Table Manners

Oh, and perhaps pointing out pleonasms should be left to Pedants Corner!

As several people have already said, the worst table manners are eating with ones mouth open, and talking with mouth full.i have seen people who hold their knife "correctly" do this. How you hold your knife is getting into the realms of : do you say what or pardon, toilet or lavatory !!

jacq monica’s use of discrete was actually correct.
What gabriella was objecting to was monica’s use of two adjectives (‘discrete’ and ‘individual’) to describe the same thing.
I would argue though that that is a matter of style rather than correctness, and if it’s ill-mannered to point out incorrect spelling on GN, to my mind it’s infinitely worse to object to a poster’s literary style.
Have a nice day, y’all!
That’s for those who object to American manners and usage.

I think Monica's usage of discrete was probably a spelling error and what does that matter. If it was a test or there were many of them it might but like most folks on here I enjoy reading the posts and would never dream of contradicting anyone (hope I've used the right word there!!).

I'm old and veggie. I don't need to cut anything up, so I guess I'm an irritating person who scoops and stabs with the fork in my right hand. Knife is either unused or propped on the plate's edge.

One thing that really annoys me is the waving about of knives and forks. I was always taught to keep them pointing downward. Who wants to see cutlery coated in gravy etc. being pointed at them.

Goodness me, I’m sorry I ever started to read this thread. Good table manners -not talking with your mouth full or chewing with your mouth open, not eating a large piece of food like a lolly, fair enough, but picking holes in the way people hold their knives and forks, claiming you were taught the ‘proper way’ and looking down on those who don’t fit your idea of proper? I learned to cut food with my knife tucked into my palm, but now, because of arthritis, I hold it like a pencil and never thought anything about it. How much more enjoyable it will be in the future, knowing that when I do that it will be irritating a whole group of ‘perfect’ people.

And I really do wish, GabriellaG, that you would stop correcting people's English usage on here. Now that is appallingly bad mannered

I cannot bear to see people eating messily and greedily, shovelling food in their mouths and chewing noisily with their mouth open, and talking with a mouthful of food.
But, seriously, I couldn't give a damn which way round they hold their cutlery. Does it honestly matter? Or are some people just clinging to a set of ancient rules for the sake of it? I mean, how absurd is it to expect anyone, let alone a small child, to squash their peas onto the back of an upturned fork, when for all the world the utensil looks like a scoop?
I seem to recall reading somewhere that in mediaeval times, before the introduction of forks, people would cut their food with a knife, then spear it with the tip of the knife to bring it to their mouth. At what point do we accept that one set of rules is allowed to supercede another? Perhaps now is the time to consign the ridiculous upturned fork tradition to history.

I’ll never forget when my DH and I were dating. One day we were having fish and chips,at my house, and he was setting the table. He turned to my Mum and asked her where the fish knives and forks were kept. Her face was a picture. My parents thought I was marrying into a very posh family.
It was just the way that he had been brought up.

Table manners vary from one country to another, but as far as I know in no European country is it considered correct to turn your fork round and push food onto it with your knife. I don't think it is consider correct in USA either, although there many people do cut up all their food than lay their knife down and eat only with their fork. This is considered odd here, if not exactly bad manners, unless you are handicapped.

It doesn't bother me how people use their cutlery, but like many others I object to people eating noisily or with their mouths open, or talking with their mouths full!

I was brought up the old fashioned way and have noticed family and friends holding knives like pencils. I don't like it but would never say anything as I'd be accused of being either snooty or a know-all.
I prefer peace and quiet to being right.

Once on a cruise we sat with an American couple at dinner. As we were eating she loudly said to her husband, 'look at the way they're using their cutlery!' (We didn't cut up all the food then transfer our forks to our right hand like they did.)
I almost said 'look we have ears and are sitting right next to you!' We avoided such I'll mannered people for the rest of the cruise.

As long as my family eat tidily, keeping the food on the plate, I don't care which way up they use their fork or how they hold their knife. I do care that no books, phones, toys, ipads etc are brought to the table. That mouths are closed when chewing, and not crammed too full. That napkins are used to wipe faces/accidental spills, that children ask to leave the table and that both adults and children thank whoever has provided the meal before moving from their seat. That is what I was taught were good table manners, not which way round you use your fork!

And I agree with Monica about eating pasta, rice and couscous dishes - it's rather painful to see older, uptight British diners, using knives & forks 'correctly' poised.

Good manners is not criticising other people's manners.

I love my stwp children dearly but my goodness, they eat like pigs! I was so strict with my children, teaching them manners of every aspect, then I met my husband, also who I love to the ends of the earth, but he was never big on manners. It was a culture shock to myself and my children.
They chew with their mouths open, try to conduct a full conversation with food in their mouths. I do tell them every time they do it and thankfully my oldest stepson has learnt over the years. His manners are lovely now. It would be a joy to overcome the whole chewing and talking trauma, never mind cutlery!!!

I think it very suburban and Hyacinth Bucket to worry about how other people hold their cutlery!

It's just another way to sneer at people - manners and table etiquette are two different things.

It's bad manners to make others feel uncomfortable. As long as people are considerate at the table and aren't beastly to the waiting staff I don't care how they load their peas!

Why is the assumption made by some people that bad things always come out of America (except Trump of course!).
In my experience, American and Canadian people have wonderful manners.

I have become more relaxed about cutlery after spending my DD's childhood picking her up about the way she used her knife only to find that the reason she was so awkward is because her joints over flex or dislocate. Both my sons have the same problem so scooping is better for their joints than pushing. As long as the peas stay on their plates rather than shooting across the table, I am happy.
Times change, once upon a time you would have been chastised for using the left hand for eating as it was considered to be the devil's hand. For me, as long as I can't see their food churning round in their mouth, can't hear their fork bashing against their teeth or hear them slurp, I'm happy.

I now have problems with my wrists and hands, no problem eating most of the time but I was recently invited to an Indian Restaurant by friends.
The food was served in small deep bowls and I could not twist my joints to eat it.
A friend noticed and asked the waiter if I could have a plate, he became very snooty and refused.
Another friend called the manager and I got my plate and the cost of my meal was cancelled and a bottle of wine for the table.
I hate to sit next to messy eaters, a lot of the Restaurants here cram the tables in and sometimes the elbow spreading can be quite intimidating.

I think most of us were brought up in a different age when table manners were very important, not so much the case now. It irritates me when the knife is held like a pen but I have seen worse things at table. Elbows off the table, no screens or reading matter and please eat quietly.
inishowen that was truly dreadful and just laziness.
I do think children should learn at home how to use utensils and be able to eat and drink without assistance when they go to school.

Trying to crush peas on the back of a fork seems silly to me when you could just scoop them (which I do when I eat alone). Maybe there is time for a rethink.
I prefer our way of using cutlery to the American way of but as long as people eat in a reasonably neat and contained way (can't think of the way to describe it) I think it is not a bad thing that hang ups about the use of cutlery are going.
The common use of mugs would have seemed strange years ago.

My grandchildren drive me nuts they use their fingers and they are 12,11,6 & 4!

This is how children see Americans eating on TV programmes - I despair.