AIBU for being angry?

Why would you feel guilty it's not your mother and you've done your best no one is going to thank you when you kill yourself looking after an inconsiderate blackmailing woman who had a son who should be doing the lions share after the care. As for not being able to see a male Dr sid that for a game of marbles he'd be told where he could go and take his ungrateful mother with him. Stupid pair get out while you have some life left xx

You are eligible for a carers assessment. You need help and you need to discuss in this assessment what help yo need. Then if your MIL does not cooperate you may have to decide enough is enough.

I knew she had changed her name Bluebelle. I didn't realise it would stop pms. I hope she's ok.

I hope her partner or his mother haven't accessed this thread and seen how we've been encouraging her to rebel. She may be in trouble!

You have to read the posts to understand, half way through she was warned her name was far too close to another postef so she kindly changed her name, which is why you can’t pm her annep

Ignore last post. I have reread. Seems feasible enough. Can't pm her. wonder why she has stopped posting.

Dont know. I just can't imagine anyone allowing themselves to be treated like that. I would imagine someone restricted so much would have her phone monitored. But maybe my imagination is working overtime.

if its not genuine what would motivate somebody to do this?

I did wonder is it genuine. Especially with choice of name.

Sue, is the forbidden male Dr due to religion? If so you will be fully aware of DP attitude. If not, then he is controlling you. Also DPs mother is not recognising your worth to her. You need to contact Social Services for a care assessment. If DPs mother refuses to accept help from others then it is down to her and her son to cope not you.

what about a home help.? and dont put up with all that c**p from your partner.its not up to him to control you ,whether you see a male or female doctor..tell her you have had enough. and go away for a week maybe more .let her son do it.

I tried to PM the lady to offer help and she is unable to accept messages?

ps I should have said fact is stranger than fiction.

is this poster genuine
I received a slapped wrist from HQ for voicing doubts on a particular post. I keep my thoughts to myself now.

oldbatty - in my experience fact is more realistic than fiction.

Hope Imp Blonde is taking the time she said she needed, before the hospital appointment with mil, to get her head together. It would be sad if she feels she can’t continue with the post, as I hoped she was feeling the love and support from posters on here.

Not too sure about that oldbatty.

I hope The Partner hasn’t found this thread!

is this poster genuine?

PLease come back and give us all an update.

Oh my goodness. I'd just walk away. You must be so utterly stressed out.
You have one life, make the most of it. Get shot of the people that are making you unhappy.

Firstly, yes she was wrong to do that. It's completely two faced.

Also, how do you put up with a partner that dictates which doctor you can and can't see? The NHS is stretched, I take the first one available and couldn't care whether it's a man or woman.

Yes, grannypauline, I do feel worried for her and have been looking out for her reply. However, she did say yesterday morning at 9:09 that she was getting her 'mil' ready for a hospital appointment so am wondering if that might have changed the situation for her. Hopefully the hospital staff will have recognised that her 'mil' needs intervention because of her low weight.

Is anyone else worried that we haven't heard from the OP for a while? She used to reply quite a lot but now silence. I wonder if her husband is now banning her from contacting gransnet. Just a thought. What does everyone else think?

ImpossibleBlonde, you are trapped in this vicious circle by your own fundamental good nature. At the moment you are also ill and exhausted, not least because you don't have a proper bed to sleep in. I hope your hospital appointment was some help in sorting out your medical problems.

You need to assess your situation by asking yourself:
do you have any independent income; are you in a position to work and earn money; is there anywhere you could go to escape this situation and support yourself? Do you have any stake in the place where you are living or are you dependent on your partner? You are trapped in four walls now, plus all the unpaid caring you do for his mother.

Your partner is a dangerously selfish man, who is happy for you to sacrifice your bed, home and health to the needs of his mother, (whilst doing precious little himself) yet has so little respect for you that he harasses you when you see a male doctor. Social Services won't come to your aid because his mother can and has refused their help, and your partner doesn't want them to, probably because of the cost; ultimately the mother's house would be sold to cover costs if she moved into a home.

Concentrate on getting your health back and don't be so foolish as to discharge yourself early if you are hospitalised; use it as a chance to rest. Then plan for your future.

It won't be easy and don't underestimate the power and iron will of this woman, but the situation will only get worse and you will pay the price.