Why would people do this?

Tanith all condolences on your loss. The season of the year this has happened must be salt in the wound.

I object to being addressed as Mrs ‘ John Smith ‘. I have my own first name, I am a person in my own right after all!

tanith You will come to understand and accept that there is no end to some people's ignorance and insensitivity when it come to bereavement. Thank goodness for the kindness and sense of the majority of people.

If you were Mrs Tanith Smith before he died, you are Mrs Tanith Smith now and always will be unless for any reason you decide to change your surname.

No tanith you are not touchy or extra touchy. X

Thanks everyone I guess I’m just extra touchy right now ?

Easy here Women do not change their surnames, your birth name stays with you for life.
You can use your Husbands surname if you wish but not for anything official and both surnames must be on the door.

Tanith and a {hug} for you.
I’d be upset too. The first Christmas without your DH will be hard
x

Wildswan I just write/address to my brother on the envelope then inside the card it's to both of them.

I admit to leaving off an ex colleague's surname on Christmas cards. She has been married four times and I have no idea of husband no. 4's surname and am a bit embarrassed to ask.

merlot I didn’t find it upsetting, the alternative for me was ‘ he never existed’

I would address a widow as eg., Mrs. Mary Smith. It's the best of both worlds. I think being addressed by the husbands name might be more upsetting but then again maybe not?

A divorced woman is Mrs/Ms Mary Smith , a widow remains Mrs Jack Smith but now this is not adhered to

teetime so sorry to hear about your SIL. I remember you recently mentioned how ill he was on another thread. Condolences to your family.

I would never dream of leaving off anyone's surname. That seems very strange indeed. I'm not surprised you find it upsetting.

I remember years ago that ladies were always addressed as Mrs John Smith, and only when widowed would be Mrs Ann Smith.

I do have a problem writing the address on cards for long-term couples who aren't wed. I sometimes resort to just writing John and Ann, rather than the long scrawl of both full names. What do other people do?

When my daughters were getting married I chose to send the invitations from Mrs Jack Bloggs and not Mrs Mary Bloggs , my sisters and mother were so annoyed !

I see your point. I juts sent a parcel to my daughter who was widowed last week and wondered whether to use Ms instead of Mrs - opted for Mrs. I hope that was right.