Know it All's

I did know someone who needed to tell everyone, in great detail,how to do things that were quite simple. The joke at work was "don't tell ? you are going to the toilet because he'll spend 10 minutes telling you how to wipe your bottom". This person was like that with everything. It seemed very very annoying.

Its not only the ones who are always right what about the ones who think its a good idea to tell you the "truth" about something, for your own good of course.

I feel rather sorry for people like that. They must feel so inadequate to have to always go one better. and be right!

I've also found (sorry but true) that they are usually men. Women tend to boast more about material things.

I have a fridge magnet which says:

"When I married Mr Right I didn't know his first name was "Always". Made me smile when I bought it and still does now.

red1 I'm so sorry to hear you had a Narcissist father. That is one of the most difficult experiences in a child's life. According to what I have learned, and I am a retired Psychologist who started learning about psychopathy and narcissism after retirement to do a bit of charity work. The reason I became involved was due to my marriage.
It is true that a Narcissist believes they are omnipotent, always right, and will hog the conversation making it a monologue all about themselves. This is a narcissistic trait. On its own it cannot constitute a diagnosis. Narcissistic Personality Disorder requires a tremendous amount of investigation and time before the criteria can be met and the diagnosis made.

I am, none the less, overwhelmed by the incredibly large number of women and quite a lot of men whose lives are being destroyed by narcissistic people.

If you are suffering, I do think You Tube can help but be careful to stick to the properly qualified people and avoid the show-offs who are probably narcissists themselves. One person to look for who is a qualified Mental Health worker is Dana Morningstar whose channel is called Thrive After Abuse. To get her videos put her name in the bar, because her channel name gives you all the phone ins - not so helpful.
My second person, possibly favourite at this time is Stephanie Lyn of Stephanie Lyn Coaching.
I do not like Richard Grannon. Sadly he's the only British one so far too!
Dr Craig Malkin is very good. I was helped very much by his "Covert Narcissism" talk.
There are many books too. I can't stop here to look them up sorry. You can google and look and make sure you read the comments from other people especially those who know what they are talking about!
Narcissists and Psychopaths look for people pleasers especially who are going through a difficult time like after break up of a relationship or who are a lot younger. They start by love-bombing and quickly say you are their soul-mate. They overwhelm you with attention and presents etc. Then they make sure you are split away from friends and family. After they've got you into a point of no return, they turn on you and torture you in all ways possible, using many techniques. They put you down and keep you down. You are what they call "narcissistic supply" for them. They get satisfaction from your misery, from hurting you, from distressing you. Do look up everything you can if you think this is something you are troubled by. It does not have to be a husband or family member, it could be a boss at work or a neighbour. My next door neighbour is one. She is a text book narcissist it is as if she read the book and is acting it out!. I avoid her at all costs.
I have found that the effect of 23 years with my "covert narcissist" husband which followed the effects of a probably narcissistic mother, have left me too sensitive and nervous, with a tendency to anxiety and depression and it's just something I have to deal with and manage.
My heart goes out to all of you in the same boat. Love yourself and don't let anyone put you down!

I find Karma the best approach...wait long enough and the person concerned will trip themselves up and you are rewarded with a smug sense of satisfaction

Just agree with them all the time, eventually it will get them riled and you can say your piece

I like to be informed and instructed by someone who has more knowledge or expertise than I have just as long as they don't abuse me. I get bored with nothing but small talk .

We knew someone like this and I put it down to his absolute fear of appearing stupid. Unfortunately I really liked his wife and do miss her company however the two racist comments he made about my grandson were unacceptable and so without explanation, we walked!

My dad had a friend at the pub who was always right. Mom would spend a long time subtly convincing dad that they needed to do/buy something only for the friend to disagree and dad change his mind. He was cursed by mom!!

Anja thanks for the Pam Ayres link :-) Love it.

Oldwoman 70 My OH says exactly the same as you :-)

I read your post out to him and gave you a big thumbs up. I have to say he was up a ladder with screws in his mouth DIYing at the time so that was a very positive reaction from him :-)

I usually feel sorry for someone who has to be like that. Or I wish I was that cleaver lol

Ho Hum, takes all sorts

The old music hall song ‘two lovely black eyes’....
Two lovely black eyes! Oh what a surprise! Only for telling a man he was wrong I got two lovely black eyes.
You can just imagine these two men in a pub.?

I have a few people in close proximity who know it all, and been there, done that, not bothering to ask what others have done, I try to ignore it most of the tme but become very frustrated. I wonder what these people really feel like, I wonder what it feels like to know it all!

Yes, I know someone like this; they've become worse over the years, and now I simply avoid them. (Their company it like having the radio on - without an "off" switch being available...) As I get older, I find that I'm less willing to spend time with people who simply want an audience rather than a two-way conversation.

My closest and oldest friend has become like that. On any subject she knows everything. Even when subjects come up where I have either studied and researched the subject over many years or where it has formed part of my profession for my working life, she always knows better than I do. I have learned to keep schtum, The alternative is endless talks and photos about her grandchildren, who are the best, the cleverest.....

Why do we remain friends? Because over 60 years we have supported each other through life's traumas - and still do, and a friend who knows you better than you do yourself and will always walk beside you is worth her weight in gold

The brilliant Pam Ayers. Says it all.

My Mum knows absolutely everything ! plus her opinions are always right too ! She has led a very sheltered life, private school, only one husband, never had to go out to work etc but still there is nothing on the planet that she doesn’t know about whatever the subject. My Dad used to call her Whittaker’s Almanac, I call her Mrs Google. She wears everyone out around her with her strong vocal opinions ... I must also confess to childishly gloating when I often prove her wrong ? .... altho she ignores me rather than admit that she is wrong !

TillyBelle my daughter was married to one for years. He didn't like me at all because he knew I could see right through him and much as I wanted to interfere at times,I never did for the sake of my daughter who wouldn't have believed me at the time anyway. It wasn't until they divorced a few years ago that daughter realised " that something hadn't been right " with him and I told her that he was only a step down from a psychopath with his traits which were always about him ! His football no matter what.His nights out no matter what. So tight his arse squeaked. No consideration for her or his two children. No jobs/work done on or in the house or if that did happen it was a disaster and left like that.
Thought he was God's gift.
I think I'd spit in his eye if I ever saw him. It took my daughter ages to realise that she'd been controlled and equally longer to get over the years wasted with him. However she's in a good job,is now her own person and is enjoying rebuilding her home and life.

Nanny41

It feels GREAT

Oh Anja, that link fits in perfectly with this post, and really made me chuckle

I once agreed with a friend that Alton Towers is in Hertfordshire.
My DH comes from Staffordshire and we went once or twice before it was an amusement park.
Who cares, I just feel silently superior ?

I always say, quite loud and pointedly, “I’ve got a black cat, she’s got a panther” seems to shut her (and in my experience it is ALWAYS her) up.

Pam Ayers, love her, thanks Anja brilliant, made me lol - slide away slowly from people who irritate - that's my way of dealing with know it alls, especially if not interested in topic!

I don't think they know they are doing it. No self-awareness. Or other-people-awareness either for that matter!

EllanVannin I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and the children.
You have made other astute points. They hate people who see through them and their partner won't see what the problem is until she is ready. This is not her fault, it is part of the syndrome. Poor girl, it is so hard to cope with the regret afterwards when you realise and look back and feel as if you wasted your life. I have been through this so much. Please tell her she is not alone, there are so many of us. The years she stayed with him were not wasted either, she made a home for her children and kept them safe and protected from the worst aspects of his nature. I suffer badly from low self-esteem directly as a result of his brain washing and constant put-downs. You may need to build your daughter up so she has a good self-image and sees how well she survived.