Not everyone's happy.

I emailed my sister in Canada at the beginning of last week. We were last in touch nearly a year ago around her birthday in January. Oh and I got a card for my 70th in March.
Not a word since

mumof, that's rotten.

My sister and I fell out two months ago. I have written a reconciliatory letter to her but she hasn't even sent us a Christmas card. I feel so sad about it.

I am sure Paw would want you to enjoy Christmas and also your DD Annie. Thoughts for all those bereaved this year
.

This will be my first Christmas without my darling DH, but he will be remembered with joy as well as sadness, and a few tears shed. I hope to celebrate Christmas as he would want me to, not with a long face, but with smiles and happy memories in the bosom of our family. I have even bought him a Christmas card which is in pride of place, so that he knows how much he is loved. We are not all the same and I realise that for many people it will be a most painful and difficult time, and I wish for those people the courage and the strength to get through it. Yes, I will be grieving, but I will remember the happy Christmases we had, and be looking forward to the ones he would want me to have without him. He is always with me in my heart.

Maw. I so understand x

I saw a Lockerbie tribute yesterday where the presenter said that you die twice.Once when your heart stops beating and again the last time anyone speaks your name .
I always talk about our friends and family who aren't with us ,the laughs the fun and even the sad times.It does make me sad that my GC didn't know my lovely Dad or my Granny but I tell them stories about them and hope they'll remember and pass them on.
Have the best Christmas you can ,raise a glass to the ones who left you behind and just remember memories never die.They will be with you forever .

I won’t forget Annie but I don’t want him to be airbrushed out by those mistakenly thinking they are sparing my feelings.
I think,the only way through this is to be as busy as possible and by the time I draw breath, it will be over.

The first Christmas after my husband had died the previous March I remember filling the children’s stockings by myself was very strange. Other than that, though, I don’t think it was an unhappy Christmas.

I think nothing underpins the feeling of personal loss, more than Christmas, with it's enforce joility and at its worst it's such an over the top consumer extravaganza, with the original message getting quite lost.

To all those who have been devastated by loss

But we who grieve must remember all those who are not grieving and be happy for them , wish them a joyful Christmas x

It’s the second Christmas for me too. There’s a big space where he should be. As a Clergyman this time of the year had a special rhythm for him and we would be very busy. Last year DGS broke his leg just before Christmas so I was busy in a different way. This year it’s all very empty for me. Taking time for quiet reflection and seeeing friends before joining the family on Christmas Eve.
I have happy memories of Christmas. For all of us it’s time to make new ones but there is a sadness that is just there and in many ways binds us together.
Wishing all GNs a peaceful Christmas.

I thought about writing something earlier on abaout thinking about the cards we send.

Though I agree with what Misadventure about other people having a good time, there are things that unintentionally twist the knife in the wound.

In these days of make your own personal cards it just needs a little thought to realise that the card with the photo of your grandchildren on the front is not the one to send to someone whose daughter has had a miscarriage.

Nor the one with you and your husband at your silver wedding to the friend whose husband is dying.

Or the last year’s picture of all your family together at Christmas to someone who will be on their own.

Mawbroon
Annie

So sorry for your loss.

Luckgirl. X

"shared joys"

Gransnet is a huge mishmash of topics and of emotions - just like all of human life. There is room for sympathy, room for celebration, room for sadness and room for joy. In the main, all these emotions are treated with respect; and Gransnet can be a wonderful source of comfort or of shred joys.

Being online, and the individuals not really known to us, it can be hard to judge the best responses - I know people who see Christmas as a chance to remember happier celebrations in the past, and others who cannot get past the pain that these memories bring. One's response to each person is different.

Apart from the political threads (!), on the whole Gransnetters are responsive and kind to others and reflect the best of human nature. Long may it be so.

Christmas wishes to all - whatever their circumstances.

Annie and Miss A ,so sorry.

Maw your memories will not fade I promise you x

My husband died 1975. I read on a Christmas thread about leaving mince pies for Father Christmas, my first thought was my husband coming off duty, mince pies had been placed by our little ones , he said ‘mince pies’ and ate one , two little people squealed in horror .

My friend often rings to talk about her recently deceased husband. I agree with Maw we need to be able to share memories at Christmas and other important times, yes its sad and yes there may be tears but that is better than not talking about our loved ones. .

They certainly do, Annie.
They just make the yearning stronger, because I want more than memories, and I can't have more.

But they are not batty because they hurt .

Annie

Not wishing to sound trite Annie, but lovely memories.

I have lay awake the last two nights , my therapist asked me to think of ‘ a safe place’ a holiday, a walk, a house, somewhere I felt safe and happy, there is no such place,
How I loved to walk through the grounds of Powys Castle watching the deer, I took my daughter with me pushing her Pram. My beloved New Quay? No I see her playing on the beach, so it is with Christmas, no tree because I see her decorating it, no cards up because her card isn’t there.