Scorned, my heart goes out to you! After all you've been through, I can't believe your ils are angry at you for being "rude." If that's what it's truly about, then, I'm afraid you're apology may have sounded more like an attempt to excuse your rudeness than a true apology. You might want to try again, by simply apologizing for the rude remarks or tone and letting them know it won't happen again (if you're sure it won't).
Nothing is an excuse for their cutting out your dd, however. She was innocent in all this and that's cruel of them to do. But maybe a sincere and simple apology will change that, too.
I'm not convinced this is just about rudeness, though, so even a simple apology may not get results (worth a try, though, imo). I suspect their attitude is, "We accepted her dd as if she were our own gd - and then she turned around and kicked our ds out of the house! He went back to her, but we're never accepting her again - or her dd!" In fact, if the new apology doesn't work, that will prove that there's something else behind the co.
But, to me, your main problem is with your h. He needs to either tell them to treat you and your dd properly or refuse to attend events, etc. without the two of you. If he can't do any of that, then, imo, you need to get back into counseling. And he may need individual counseling to see why he's so afraid of his dad and, perhaps, learn to be stronger. Only he can decide to do that though.
I hate to ask this, but are you sure he is no longer frequenting prostitutes? Or that he didn't while you were living apart?I understand (though don't condone) his doing it while he was single, but why continue once he was married? There could be some sort of sex addiction involved? Has he sought any help for that?