long time to cover the furniture and floors. I could do the whole ground floor in 10 mins when I had to.
My GC only went in the downstairs rooms until they were older and now I don’t need to bother covering up because they are careful.
You have to live and let live I think, and not be offended. The children will accept it as the norm and not be bothered by it unless they hear comments about it.

Anniebach Mon 17-Sep-18 14:55:57

She may have OCD

willa45 Mon 17-Sep-18 14:57:22

Why not a portable electric heater? I always thought they were unsightly, but a few years ago we bought one that looks like a small fireplace and has a fake flame. I know it sounds tacky and silly, but it is much cozier than a square boxy space heater. We absolutely love it! So much so, we gave each of our adult children the same thing for Christmas. Even our 'snobby' child, ended up loving it. We have a real fireplace in our house, but it can't heat up the entire house and some days are just not cold enough, but cold nonetheless.

I couldn't find the exact make and model, but here's a link to one that is very similar.....

express.google.com/u/0/product/1456208321795415742_11144550093935473243_102436587?utm_source=google_shopping&utm_medium=tu_cu&utm_content=eid-lsjeuxoeqt,eid-ygcnqnyulq&gtim=CP-Rj_6ixIrufxCCoZq__aizmHYYsOafLiIDVVNEKJC0q90F&utm_campaign=102436587&gclid=Cj0KCQjwof3cBRD9ARIsAP8x70OuhK4r6bCTN96V3AEVb3xwfpM7BqVyPhGWRJnWIXlLwKbcW0ZUVxIaArIzEALw_wcB

willa45 Mon 17-Sep-18 14:58:35

Link works! (even though it looks funny)

PECS Mon 17-Sep-18 15:07:18

Basic rules for a household are fine.. sit on one place to eat & drink, shoes off in the hall , moving a couple of tempting delicate or dangerous items out of harms way..all within range of normal! Covering floor in card ..not normal!

notanan2 Mon 17-Sep-18 15:07:53

* but children need to learn how to look after things, and how to be careful*

The ILs house isnt the only place they visit so they will learn this elsewhere

willa45 Mon 17-Sep-18 15:29:49

My apologies......I'm horrified that I posted on the wrong thread. .....my hubby was calling me when I was trying to copy a link...then I cut and pasted my entire post on the wrong thread.

GillT57 Mon 17-Sep-18 15:50:56

I never covered furniture or moved bits out of the way of my children but we had two major rules: shoes off, and food and drink at a table, either small one for little people or at big one when old enough to reach. I don' t like adults wandering around with food and drink either.......apart from a glass of wine of course!

agnurse Mon 17-Sep-18 15:51:36

My parents don't mind a huge mess. It can always be cleaned up later.

Mum always uses the good china and crystal for holidays - even for the kids. (Really little ones might be given a plastic glass, but would still get a plate that's part of the good china and would get the good silverware.) She says you need to USE the good stuff - otherwise why have it?

When we were little, Mum made a couple of gifts for our dad and for our grandmother. The one for Dad was from me and the one for Grandma was from me and my sister. They had our handprints and a picture, with a cute little poem:

Daddy (Grandma) you've cleaned the fingerprints
I (We) left upon the wall.
I (We) seem to make a mess of things because I am (we are) so small.

The years will pass so quickly, I'll (we'll) soon be grown like you,
And all my (our) little fingerprints will surely fade from view.

So here are two special handprints, Daddy (Grandma)
And a picture of me (us) too,
So you'll recall the very day I (we) made this just for you!

grandtanteJE65 Mon 17-Sep-18 15:54:32

In your daughter's place, I would either just accept that MIL is either house proud or not particularly fond of children and limit visits to a minimum, but be very forthcoming with invitations to MIL to come and visit them in their home.

Possibly MIL will be a much better granny when the children are older.

There is no doubt in my mind that your GC much prefer coming to see you than their other grannie.

Rosina Mon 17-Sep-18 15:59:38

When my DGC were tiny I would put throws over the upholstery - work of seconds - but everything else is washable and therefore isn't a problem. We have always had the 'sit down to eat and drink' rule, to avoid choking and we felt it displayed good manners. This lady's behaviour does seem excessive, and where does she keep her throws and her cardboard? I can't imagine that particular job taking more than twenty minutes, not two hours. However, as some have said, she may have a problem. My OH's mother (I could not bring myself to refer to her as MiL) kept visitors standing up in the kitchen, and they might get a grudging cup of tea, but coats were not taken, and the sitting room shrine never entered. This was a room of absolute beauty and artistry; exquisite decoration, beautiful furniture, Wilton carpets, perfect curtains and pristine upholstery. Every room in the house was like a page from 'Homes and Gardens'. You were never allowed to as much as squash a cushion, and nobody was welcome, particularly not her two GC. What phobia that person suffered from I have never discovered, but a great deal of suffering was handed out by her cold and unwelcoming attitude and behaviour.

notanan2 Mon 17-Sep-18 16:05:53

For some people with anxiety/OCD just having people in the house at all is terrifying, so having them there with covers might already be a huge compromise done out of love on their part.

Who knows. It is what it is. Don't compare. We all do things in our homes that others wouldn't do in theirs...... work with it! Bring books/pictures/sitting down things to that grandparent. There are other places to run around & be messy.

Anniebach Mon 17-Sep-18 16:08:46

I agree notanan, the woman certaintly fits in with problems some with OCD suffer with. A cruel illness

sarahcyn Mon 17-Sep-18 16:14:25

<<She covers the laminate flooring with cardboard?! >>

Maybe the children wear stiletto heels hmm

I'd be worried about the cardboard slipping around or tripping little ones up.

TerriBull Mon 17-Sep-18 16:27:30

Yes, definitely odd! I remember my mil had a lot of ornaments and expensive pale carpets, I found it a bit of strain trying to stop ours from touching things. They did have a really big garden, over an acre, so it was okay in the summer. Our gc take their shoes off when they go upstairs in our house, that's about it really, our lounge is on the first floor. Other than that I generally let them get out whatever they want, colouring and drawing is usually done downstairs in the kitchen, but the toys, books etc. are upstairs, the house can look as if it's been burgled after they've left, but it only takes 5 minutes to put it all away again, yesterday my granddaughter was good cleared up after herself. If we've had them for the whole day and feel tired, sometimes we just leave it all out till the next morning and then tidy it away.