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AIBU

Men changing babies.

(86 Posts)
tanith Thu 04-Oct-18 07:36:33

Just watched a piece on the news about a man who needed to change his baby having to do it on his lap, and the video of this has gone viral with men complaining that there are no nappy changing facilities in men’s loos and want this rectified.
Whilst I agree it’s not easy but please I very often changed my babies on my lap as there were no facilities in those days it’s not rocket science and who’d want to take their baby in the men’s loo anyway.

Thoughts ladies?

willa45 Thu 04-Oct-18 16:35:30

Of late, there's been an increase in single user facilities here in the US that are available to everyone. Likely a response to a controversy that occurred two or three years ago. It seems all hell broke loose when a transgender female (with the appearance of a male) went inside the Lady's loo.

These newer (surprisingly very clean) facilities are gender 'neutral', and may or may not have (fold out) changing tables. They do have to be equipped for the handicapped and be ample enough in size for a wheelchair.

Since they're 'one at a time' only, queues are inevitable, yet the worst I've had is one or two people in front of me. Also, in larger public settings (hospital) there are usually several of them located on a given floor and not far one from the other.
They are a perfect solution for the parent with a small child of opposite sex.

GillT57 Thu 04-Oct-18 16:38:00

I am assured by a friend who used to work as air cabin crew that this story is true:

Uptight, upper class passenger in First class with crying baby. Baby needed stinky nappy changed. Said passenger clicked their fingers for cabin crew, gave smelly, crying baby to young, very camp air male steward and demanded that he change the baby as it is crying

Steward came back with different, clean, quiet baby ( with parental permission of course) and asked will this one do modom?

Cue laughter, cue furious complaint.....grin

Louizalass Thu 04-Oct-18 16:42:54

I'm with Gabrielle!

Caro57 Thu 04-Oct-18 16:47:03

Bring on unisex loos a la le continent - despite Brexit!!

Mabel2 Thu 04-Oct-18 16:56:11

A 'family' room would solve the problem. I remember visiting swimming pools which had larger cubicles between the male and female sides to cater for families or a single parent with children. Similar could be used to provide suitable changing and feeding areas, however I have seen these type of facilities used inappropriately for religious observance which brings the question where does the provision of private areas in public places end.

sweetcakes Thu 04-Oct-18 18:00:33

🤣🤣 love that GillT57

Daisyboots Thu 04-Oct-18 18:52:23

Portugal is on the Continente but there are usually separate male and female toilets. Although I remember turning right into the Ladies at Porto Airport and there were men washing their hands so I hastily withdrew to be told both sexes were using the Ladies as the Mens were out of action.

Another occasion also at Porto airport my 91 yearold disabled Mother needed the loo and we went to the disabled one to find it occupied. 10 minutes later out walked an air hostess who had been getting changed. Grr. In the shopping centres they do tend to have family changing facilities and also a room for feeding. But not so in local cafes and restaurants

Deedaa Thu 04-Oct-18 21:26:48

About 60 years ago I read a very funny article about a man trying to find a lady to take his little girl into the Ladies. It has obviously been a problem for fathers for a long time.

FlorenceFlower Fri 05-Oct-18 01:38:25

Of course men should have access to changing rooms for baby, young children, doesn't even need discussing.

Where we go swimming with dgd and dgs, in Surrey, no probs at all, easy changing, you go in, there is a loo and a changing table, and you exit to the swimming pool side.

Can’t understand all the probs really, we should have individual unisex loos plus changing, etc n 2018, especially when building new shopping malls, etc. We are the 5th wealthiest country in the world, no excuses!

Feel sorry for all the dinosaurs who say ‘yes, we used to balance baby, on a towel on our lap or the floor, etc’ .... then was then, and now is now! 😊✅

GabriellaG Fri 05-Oct-18 01:39:10

Nannan2

Of course, I meant females who change in the washroom area of ladies toilets, not the actual toilets which are usually far too small to accommodate that activity.
Young women often used to go out straight from work and still do. It made sense to change and do your hair/make up in the washroom.

GabriellaG Fri 05-Oct-18 01:59:34

I never use public loos anyway, not anywhere, trains, planes or roadside squats.
I have used two places in my 20s and 30s. One was a public lavatory in Southport, on Lord Street. Immaculate, fresh flowers, highly polished brass fittings and sparkling taps, a freshly laundered hand-towel for each visitor and comfy chairs to sit and feed baby with a changing table which was wiped over by the uniformed attendant with a Milton soaked cloth after every use. She might even offer you a cup of tea if you left a few pennies in her tips saucer.
The other place was the train station at Victoria.
An attendant handed out freshly laundered bath towels and a cake of soap if you wanted a bath, or hand towels for use after the lavatory.
Those kind of places are long gone and sadly missed.

absent Fri 05-Oct-18 05:35:59

Our shopping mall has a large room where you have facilities for changing nappies, microwaves for heating bottles and private cubicles for women who want to breastfeed without spectators. It also has loos. How good is that?

Magrithea Fri 05-Oct-18 08:29:10

Baby changing facilities should be unisex and ideally not in the disabled loo.

I've never understood why small establishments have separate male and female loos - often there is one of each and always a queue for the ladies while the gents stands empty! Why not just toilets for whoever to use? Often in Europe there are unisex loos - as another post mentioned - what's the fuss? You don't have to look!

Iam64 Fri 05-Oct-18 08:47:59

You must have remarkable bladder control if you don't use public lavatories Gabriella. Not everyone else does and babies or toddlers will insist on needing the toilet, or their nappy changed. That's the reason decent facilities are needed, for all those ordinary folks out there.

PECS Fri 05-Oct-18 09:16:11

* Gabriella* are you a writer for Mills & Boon? grin

annodomini Fri 05-Oct-18 10:08:08

Gabriella, how did you find these immaculate 'facilities'? You don't seem the kind of person who would wander into a public lavatory on the off-chance that they would offer you freshly laundered towels, etc. Was there some publication (Good Loos Guide) that you could consult?

Aepgirl Fri 05-Oct-18 11:39:15

It seems to me that everybody wants everything tailored to their needs today. However did we manage 40-odd years ago?!!!

goldengirl Fri 05-Oct-18 12:52:14

There were more toilets then - and it was mostly women who did the baby changing! Aepgirl I remember changing our baby in the pram - there weren't so many buggies in those days

Barmeyoldbat Fri 05-Oct-18 14:18:32

I agree with this dad, baby changing facilities are needed for dads. I myself see nothing wrong with unisex loos but thats me. We went camping for a week with my 7 yearly gd and I ended up in hospital on day 2 for the rest of the week. OH was left with the problem of showers for our gd but luck was on our side as she was very self sufficient.

DIL17 Fri 05-Oct-18 14:51:23

We don't need unisex changing rooms. Just put one of the folded changing stations up in the men's loo as well! It isn't rocket science.

I used to hate being out with my husband and I had to do all of the changing. He went through a phase where he didn't like going out with her as he had nowhere private to change her and when he did "do it on his lap" people moaned.

It's simple thing that you bolt to the wall. Just do it.

middleagespread Fri 05-Oct-18 15:41:00

I would like to unisex changing rooms between ladies/gents for small children. My sons, and son in laws take the children/babies out on their own often or indeed when their wives are with them it's still sometimes their turn to do a change. A change from my generation but a welcome one.

Momof3 Fri 05-Oct-18 18:45:04

A lot of moms and dads use the disabled toilets because it big enough to take the pram/pushchair in with us.

If mom has more than one very small child with them again

Hidden non visible Disabilities

The baby changing is very often in the disabled toilet

MamaCaz Fri 05-Oct-18 19:01:16

I haven't watched the video mentioned in the OP, but sympathise with the father. Unlike some on here, I never mastered changing a baby on my lap. In fact, DS2 was so wriggly and strong that even doing it in a large surface like a bed was difficult, and at only 3 months old, despite my best efforts to control him, he fell off there in the middle of the process.

DIL17 Tue 09-Oct-18 10:04:11

Momof3

Yes where I am most of the facilities are either in the ladies loo or disabled. There's also no room for your pram in the ladies!

I used to leave mine outside and just take the baby and changing bag but had my fold up buggy stolen so refused to do that ever again!

I don't know why more places don't do what a lot of coffee shops do now which is to just have three separate toilets which can be used by both genders rather than two rooms with cubicles for seperate genders? It makes life easier with only one queue and they're normally larger which would help with this problem!

Daddima Tue 09-Oct-18 11:14:52

I seem to remember when our children were small, there was a children’s toilet on Brighton seafront. It had a female attendant and I think over 12s weren’t allowed!
I thought it was a good idea, and meant the older children could go on their own, and saved the whole family having to pack up if there was only one adult present.