Never again

Lots of views about dogs, some dogs are ok, safe and happy in some situations and others aren’t. Did you need to put the dog in the boiler room, sounded a bit bleak in there? Feels rather as though you have a HUGE history with your sister and their dog became the scapegoat. Hopefully you can resolve the issues, my sympathy is with doggie!

We have only 3 dogs at home now but have had 5 plus my daughters dog at Xmas time with young children without issue. However next week we are going to daughters with our little dog and putting the two big ones into kennels for 4days. Their house their rules plus they have cats.

Can't understand why you didn't discuss the dog situation beforehand - as a dog owner at one time in my life, and having a married daughter (and family) with two large Labradors, I can't imagine why the subject never arose. It seems that everyone is at fault in your situation - you for not making it clear that they were being invited without the dog, and your sister for not checking with you whether the invitation included him. As for the dog, poor thing!

your house, your rules.
I love my dog but would never take her where she was not welcome. Their problem, not yours

Why didn't your husband say something himself.

I know someone who was badly bitten on the face when a toddler by the pet of a family friend.
The dog had to be destroyed.
The friendship was ruined.

I certainly wouldn't be inviting her and her dog next year.
Why should the rest of us suffer because they want to take their dogs out for the day, stay at home if you don't like the host's arrangements.

I hope you weren’t spiteful to that poor old dog, taking it by its collar. It wasn’t the dog’s fault, I think you were way over the top.
If I were your sister I wouldn’t be very happy.

You made me laugh ReadyMeals about putting the toddler in the boiler room! I wonder what the OP sister would e thought if she’d suggested it and leave the cosseted dog in the room instead ha!
By the way you can edit. Set up your message but instead of pressing ‘post message’ press ‘preview message’ and read it through first to see that you are happy with it.

Although I agreed with the dog and the child being kept in seperate rooms, I disagree with the people who said to leave the dog at home alone. Unlike cats, who tend to form attachments to places, and much prefer simply being left at home, dogs don't really like being left, even those who are too well behaved to show it. And when the dog is old, they start to feel more vulnerable and their toilet functions can go up the creek too and you need to be able to hear them if they start wanting something. I expect the dog was happier in the laundry room with the owners nearby than it would have been at home.

Am I alone that I have never been able to see the point of dogs? I do not understand dog owners who believe everyone loves their dog as much as they do. "He's only being friendly", when in the park their dog jumps up and paws mud down your coat.

Signed Cat Lover (probably about to be trolled )

We are dog owners, always have been, but I respect that not all people feel like we do. If it's an all day visit dogs are walked and then left in a safe room in the visitors house with comfortable bedding, treats and a radio. Frequent toilet trips during the day, and no worries. At home they have plenty of room in the house to go off by themselves away from people. And definitely no dogs in the kitchen when we are preparing food. I agree small children and dogs definitely do not mix, it's not worth taking the risk. I hate pictures of small children sitting on dogs and pulling ears and poking eyes, what are their parents thinking

again = instead. I do wish this forum allowed edit

Perhaps they expected you to put the toddler in the boiler room again. I tend to agree with your decision not to let the dog and toddler simply find their own level - especially in the extra mayhem of christmas which typically stresses out dogs as well as being distracting for the adults who may not end up being as mindful of developing situations as they might have been. Some advance discussion of your worries and expectations might have avoided having the showdown on the day itself.

Completely agree, they should have left dog at home, I don't like dogs around small children - respecting other people's home is paramount - seems too many people take advantage x

What a damn cheek, texting you to say how upset she is.
Would that be for hosting Xmas dinner and inviting them round.
You also provided for the dog, so what’s the problem?

I would be fuming after being treated like that.
I am not a dog lover either, but have put up with a niece once staying here. She let the dog sleep in her bed and of course, bedding covered in dog hair.
It’s your relatives that should be apologising to you, Tutumuch.

DH breeds dogs and won't entertain selling a pup to a home with under 5 year olds - you are quite right they do not mix! - especially if the dog is elderly and not used to youngsters. I am surprised the 'parents' aka owners were not more considerate towards their dog
Chill and enjoy your Boxing Day!

We have a lively gentle little cocker spaniel. DD and family, together with 9mth old DGS all here for 8 days. DGS crawling at speed, fascinated by dog. No way is he allowed anywhere near the dog. My rules. No dog has ever attacked a child before. Until it does. So you are absolutely right. Keeping them separate is a hassle but nothing when you think of what just one irritated bite can do to a child’s face. How upset your sister feels now is her problem, not yours.

Sorry just read your post again & obviously they stayed all day, ate with you in a toxic atmosphere (beyond awful - I bet you were compensating with forced jollity by then to keep the conversations going!) and then left in a huff. Horrible spoilt Christmas Day.

You were quite right in your actions Tutumuch. Your dsis should not have brought the dog if she kn ew your dgs was going to be there. She was being very inconsiderate. I can understand your dd would be worried about dog with small child. My dgs came for day on 16th Dec and we did an early Xmas dinner and I shut my own dog in dining room whilst dgs was running around lounge and I was cooking in kitchen. Then we all took dog out for walk after dinner.

Definitely not being unreasonable! So many dog lovers are ‘love me love my dog’ brigade. Then turn up everywhere with them as though no one could possibly object! And I’m a dog lover. Had 3 of our own over the 45 years we’ve been married. And never took them to anyone’s house. No need in my opinion!
That said, perhaps you hadn’t forewarned your sister about not bringing the dog and especially for a ‘big day’ celebration - they took the huff and went home to perhaps no special dinner as it blindsided them. Communication is key when planning ‘the day’ so that everyone knows the expectations.
Hurtful to receive a passive aggressive text from your sister this morning. It’s easy to text! I’d ring her up now and say ‘let’s move on from yesterday. A total misunderstanding on both sides.’ Good luck!

They were in the wrong, plain and simple.
I am a dog lover as are all my family but I would have been quite happy with the arrangements that you made, if this had been my elderly dog.
The safety of your Dgc is more important than the feelings of your Sister and husband. If you do reply to her text, tell her that you could not take the risk of having their dog loose with a toddler around. End of!

Text her back to say how upset YOU were with HER for bringing the dog into the kitchen where you were preparing food for Christmas dinner for her and ther whole family. You were harassed, exhausted, worried about how it would all turn out, surrounded by adults, children, toddlers, hot fat, boiling water, sharp knives - the last thing you wanted was the dog that you thought was safely tucked up in the cosy boiler room with all he needed.

The dog himself could have been upset by the whole busy set-up and been tempted to snap, and then he would have have been blamed for any injury. He would have been better at home, but as a second-best he was in the boiler room. Why couldn't she co-operate? And why is husband annoyed with you - he could have put his foot down on your behalf while you got on with the cooking, surely.

You had already made it clear what you wanted, This was your house and they were guests. Next year she can be the host and do all the work, while you bring in a pet goat to nibble the curtains and a parrot to perch above the cooker and poop in the gravy.

Christmas ?
We have been traveling all over to see our family they live 150 miles away. They couldn't sort out where to meet up we have been pillar to post. I have 3 children and 4 grandkids here and one living abroad with 3 children. We're exhausted

We have a dog, as do my 2 daughters. One of my daughters dogs doesnt mix very well, so she leaves him at home, our dog and my eldest daughters dog get on very well so if we are at either of our houses we bring them along. They enjoy being at each other’s houses and are a lot happier that way than being left at home on their own. BUT I wouldn impose on anyone that didnt have a dog, or where he wasnt invited.

Your guests behaved very badly Tutumuch. My daughter brought her 5 month old puppy with her on Christmas Day. She asked in advance and promised to keep him in his crate. If she hadn’t brought him they would have had to leave straight after lunch. We had 8 GC here aged from 18 months to 13 years. The dog stayed in its crate all the time it was in the house and lots of visitors went for a long walk with the puppy after lunch. My DIL is terrified of dogs and even she said she’d forgotten the dog was in the house as he was so well behaved.
Oldest son is coming tomorrow for a few days and also bringing a puppy with them. I’m really hoping his is a well behaved!