I’m new here and I wanted to get perspective from a different angle i.e. older generation and In-Laws.
I’ll try not to be too long winded.
I had a friend - call him Bob growing up who had a large birthmark across his face and had quite low self esteem. His family just decided to pretend there was nothing wrong.
I have a daughter from a previous relationship. Bob and I became close after the end of my relationship and eventually married when my daughter was 5. She is now 11.
Last year my husband had a nervous breakdown. He was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. His parents had planned a holiday to the Cotswolds and I was shocked they did not cancel.
I dealt with this alone. When he was recovering he admitted that the stress of living a double life had caused him to have a breakdown. He said that he had never imagined anyone would be able to see past his facial disfigurement and had started using prostitutes when he was a young man. He used them during our marriage.
This was a shock and I asked him to move out of our rented house. His parents swooped in and said that as their son is the high earner it is his house. They said me and my daughter should move 3 hours away to my parents house. I would have to quit my job and dd leave a school she is doing well at. I said ‘If you think I’m leaving my home you have another think coming.’
Eventually he moved into their house which is an hour away and he could still commute to work. He lived there for 3 months then rented a studio flat.
After therapy we are trying to mend the relationship and he has moved back to the family home. His parents said I am banned from their house. At Christmas they sent a card addressed only to Bob. Not me and completely ignored my daughter who called them grandma and grandpa for five years. They ignored her birthday. They said that I had offended them when I was rude to them.
A few weeks later we drove to their house to try and talk. They said I am not allowed in. His sister has taken the same line. My daughter was not invited to the usual cousins birthday party. Also a Christmas card to her brother only but not me or dd. I phoned her and asked why they were doing that and she said ‘I had spoken to her parents very rude and disrespectfully to them’.
I have apologised to them saying ‘it was obviously a stressful time and their saying I should leave my home when I had done nothing wrong was unfair but I’m sorry I had a rude tone speaking to you.’ They still will not speak to me and it’s coming up to two years now.
Dh is useless. He won’t ever do against his parents and is scared of his dad. It’s not a good relationship but to leave would be too much upheaval for me.
Why is his family being so horrible to me and taking it out on a child?
ScornedDIL Thu 27-Sep-18 21:12:10
ScornedDIL Thu 27-Sep-18 21:16:49
notanan2 Thu 27-Sep-18 22:09:41
MissAdventure Thu 27-Sep-18 22:10:52
Grannyknot Thu 27-Sep-18 22:33:53
ScornedDIL Thu 27-Sep-18 22:43:28
notanan2 Thu 27-Sep-18 22:48:46
MissAdventure Thu 27-Sep-18 22:49:01
notanan2 Thu 27-Sep-18 22:54:43
jeanie99 Fri 28-Sep-18 01:29:55
thanik Fri 28-Sep-18 08:26:14
FlexibleFriend Fri 28-Sep-18 09:12:54
sodapop Fri 28-Sep-18 09:19:58
notanan2 Fri 28-Sep-18 14:04:56
notanan2 Fri 28-Sep-18 14:11:11
notanan2 Fri 28-Sep-18 14:15:41
notanan2 Fri 28-Sep-18 14:18:52
Situpstraight1 Sat 29-Sep-18 11:25:06
paddyann Sat 29-Sep-18 12:26:20
Nonnie Sat 29-Sep-18 13:03:52
Starlady Sat 29-Sep-18 13:16:02
Starlady Sat 29-Sep-18 13:17:42