Never again

I would ALWAYS ask before taking a dog to a function, especially with various other people there. Then no problems - you arrive to a welcome or you make arrangements for dog elsewhere. Onus on them to talk about it before the day.

I agree i wouldnt ask them again,nor their dog-although strictly speaking its not the dogs fault- im sure he'd much rather have stayed at home if hes old.

amt101 Nice post. Have you got anymore? This could run and run, as long as the dogs can keep going.

I think you were right. I like dogs, but some people do see. To treat them as if they are a child and not an animal. And you are right, a small child and any dog, has to be watched carefully.

When my DGD was 3 her family went to an uncle for a couple of days at Christmas. Their dog, a terrier type, bit my DGD in the face. She had to have stitches and has a small scar near her mouth which will be with her for life. The bite caused a serious rift between the childs father and his brother.
You were absolutely correct in deciding to keep your DGS and the unfamiliar dog separate.

I had all he family here Christmas day dog as well there were no small children . I really love dogs and treat them as family but had there been youngsters I would have kept here away from them better safe than sorry.

I had a goodish day yesterday at my daughters who generally lives overseas but came back with her two dogs and young cat. My granddaughter was there with her dog who the cat is also used to. My ex was there too with his wife and dog that the cat didn’t know at all. His wife said later that he chases cats. So we had 4 dogs rush around the house every time the eis dog saw the cat. The others dogs just joined in the running, tree nearly fell over and it was general pandemonium. I ended up shouting at my ex, he said you leave my dog lone. Why bring a dog that loves chasing cats?

Next year she can be the host and do all the work, while you bring in a pet goat to nibble the curtains and a parrot to perch above the cooker and poop in the gravy.

the arrangement was that the dog could come but was to stay in the (heated garage)
I'd apologise for not sticking to this arrangement.

hi your sister should have asked you about bringing dog with them i always ask people if they mind if my dog ellie comes but saying that i never leave ellie for the day most of my friends say yes its fine but have got a few friends that dont like dogs or have cats so i visit them for a couple of hours without ellie i have never had any problems i hope you still managed to have a nice day and dont worry about it soon forgotton

This boiler room sounds perfect to me. A glass of wine, a comfy chair, some scraps from the table and WiFi. I'd have been very happy.
It's a dog's life for sure.

Well I think they must be a bit stupid then. If the dog had bitten the child it would have been taken away, then they'd really have something to be upset about. Most people I know voluntarily keep their dogs away from other people's kids for that very reason - because they do love their dog. SOunds like the sister found it more important to get her own way than to care about her dog, which pretty much explains her selfish attitude altogether.

Wow gransnetters you have no idea how lovely it is to have these supportive comments. Just to reassure all the dog lovers the arrangement was that the dog could come but was to stay in the (heated garage) I folded like a cheap tent and allowed dog to stay in very warm and cosy boiler room on basis it was an old dog! It was the repeated actions of sister and bil allowing dog out into kitchen that stressed me out - never again though! Xxx

It is a shame the ground rules weren’t established beforehand. We are dog owners and would never presume to take our dog anywhere without establishing first that it would be acceptable. In fact we prefer to leave our dog at home in familiar surroundings as he is a very nervous dog and dislikes unfamiliar situations.

Our neighbour’s son recently left home to live with his partner. When they visit his parents they bring their dog who is put in the back garden for the duration of the visit, including yesterday lunch time. The dog barks constantly and we have to put our tv on to drown out the noise for us and our dog. Every time we wonder why on Earth they can’t leave the dog at home where he would be less distressed and more comfortable.

I agree with Urmstongran. Best to phone up and say sorry we saw things differently yesterday re the dog and move on. You will probably not reach any agreement so I would avoid discussion. You just need to try and keep the relationship intact.

We had 6 adults, 4 children and 5 dogs here yesterday. The children fell out at one point but the dogs behaved impeccably!

If the dog is old surely it would have been much better to leave it home instead of subjecting it to all the goings on in a different environment. Had dogs in the past and when DGC appeared on the scene and visited us dog was always secured away from children. Digs are like people, can only take so much, want to escape and if they can't, well sure we all know what the result can be. YANBU. Just ignore sister or tell her you didn't want situation where everyone would be regretting not being responsible and separating dog.

angry if did that to my dog I would turn around and go back home again that dog mean more to them than any thing as mine do think about it

My dog stayed outside in his kennel all day yesterday and came in at 11pm when everyone was gone. No way do I inflict him on my guests and I think your sister was a cheeky mare to bring him without asking permission.
If I was visiting the OP, I’d have left the dog outside in the car and taken him out for a few short walks during the day.
If your sister can’t organise alternative arrangements for the dog, she should stay at home.

OP, your compromise solution was more than reasonable but it appears from the text that your sister is a selfish madam. Ignore her childish behaviour.

Tutumuch Completely on your side. No one should take any pet, not even a hamster or stick insect, to any other person's house without checking that it's presence would be acceptable to its host.

Its a dogs life.

Flutterby123 what you see and enjoy with your cats others enjoy with their dogs. I'm lucky I have and love both in equal measure (not just one of each either). I don't take my dogs to other people's homes they are given a very long walk left in their comfy warm beds with biscuits and water and not left for more than 6 hours (any longer and our neighbour walks them reciprocated when required). The cats well 2 go out 1 stays in cuz that's how they like it. Once home all in fed and settled. I can quite see the attachment to dogs and easily see the same to cats children on the other hand.......

The real problem, as I see it here is that the dog's owners or at least one of them, regards the animal as a substitute child.

This being so, there is no way you could have tackled the issue of the dog without offending them.

If you decide to invite them again, I suggest you make it very clear that the invitation does not include the dog. That will probably make them refuse to come.

If they turn up with the dog, aske them to leave it in the car.

There is unfortunately no way you can get them to see your point of view, so I am afraid you probably have to put up with the dog if you want to see them. If you decide to invite them on their terms rather than yours, do so when your grandchild is not going to be there, because as you quite rightly say and old dog and a toddler is a very poor combination. You would never forgive yourself if the child was bitten.

God what’s wrong with a boiler room for an animal? Jeez, you’d think the woman had tied the dog up in the back garden for the day! The dog was warm, comfortable with water.
More importantly, I wonder if the sisters are speaking?

I am a dog lover but really draw the line when people feel the need to take there pet pooches everywhere with them, dogs are not welcome at my house as my DDs and DH arent keen on them jumping over them and being annoying. I know people regard them as child substitutes and part of there family which is fine but they have to realise just because they love them not everyone does

The dog which caused serious lifelong injuries to a little girl was an adored family pet which "had never bitten anyone before"
Just saying.