Gransnet forums


Freedom in my house

(76 Posts)
sparkly1000 Sun 16-Sep-18 17:40:56

My two Gds, 4 and 18 months pop in about twice weekly, when I know they are coming I pop a couple of ornaments out of reach, other Gran needs 2 hours notice so that she can cover her furniture with dust sheets and her laminated flooring with cardboard just in case.
Frankly I find this odd and DD says she finds it insulting.
She does not live in a posh house, just ordinary like us.
During the very hot weather recently we often had the little one running around with no clothes or nappy, if there were a little tinkle to me it would not be the end of the world.
Am I being unreasonable to think that this behaviour is odd?

MissAdventure Sun 16-Sep-18 17:43:54

It is a bit odd, but then people other than our own families usually are.
She is obviously very houseproud.

Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 17:46:06

Well, yes a bit. Each to their own.

If it mezzanine she can relax and let them skate all over the floor and climb on the furniture with their drinks, why not?

I remember being very protective of my new leather chairs many years ago.....

Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 17:46:54

means, means. Honestly who would convert that to mezzanine!

muffinthemoo Sun 16-Sep-18 18:43:38

Eglantine many years ago I used to drink on the mezzanine ‘VIP area’ of a particular club and indeed it was exactly as you describe

DoraMarr Sun 16-Sep-18 19:01:48

I have plants and pottery out, and I have just taught my grandchildren not to touch them- not always successfully! They are also not allowed to walk around with drinks and food. The eldest, almost two, knows she has a special place to sit when she has her milk-it’s a little footstool. I let them have a run around without nappies after their bath too. There have been a few accidents, but I have wooden floors mostly. However, that did lead to the oldest saying her first sentence a few months ago- “oh dear grandma, wee- wee on sofa.”

Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 19:07:35

muffin grin Must have been a Freudian slip......

paddyann Sun 16-Sep-18 19:52:57

I've never been houseproud,I grew up with a houseproud mother and I learned young that I'd rather be relaxed about the place I live.When my son was about ten a neighbour congratulated me on him taking his shoes off at her door,I wa s very surprised the same boy and all his pals would rollerblade up my hall carpet without a thought.When I asked him why the different approach I was informed its because her house is always spotless!!Well son says I ,mine might be too if you took your shoes off here.My house is not dirty ,its rarely tidy though,coats on the bannister and things lined up on the stairs to take up,and books and magazines.Its a home not a showhouse .

petra Sun 16-Sep-18 19:55:56

No, your not being unreasonable. My Daughter had in laws who just didn't understand children, although they had had 2 of their own confused
She would always visit them and it was always "ooh no, don't touch that" " don't go near that" etc. These weren't housproud people, they just didn't like children.
My daughter stopped taking the children to see them. She wasn't prepared to let these 2 keep having a go at her children.
For anyone who might be feeling sorry for these grandparents, they were happy with the 'new' arrangements.

Willow500 Sun 16-Sep-18 20:02:42

I don't remember moving anything when my granddaughters (now adults) were little - it was simply a case of don't touch and they didn't. When my grandson's visited at Christmas my son told us we would need to put anything breakable out of the way - I didn't - they were here 6 weeks and we had no breakages. You can probably be too careful.

agnurse Sun 16-Sep-18 21:22:55

It seems odd to me. Then again, it's her home and she has the right to make that choice.

sodapop Sun 16-Sep-18 21:24:56

I agree Willow being too careful and getting tense with children will result in disaster. The behaviour of the otherGran seems way over the top. I am house proud but I can always clear up when the children have gone.
Love the sofa story DoraMarr

Melanieeastanglia Sun 16-Sep-18 21:28:56

I think it is odd behaviour too. If my in-laws had behaved like that, it would have made me feel uncomfortable.

janeainsworth Sun 16-Sep-18 21:39:04

Covering your furniture with dusts sheets and your floors with cardboard before visitors, even very small ones, arrive is seriously weird.
But people are allowed to be weird.
However, they shouldn’t then be surprised if they don’t get many visitors.

sparkly1000 Sun 16-Sep-18 21:40:17

Thank you for your replies ladies. Apart from the two ornaments that I move (at my DDs request) our house is a free zone for our granddaughters.
I just find it odd that the other Gran feels it necessary to dust sheet all furniture and cover all downstairs floors in corrugated cardboard in anticipation of their visit.
Frankly if there was an accident here, a cloth and Dettol would easily resolve it. No big deal for me.

BlueBelle Sun 16-Sep-18 22:22:26

Oh Paddyann that’s my house stuff on the stairs ready to take up that everybody but me walks past, coat on the end bobble of the banister and whole house needs a paint up but it’s a home I never minded when they were little I d rather them be comfortable and happy so to me it’s very odd behaviour but then as they say there’s nowt as queer as folk and if that’s what she needs to do that’s up to here, silly lady

notanan2 Sun 16-Sep-18 22:42:52

Maybe she doesn't have money to replace things? Family friends of my parents always had covers for everything but never ever bought anything new & I suspect couldn't afford to.

I'm pretty relaxed re my home.. but if I did have to hire a carpet cleaner or replace something it wouldn't be the end of the world financially for me, therefore I have no moral high ground.

I also know someone with an immune compromised relative that visits. They used to have a very "relaxed" home but now they have to be more anal

jacq10 Sun 16-Sep-18 22:59:15

I'm not housepround just quietly proud of my house (but not overly so - just like my "bits and pieces" that mean things to me (books, photographs and some of my Mum's china) but I never bothered fussing over anything when DD & DS were wee. I have never moved stuff when DGS visits. Only time we had problems was with our Labradors tail once he was fully grown. It never stopped wagging and I used to say "never moved stuff for kids and am not going to do it now!! However, I did rearrange and move some things up to higher ground to avoid accidents.

JanaNana Mon 17-Sep-18 08:48:49

I am quite relaxed and not overly worried about these things. We have always changed our shoes at the door though, long before we had children or grandchildren so it's something we have done for years.....MiL always insisted on this at her house and it is second nature to us now. We automatically do it when we visit other people too although we don't expect everyone who visits us to do so unless they want to.
One of my friends mother,s used to put old sheets over her furniture whenever she took the grandchildren round to visit....she used to tell them why as well. She would say " me and your grandad have saved up a long time for this lovely furniture - and we don,t want it "clarted up" with sticky fingers and drinks of juice all over it. Think this was before washable covers and steam cleaners,so it saved her from worrying too much.

Apricity Mon 17-Sep-18 08:59:00

We all have the right to manage our houses the way we like even if it sounds a bit over the top to others. The main rule I have is that eating is something you do sitting at the table, not walking around, not sitting on the sofa or watching telly.

carolmary Mon 17-Sep-18 09:30:17

I think it should be the norm in this country to take off shoes when you enter a house. Just think of what you might have trodden in outside! I believe in Japan you get given sandals to put on when you visit. Is that the custom in a Muslim house too? Our daughter's Pakistani friend always took hers of when she came to our house. (but then she was an extremely well-mannered girl anyway). I am not particularly house proud but surely it makes sense to sit down when eating or drinking. It has always been the assumption in our house.

DoraMarr Mon 17-Sep-18 09:40:46

Apricity- we always had this rule too. When my children were small we mums used to meet in each other’s houses and it always surprised me how many parents let their children eat wandering around. Lots of children I taught ate in front of the television, and I remember reading a report that said that dining at the table was a thing of the past- in fact many homes didn’t even have a table to sit at! Meals were always a time for interaction in our house, and my adult children have the same attitude. I sympathise with anyone who is house proud, I don’t want my new apartment wrecked by careless children, but there has to be a happy medium. The sofa cushion washed well and came up new, by the way!

GrannyGravy13 Mon 17-Sep-18 10:20:51

My own children always ate sitting down, either at the dining table or breakfast bar. Move on 30+years and all GC know they have to sit down to eat, island unit in the kitchen, dining table, or their little table in the lounge.

Have never moved an ornament for my C or GC, if things are around they take no notice. Always far to busy playing with their toys, or escaping to Grandpas shed!!

wildswan16 Mon 17-Sep-18 10:33:01

It's sensible to put "precious/expensive" items out of reach, but children need to learn how to look after things, and how to be careful. I have never moved anything, other than watching out for sharp corners, glass etc at the toddling stage.

Lynne59 Mon 17-Sep-18 10:41:37

She covers the laminate flooring with cardboard?! Odd.

I've got laminate flooring, and it's so easy to clean! My GC have been coming here since birth (now 7 and almost 4). We've had all manner of things dropped/spilt on the floor and just mopped it up.

My GC were here yesterday, and we had crisps, playdough and grass trodden's no big deal to me. I always just clean up when they've gone home.