Never again

You are completely in the right OP. If there had been an incident between the dog and the toddler, it would have been far worse.

You are not being unreasonable. I can never understand why some people think that the whole world should love their dog as much as they do.
And in this case, with a toddler in the house and food being prepared in the kitchen it was utterly unreasonable of them to think their dog would be welcome.
I do feel a bit sorry for the dog, it's not his fault. But it's not your fault either.

You were quite right Tutumuch. Don't be bullied!

Completely with you Tutumuch. I do hope you have ignored her text.

We have several dogs in the family and whenever we go to each other's houses, always ask if it is ok the dog comes too ! I can't understand this idea of taking dogs wherever you go - I've seen some absolutely petrified by noise at motorsports by the noise.
It's your home and you have a right to expect other people to respect that and on this occasion the dog owners are in the wrong. Sure the dog would have been happier at home in a quiet place where everything he knew was. BiL in the wrong !

we run a home sitting and pet care business yesterday we sat a very elderly collie so owners could go out to relatives for the day without worrying. dog had a nice time with our dogs lots cuddles and a relaxed atmosphere for everyone

Very bad manners. Iam is a dog lover - her guests knew that, but still realised that there were some house rules to abide by with little ones there (and even without).

Your guests Tutumuch were extraordinarily rude and selfish. I have been in your position, with no children here, and have said very clearly that it is our choice not to have dogs in our home or garden: smell, hair, slobber, shit in the garden, boisterousness etc. - our home, our garden, our rules. Enter blackmail stage left!......but she will get too hot in the car etc. I know she will, so why bring her in the first place, when you know how we feel?

OH is frail and ill - do I want a dog knocking him over? - no I do not.

I respect that others enjoy their dogs - that is fine - but I do expect them to get their heads round the fact that not everyone shares that view and to act accordingly. It is not difficult!

You have all my sympathy. Don't invite them again!!

Gransnetters you ar amazing thank you for your supportive comments. Tbh there were s a history my older sister and he husband both very set in their ways but before retired in very powerful jobs and not used to challenge. They had niece late in life and the dog is very much a substitute child. I have hosted them at mine for Christmas when they have not gone on holiday but in past dog has gone to a family member who died last year. I think it was a mix of the whole sibling thing (sister is my mums fav), me always trying to please everyone, and frustration that my daughters and husband were annoyed with me!! Oh and the dog was well cared for in the large boiler room with a made up bed of towels and I put brother in laws coat / shoes in room for familiar smells, plus water. My sister has already texted me this morning to say how upset she is with me ? .

Tutumuch, YANBU at all! I have two dogs of my own, and my daughter and boyfriend bring their hound when they come, but they do know there are rules, their dog has to stay here with ours when we go to Granny's, and that is accepted. Dogs are left with their beds, water and treats and are happy as can be. We nip back to give them a lovely walk after lunch on Christmas day and all are happy. I dont think the dogs would be too comfortable at Granny's with strange cat, and loads of people bouncing about!

I am with Tutumuch on this, even on a normal visit without the stress of Christmas Day cooking our dogs are kept away from the little ones a DGC could just pull the dog by mistake and being an older dog it could turn on the child.
I think your BIL is unreasonable and realise its your home and your wishes should be respected.

Did your sister not ask if it was alright to bring the dog Tutumuch ? That is quite an imposition if not. I agree with Lynne59 the dog would have been happier at home.
You are lucky it all worked so well Iam64 I think that is the exception not the rule.
We are invited out today and tomorrow and would not think of taking any or all of our dogs with us despite being told they would be welcome. They are settled at home on their beds after a good walk and meal and I don't have to worry what they might get up to in a strange environment.

Last week as a pre Christmas family do, we had 18, including 2 toddlers and a baby, 3 visiting dogs joined our resident two dogs.
All the dogs were walked together before we sat down to eat. Two were staying overnight with their owners and those two dogs stayed in their bedroom for the duration. My two, plus another family dog they get on well with, went into the Utility, where our dogs sleep and are fed.
Problem solved - dogs all happy, toddlers able to race about and adults could relax.
I'm sorry you had a stressful time. I'm relieved we all had good open and honest discussions before the day arrived. One of the visiting dogs is an old terrier, who will nip anyone given a chance. that's one of the one's who slept happily upstairs out the way.

Lot to be said for smaller get togethers big mixes don’t always work
Did they ask if they could bring the dog? Do they normal take it everywhere with them ?
Well in essence I don’t think they felt very welcome if you took the dog from them and shut it in a room as soon as they arrive
I wouldn’t have wanted it round either but I wouldn’t have been so forceful to guests

Downright rude of them. I'm on your side on this one. It's a shame it ended badly. Has this happened before if it's an old dog? Perhaps before you had DGC you allowed the dog?

I would have felt and acted as you did Tutumuch. I agree that small children and unfamiliar dogs are not a good mix and I would not want a dog in my kitchen while I cooked.

Did they know the dog wouldn't be welcome?

Hmmm....Why couldn't they have left the dog at their house, with the heating on, plenty of food and water, and perhaps a radio on?

I feel sorry for the dog - being taken to a different place, full of other people/smells/noises, then being banished to a room alone.