AIBU to expect a birthday card

I think I would have to say something, or hold off until I was asked for something and then say ' Oh, you havent forgotten me then, because it seemed that way on my birthday'

I agree too. A quick call and or a card or little note popped in the post doesn’t exactly take much time. I get a bit fed up with all this oh, they have such busy lives’.

Aw completely understand. If not a card then a phone call! About time you told them how upset you are and please yourself a bit more often.

I think some AC still feel children and act as such. Not bloody well on.

Happy birthday to you xxx

I agree with you purplepansyem! We shouldn't have to remind our own children of our birthday.

I don't understand other peoples responses - 'if it's important to you, perhaps you should have reminded them' - She's their mother, she gives them money and free child care, she's there for them everytime they need or want help and they can't remember her birthday!?! I'd be bloody furious!!!

Happy belated birthday Abbeygran. I think the sending of a card shows that some effort and thought has been put into the gesture. My late MiL used to say " a card is one of the little things that gives a lot pleasure". In today's world of technology its too easy to send a text or eCard but does,nt seem to hold the same sort of sentiment that comes with a proper card. I would"nt remind anyone or drop hints as I think a card should be a spontaneous gesture and not prompted. How hard is it for people to buy a calendar and write the names on at the start of the year for everyone.

I write birthdays on the calendar, so I don't forget them. Bit tricky when the birthday falls on the first of the month! I do confess to forgetting how old grand children are - I buy plain cards!

I can understand why it is hurtful if your close family forget your birthday but I don't think the solution is to respond in kind.
I happened to be at my DS's flat a few days before my last birthday so I wrote "Mum's Birthday" in block capitals on the square for the date on his wall calendar to avoid the position you have found yourself in.
I think the only solution is to tell the AC that you were a bit upset that they had forgotten and see the reaction.
After all, it's not asking much to be sent a Happy Birthday text or message and not very nice to be taken for granted when you have been helping them out in all sorts of ways.

I think that’s pretty poor abbeygran, you might forget a friend’s birthday, but to forget ones own mothers birthday I find inexcusable - unless there’s been some “life and death” happenings taking place. I would be very hurt. Next year keep dropping hints - not just for your birthday but Mother’s Day too! And perhaps don’t be in too much of a rush forward to help with money and other help, might bring them up short.

How anybody can forget their Mothers Birthday is beyond me. It’s thoughtless and hurtful. Mothers always go above and beyond and for children and grownup children should show their appreciation. I would love to spoil my Mum if she were still with us.
Reply to that text message and tell her it’s your birthday, immediately or if not sooner

KatyK Your friends sound more like unpaid servants than parents to their adult children! it’s a more common theme these days with the younger generation of parents I find and I wonder why that is??
As for birthday reminders, I use Moonpig and this helpfully sends me emails a few days before birthdays allowing me to organise a card there and then for delivery on the correct day; I love their cards because I can upload photos to them and make them more personal and although they are more expensive than buying a standard high street one it saves so much aggravation!

I don't think you are being oversensitive at all! What everyone is missing is the fact you are sad to be taken for granted all of the time, not just that you care about a card on one day of the year.

I have had to get into the habit of reminding my lot the week before - no need to ask me why.

Oh ..belated happy birthday, Abbeygran xx

Birthdays are very important to me.....I don't care about gifts , but I love my cards, the soppier they are, the better. I'm a sentimental old fool.....my dear , still missed friend used to hate soppy cards, even from her children. So I used to buy her the plainest of cards. Oh how I wish she was still here so I could send her a card, a plain simple card. Miss her so much.....

Happy Birthday for yesterday Abbeygran. If it hurts you are not being over sensitive. Maybe bring it up later when your feelings have settled a bit, like next time there’s talk of a family birthday you could tell them how lovely it is when your birthday is remembered and how sad you feel if it’s forgotten.
My daughter came home from Australia recently for a few weeks, she was really organised and brought a folder with her containing birthday cards for everyone who was due then forgot to give half of them out, including mine!! Never mind I’ll get it at Christmas when we go to see them.

No you’re definitely not being over sensitive. I would also be very upset. I do try and drop it into conversation in advance to give fair warning though.

Get busy - with absorbing hobbies, interests, friends. Life will be better for you and they will have to realise the days of running slaves are over. If they had to pay staff they'd treat them better!

Sadly, cards are becoming more and more unfashionable particularly with the younger generation. Birthdays are now acknowledged on social media and people rely on Facebook to remind them of special dates.
I receive very few cards nowadays but do get greetings via Facebook and WhatsApp.

No you are not being too sensitive, but tell them that you're upset about it. My grown up children never send cards to friends, but they do always remember me and their dad. Its not fashionable these days to send cards everything is done via facebook or whats app

Happy birthday. I would always prefer a phone call to a birthday card.

To Abbeygran---A Very Happy Belated Birthday Wish.
It's really hurtful when someone forgets your birthday or anniversary; they don't seem to realise that these little things become ever more important as one gets older.
Make yourself an over size card with " HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME" writ large on the front and display it on the mantlepiece next time they visit.

I would be very unhappy if this happened to me. I think you should make yourself a birthday cake to share with your granddaughter. Perhaps this would prompt your daughter to ask whose birthday it was for.

You're not being over sensitive. It was my 60th birthday in September and my sil forgot. She rang up ON THE DAY to ask if she could visit as she had some problem to discuss (as per usual)...I said 'No, you can't visit as it's my 60th birthday and we're going out.'

She apologised but I didn't take her up on her offer to visit the following day as an afterthought.

Just tell them it was your birthday and thought they would have remembered.

Yes when you pick him up say cassually "im glad its today ive to pick you up NOT YESTERDAY ON MY BIRTHDAY"!! then wait to see if you get a profuse apology- if not yes just forget theirs when its their turn and see if it makes a difference nxt yr!try have a nice day anyway