AIBU School Play do other grandparents get invited?

As others have pointed out tickets to the nativity plays are usually limited to 2 per family. We did get an invite to birthday parties when the children were young, as they (and us) have grown older the children have usually, but not always, brought us a piece of birthday cake round.

I've always been quite happy to give them a miss unless grandson has a starring role.
He made a smashing 'little donkey' one year, wearing a teddybear head on his head and being led onto the stage because he couldn't see where he was going.

Just enjoy them when you see them they can tell you about it
It won’t be long before they won’t want to see you as busy so make the most and stop moaning and learn that they are not yours and we are lucky to have them in our lives
Life is for living

Tickets are usually very limited - I shall not be able to see DG2's play this year. Birthday parties are horrendous, a relief not to be invited or pressed into service

Why do so many grandparents spend so much time taking umbrage at what they do and do not get invited to, constantly comparing how much they see DGC to see how often the other grandparents get invited round.

Aren't parents busy enough without constantly having to deal with aggrieved grandparents complaining that little Johnny has a slight cold and nobody told them or demanding to see every little thing the children do, go to every party etc etc. We catch up with day to day family events on Facebook. A very sensible and efficient way of passing on information . It is also full of insights into DS's work and his political views.

Relax and chill, our contact with our DGC is not a right, and I do not think it should be. Circumstances vary with every family,

We live 200 miles away, while the other grandparents live a mile or two away. They see the children several times a week one way and another, we do not, but this Christmas, all our DC and families will be with us and staying a week. They will becoming on holiday with us at Easter and DGC will spend at least one half term with us. I go with the flow, fit in with DC, and I think we get on and see DC and DGC as much as we do because we do not make demands and are not constantly comparing ourselves with the other grand parents. DC and spouses can relax and not worry whether anything they say might wind us up.

Big hugs, you are not alone .
Letter writing is a possible way of having direct contact, (even if you don’t/ won’t get a reply ) perhaps accompanied by a suitable kids magazine etc
When they become adults you will have a 2nd chance to have more contact etc

I would love to go to nativity plays, but accept space is limited. In any case I usually babysit DGS whilst DS & DiL go to the play, which is much more important. As for birthday parties, when my DS's were young I used to do a family get together and a separate party for their friends. Nowadays with the DGC, I host a family tea party separately to their party, which extends the birthday celebrations for them and gives us a chance to feel included. Win-win!!

Many schools have to limit the number of show tickets per family so do not feel rebuffed if not invited! I have helped out at DGC parties when they wee younger but not now they are school age. We pop over to see them on their birthday for a piece of cake and a cuppa but not often for the party!

Nanny27 - There is no rule, you'll have to ask the school.

Forgot to say, my DC do not inform me when DGC are ill unless it is serious.

sazz1: Apologies I have to rush:
These are only thoughts, not certainties!!
-Possibly because MIL is mother of the GC's mother, therefore gets asked and might be asked to help in the kitchen for parties. Try not to read too much into it.
- At my DGC's Nativity Service/Play, there is very little room hence only parents can be fitted in. I was able to go to a Run-through once as a very special concession because I live a long way away.
- Do you need to be invited to just call in on a Birthday? Can you drop in and wish the child Happy Birthday and watch the fun for a little while then gracefully thank them for having you and depart?
I didn't have GPs at birthdays of my DC as they lived too far away, except once. When DC get older I didn't invite adults, just the children's friends.
Do hope you get a resolution, I don't like to think of you feeling unhappy.

As newish to this could someone please tell me, are tickets usually 2 per child or 2 per family? We have twin grandchildren so will we have 4 tickets or just 2?

Sazzl doesn’t say if there are other grandparents who always get invited, in which case I would be sad too as I am sure we all would.
Yes there are usually only two tickets but at our school there is usually more than one show with a list for those wanting extra tickets.
So far we have always been invited and the other gran goes to another show. The idea of grandparents going to final rehearsal seems a good one. Saves all the aggro of who gets a ticket, but clearly the parents have first dibs.

Oh Mawbroon that You Tube clip was hilarious. Do you think the teacher had told her to “sing out”? Or perhaps she’d found the teacher’s secret stash of brandy?

MawBroon - chortle!
I joyfully attended all my son's school plays, nativities, sports days etc., often reduced to tears by the sweet childlike efforts of ALL contributors. Married, he has no children and not likely in the forseeable future. I envy GP's who are able to share their childrens' children.

Mil wanted to go to our DS graduation. It was a struggle but we managed to get her a ticket.
DS recently asked if we'd like to go to the school play as DGD had a part. Yes please. but then DiL told us it was parents only and it would be very long and boring with every child in the school included.
I think tea and cake sounds perfect. I am invited up to the age of 3 before they hire the local hall etc

Should have said what a good idea from Alima to do a performance for grandparents (& invite contributions/ donations to school funds) !!

What a good idea! Do they charge or do a collection at the end? That would boost school funds!!!

After reading some of the posts we have 5 grandchildren and were asked to all the nativity plays, sports days and any other events throughout the year. They are all adults now, but have a really close bond with all if them.

Life has changed since we were young parents. I think it is quite normal for most grandparents to find out that their children or grandchildren are ill, going away, have passed an exam from facebook.

I'm not saying you have to like it, I don't either, but I am afraid that is just the way it is, right now.

I am glad for you that you are welcome when the GC have birthdays - many GPs are made to feel unwanted.

I have actually hosted my DGD's birthday party several times as I am deemed to have more space! I have been invited to nursery Christmas concerts etc because I live very close by but would not be offended if I wasn't, as often space/tickets are very limited at these events.

As far as parties are concerned, I was able to go an stay with the family for birthdays when the GC were small, but once they were bigger, the parties had to be in different venues - such as the school gym for a 'gym party' which was a great success, but really there was no part I could play in it. Parents picking up their children were usually treated to a glass of wine and a piece of birthday cake. Now they are all too old for parties and usually have some kind of treat with a friend or two.

I used to go with youngest DD to see eldest DGS but at the time she was a lone parent so I had the spare ticket. As others have said schools usually restrict the play to two tickets per family so obviously first shout goes to parents I have ceded my place at eldest DGS plays to his step dad and consider this reasonable.
I have been invited to all birthday parties but they have been in community centres or church halls or theme places etc so not much for me to do apart from in some cases pay!
I wouldn’t be offended if I was asked round for coffee and cake later as that seems quite fair to me.

It's not the end of the world is it?

I usually get invited to school plays etc because my daughter is a single mum. Normally each child may have only 2 guests so it would naturally be the parents. I wouldn't take umbrage if my daughter wanted to take someone else or exclude me. I have gone to parties but, as my daughter's father and I are divorced, I would quite understand if she wanted to invite her Dad to one in my stead. The choice is hers basically.